Josee quotes from Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race

Josee

Gold medal, whoo! [yells in fear as the Police Cadets crash into them from behind]

MacArthur

Nailed it! [gets a tip from the Don box] Huh. It's a Botch or Watch.

Don

In this Botch or Watch, whoever didn't eat the stew in Morocco must draw a caricature of their partner. When this local French artiste approves of the drawing, they'll receive their next tip.

MacArthur

Well, if it isn't the smiling silvertons.

Josee

[kicks the cheese out the way, revealing the next tip, in sign form] I hate silver!

Jacques

[reading] "Take your cheese and sail away to where Mona Lisa's on display."

Sanders

The Louvre!

Don

The Louvre-- home to many paintings I was asked to stop touching.

Josee

Bye! You stink worse than this cheese float!

MacArthur

Too bad you forgot your oars!

Jacques

Darn it!

Josee

Jacques, you were supposed to get the oars!

Josee

[in Icelandic] Vinsamlegast gefðu mér mina travel ábending. [the swan lady gives the Ice Dancers their next tip] "Take the helicopter to Skaftafell National Park, and find the next Don box."

Don

The Ice Dancers have the lead, but now they'll have to wait. The helicopter will only depart once six teams are aboard.

Rock

C'mon, guy! You gotta get the tip! [Spud sticks his hand in the mitt to get the tip and gets bitten and swollen by the ants, but doesn't scream in pain; Rockers' interview] Spud's got a delayed reaction to everything, including pain. So I don't expect him to feel those hundreds of excruciating bites, for like, two hours. Then he'll be all like, "Yow!" and then like, "Oooh!" and then like, "YOW!"

Spud

Uh, what are you talking about?

Josee

[takes a tip from the Don box] Botch or Watch. You're up, Jacques. Get the tip!

Jacques

[sticks his hand in the mitt, and screams in pain as the ants bite him] It stings like missing gold in Vancouver if I have a point! [interview] Arriving late to Brazil means we had to up our performance.

Josee

Like the way I did in the Olympic Trials.

Jacques

[agreeing] Yes, like the way we did that.

Jacques

Tell me again what happened?

Josee

I told you, a monkey jumped down from a tree, picked up a coconut and threw it at you.

Laurie

Yes! Yes! From last place to first in one day!

Miles

We deserve it.

Don

No, you deserved a 30-minute penalty, that’s all you're getting.

Miles

What?! We won fair and square!

Don

Each one of you were supposed to make a component of the costume, but Miles made both of yours.

Don

Ice Dancers, you're in 1st place!

Josee

[blows a kiss] Yes! In your face, Vegans! [she and Jacques scream like little girls very frightfully at Laurie's swollen face]

Josee

[reading the tip] "Take a donkey cart to Bucharest and fly to… Hawaii!"

Don

Hawaii! Home of beautiful sunshine, ukeleles, and shirts that should only be worn ironically. Once teams land, they'll need to find this Don box. [notices it in Hawaiian-themed; unamused] Ha-ha-ha, very funny. Was that you, wardrobe?

Josee

[screeching to a stop, realizing something] Something doesn't feel right. [gasps] Oh, no! Bun-bun! Where's Bun-bun?!

Jacques

It's okay. We don't need a rabbit's foot. Like you said about my underpants, it's just a silly superstition.

Josee

Okay, take off your lucky ditch, then. [Jacques runs off] That's what I thought!

Don

Carrie, Devin, congrats, you're in 2nd place! Jacques, Josee, you've come in… 3rd.

Josee

No, not again! Bronze, it's the worst medal. The road of shame is paved with bronze. (Jacques Crying)

Ennui

[as Crimson makes her Hawaiian grass skirt all dark black] She only wears black. Even if it's grass, it must be dark grass.

Jacques

One time, I was late picking up Josee from practice, her mom attacked me with a lamp.

Josee

I don't miss that lamp.

Jacques

Or her mom.

Josee

Forged from lava, this stone embodies my fiery determination to win! (laughs evilly)

Jacques

You mean "our" determination to win?

Josee

Hmm? Oh, yeah. Sure.

Don

[as the Ice Dancers approach the Chill Zone] Welcome to the Chill Zone. You've come in 3rd, again. [Jacques and Josee gasp in shock] Kidding! The twins got here way before you.

Jay

Me and Mickey took one of the non-gold cabs. They're a lot faster.

Jacques

You mean we're… 4TH?! We didn't make the podium at all?!

Don

What podium? There is no podium.

Josee

There is always a podium!

Josee

How are you feeling?

Jacques

I can't feel my face!

Josee

Good. [feeds the street food to Jacques to eat it] Done! We're in first place! [gets the tip] It's a Botch or Watch, "Who ever didn't look for rings in Hawaii…"

Don

Must pull their teammate by rickshaw all the way here, to the Great Wall of China. Using only their unimentally map. Last team to find the Chill Zone hidden somewhere along the wall and check in, could be checking out.

Jacques

Orivwa!

MacArthur

Hussle!

Josee

Jacques is mad at me.

Jacques

I'd like an apology.

Josee

Why should I apologize? Obviously, I didn't know it was bad luck when I took it from the island. Ugh!

Jacques

Apology accepted.

Josee

Thank you.