Sanders quotes from Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race

MacArthur

Well, if it isn't the smiling silvertons.

Josee

[kicks the cheese out the way, revealing the next tip, in sign form] I hate silver!

Jacques

[reading] "Take your cheese and sail away to where Mona Lisa's on display."

Sanders

The Louvre!

Don

The Louvre-- home to many paintings I was asked to stop touching.

Don

Yesterday's Chill Zone was the Louvre, which is today's starting point. Teams will start in the order they finished, which means Cadets are-- [The Ice Dancers walk up instead of the Police Cadets; halts them] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yesterday's winners go first, icecapades.

MacArthur

Yeah, relax, silver streak!

Sanders

Wait your turn!

Sanders

[takes a tip from the Don box] "Take the train to Calanque de Maubois on the Mediterranean coast, and search the station for your next travel tip." Let's go!

Don

[voiceover, a map displays the northern part of France with Paris indicated by the Eiffel Tower, a dotted line travels to the southern part of France] Teams must take the train south to Calanque de Maubois. Calanque de Maubois skirts the Mediterranean south of France with sand so fine you WANT it to get in your shorts. The Red Cliffs are just one of the many sites that make this a popular tourist spot. (Cut to the beach; in a speedo) Did I mention that the beaches are awesome? Because they ARE. [A crab pulls on his speedo and releases it; yelps in pain]

Dwayne

[grabs a tip from the Don box] It's a Botch or Watch. Whose turn is it?

Junior

Yours. What's the challenge?

Brody

[reading] "Who Wants to Swim With…" [gasps in horror] SHARKS?!

Don

In this Botch or Watch challenge, whoever didn't draw the caricature in Paris must swim to this part of the Mediterranean, and retrieve a travel tip from the dorsal fin of a great white sh- [screams as a shark pops out from the water; shaking his fist] Uh… Try that again, and you'll get a taste of this! Huh? Wanna dance with the widow-maker?

Sanders

"Note: Eaten teammates will result in disqualification." Wow, they really thought of everything.

Sanders

There's the Don box! [gets a tip] It's an All-In. "Broken Icelandic Telephone?"

Don

For this All-In, teams need to hold down the button on this speaker box to hear me say, "Please give me my next travel tip." in Icelandic, with perfect pronunciation. [presses the button; through speaker, in Icelandic language] Vinsamlegast gefðu mér mina travel ábending. Then they must run across the geothermal field of hot springs, and repeat the sentence to this Icelandic local. [gestures to the swan lady and exclaims in disgust by her dress] Sweet sister of ducks, what are you wearing? Say the sentence right, you get the next tip. Say it wrong, and you have to go all the way back to hear the sentence again.

Don

In this All-In challenge, one team member has to make a headpiece, the other a tail, worthy of walking the parade during Carnival. When this local approves of their handy work, they'll get their next tip.

MacArthur

Piece of cake. [interview] I know how to make costumes. I went trick-or-treating as a beat cop for 10 years straight.

Sanders

Seriously? Every year?

MacArthur

Well, one time I mixed it up and went as a parole officer, so, yeah.

Don

The lady cops take the lead, and back at the bullet ants, teams from plane #1 are still botching-or-watching.

Geoff

[after getting both his hands bitten by the ants] I pump iron. So, once righty started swelling, I just had to switch to the left. Symmetry is what bodybuilding's all about.

Brody

Dude, your mitts are ripped!

Kelly

[to her daughter while grabbing onto a vine] Hop on, and hold on! DO IT!

Taylor

Mom, stop. You know screaming makes your neck waddle.

MacArthur

Why aren't you two making out anymore, huh? Got tired of the… [makes kissing noises]

Sanders

Okay, that's really distracting. Just sit there and navigate.

MacArthur

It's a little something I like to call strategy.

Sanders

We're going to Australia! Yes!

Don

Australia, home to the unique Sydney Opera House, Ayers Rock, and disturbingly cute koalas.

Rock

Let’s save this farm, Whoohoo!

Sanders

Ah, yeah.

Noah

Aw!

Brody

Here, albino, bino, bino! Don’t worry, bud, well get those rabbits.

Jacques

Lapin! [gets attacked] Aaah! A little help?

Josee

Not now, I’m busy clearing. [MacArthur stares at her] They boomeranged us.

Jacques

We boomeranged them.

Josee

I want revenge!

MacArthur

You’ll have to get out there and patch her up ASAP.

Sanders

You’re not gonna stop first?

MacArthur

Agh, new plan! [drives faster to crash into a red vehicle making the Ice Dancers scream in terror] BOOYA!

MacArthur

A disgusting amount of pork and beans? FOR FREE?! WOHOOOO! [hogs it all for herself, Sanders tries to scoop some] Get your own pot!

Sanders

Someone has a bit of a sharing problem.

MacArthur

You're right, and I forgive you.

MacArthur

I used to hate mammals. But this narwhal is pretty cool.

Sanders

Uh, we're mammals.

MacArthur

I know.

Stephanie

It's an All-In.

Carrie

"Who Loves Peppers…"

Sanders

"…and Who Loves Dip?"

Don

For this All-In, a team member must eat one hot pepper from this food cart. Once eaten, wave the corresponding flag color. Then the second team member must act like an Acapulco cliff diver. Eat the hottest pepper, and your partner leaps from the lowest ledge, there. Eat a mid-range pepper, and your partner jumps from there. But eat the mildest pepper, and your partner is basically jumping from the space station. Cliff jumpers will find their next tip, attached to canteens, anchored along the bottom of the bay.

Carrie

"The canteens are filled with just enough cold milk to soothe the pepper-eater's burning mouth."

Don

Um, you seem to be shy one loud, aggressive partner.

Jacques

Ah! There's only one cop. They don't win!

Don

Not yet. But unless one of you coughs up two burros, I'll have to give you a 10-minute penalty.

NO!

Sanders

[victoriously] Yes! [calling out to her partner as the Ice Dancers are penalized for ten minutes] Hurry, MacArthur! You've got 10!

MacArthur

Okay, donkey. WAKE UP!

Sanders

From now on, we stay in the winners circle by any means necessary.

MacArthur

Does this mean I get-

Sanders

No, you cannot taser anyone.

MacArthur

Aw. [Ice Dancers’ interview]

Josee

Second place. Again!

Jacques

But at least I got another team eliminated.

Josee

That's true. We did. It's like we won a gold medal in treachery!

Sanders

[reading the tip] "Travel to Cần Thơ, Vietnam."

Don

Cần Thơ is not only a great name for a movie villain, it's also the largest city in Vietnam's thriving Mekong Delta. Teams will find their next tip here, along the Mekong River, where the fish are plentiful, ugh, and pungent. Get that thing away from me! [more characters getting travel tips]

Devin

Uhh! It says- here! You read, I’ll get us a cab! Taxi!

Carrie

Uh, wrong way!