Taylor quotes from Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race

Kelly

[in Icelandic] Vinsamlegast gefðu mér mina travel ábending.

Taylor

Wow, way to not ruin everything for a change. [Kelly takes the tip and runs off to the helicopter, ignoring her] Oh, my gosh, Mom, don't sulk. It was a compliment, hello?

Don

You're 7th! But you've earned a one-hour penalty. Please step aside.

Taylor

Wait, what?

Don

After getting the Icelandic sentence wrong, you were both supposed to go back through the geyser field, but only Kelly did.

Taylor

[groans in frustration] Way to go, Mom! I sat around waiting for you so long my butt fell asleep, and now we get a penalty? You ruined my life.

MacArthur

[reading the tip] It's a Botch or Watch.

Don

In this Botch or Watch, whoever didn't swim with sharks in the Mediterranean must try and perform a Brazilian write of passage, and stick their hand inside this mitt full of venomous bullet ants to retrieve their next travel tip. [throws a chicken piece in the mitt] This is insane!

Bullet ants?

Little known fact: the pain caused by their venom can last 24 hours.

[disappointed]: Oh, great.

Mickey

I've been bitten by venomous creatures so often, I've developed an immunity! Last year on a school trip to Seaville, a box jellyfish sat on my head like a hat! [He and Jay try to high five but they miss] We don't high five much, it's pretty new to us. [Jay accidentally smacks him and he bumps into Laurie, causing her face to fall into the mitt and get bitten by the ants] I am so sorry, Laurie!

Laurie

[slurred voice] No, no. I-I deserve that. [the other teams react in horror at Laurie’s swollen face] What? What's wrong?

Miles

Um, nothing. [takes the tip off Laurie's head] Okay. "Feeling divine? Then swing your butts to the coconuts."

Don

[swinging across the gorge on a vine, yelling like Tarzan] Teams must cross this gorge by any means necessary, and then search for their next tip, hidden in these piles of coconuts.

Laurie

Sounds good to me. Let's go!

Miles

Uh, okay, this way!

Called it! [sticks his hand in the mitt and screams as he gets bitten]

It's my turn to botch! [sticks his hand in the mitt and screams as he gets bitten while getting the tip]

MacArthur

[pushes Mickey out of the way] Hey, bullet ants, welcome to the gun show! WHOO-BOOM! [sticks her hand in the mitt and screams in pain as she gets bitten] Aah, they're on my person, they're on my person! [runs off with Sanders]

Pst. He was here first. It's his turn.

Taylor

[annoyed] Ugh. Fine, but I'm next.

Taylor

[blows the tip off the mitt] Doctors say my lung capacity is like so huge they can ever measure with my lung growers or whatever.

Kelly

When she was 5, she held her breath for seven minutes until we brought her the very expensive Malibu Bonnie doll house she wanted.

Taylor

It was totally ratchet, I played with it once, and threw it out.

Laurie

[screams] Ah, the wind hurts my face! [they slam into the other side of the gorge] Now the cliff hurts my face!

Don

In this All-In challenge, one team member has to make a headpiece, the other a tail, worthy of walking the parade during Carnival. When this local approves of their handy work, they'll get their next tip.

MacArthur

Piece of cake. [interview] I know how to make costumes. I went trick-or-treating as a beat cop for 10 years straight.

Sanders

Seriously? Every year?

MacArthur

Well, one time I mixed it up and went as a parole officer, so, yeah.

Don

The lady cops take the lead, and back at the bullet ants, teams from plane #1 are still botching-or-watching.

Geoff

[after getting both his hands bitten by the ants] I pump iron. So, once righty started swelling, I just had to switch to the left. Symmetry is what bodybuilding's all about.

Brody

Dude, your mitts are ripped!

Kelly

[to her daughter while grabbing onto a vine] Hop on, and hold on! DO IT!

Taylor

Mom, stop. You know screaming makes your neck waddle.

Ugh! This donkey reeks.

He said the same thing about you.

a talking donkey? Yeah, 'cause that's possible.

It must be possible. 'Cause you're talking right now. Booyah! Call me when you got a comeback.

Lorenzo is a poo-head!

Chet's a tool!

Junior

How old are those two?

Dwayne

Ah, never mind them. Some people just don't appreciate quality family time, eh, right, buddy?

Junior

Uh, yeah, mm, sure, dad.

Taylor

You're so lucky you got to bring your dad.

Dwayne

Oh, I'm the lucky one. I bet doing this trip with your mom is pretty awesome too though, right?

Taylor

Not really.

Kelly

Taylor's more of a… daddy's girl.

Taylor

Daddy and I have loads in common. Like, we both love being successful, and we both hate avocado.

Don

[to the Goths when they reach the Chill Zone] 10th... [then to the Rockers] 11th... [to Mom and Daughter] 12th place.

Kelly

Well, honey. It wasn't pretty, but--

Taylor

You need to step your game up, mother! For serious!

Kelly

We're a team, Taylor.

Taylor

I know you aren't used to winning, like me. But maybe you need to follow my example more, because--

Kelly

[snapping annoyingly] You've never won anything in your life, Taylor! Never! Not one race, not one medal, NOTHING!

Taylor

Wait, what?! My room is full of trophies and medals!

Kelly

Because your dad bought a trophy store! What kind of trophies come in the mail? And guess who paid your coaches to lie? Yep, daddy.

Taylor

Beauty pageants. I won beauty pageants! You can't fake those!

Kelly

[chuckles smugly] Oh, honey. When you have enough cash, you can fake anything.

Don

The coals were hot, but that was cold.

Mickey

H-h-how much longer is this flight?!

Taylor

We're still on the ground, you babies!

Kelly

[tired out] There. All done.

Taylor

Took long enough. [looks down and notices some bird poop on her boot; disgusted] EW! There's bird poop on my boot! Ugh. [wipes it off on her mother's sleeve] There. Totes better.

Kelly

[gasps in shock; sharped with anger] Do not treat me like a doormat!

Taylor

You were all sweaty and gross, anyway. Why should we both suffer? [Kelly pushes a lever, hoisting her up in midair, giving her a time-out; screams] Don't just stand there like an old mannequin, help me!

Kelly

No. I'm giving you a time-out.

Taylor

You can't do that, I'm your daughter.

Kelly

Well, that's how it works. I won't help until you apologize.

Taylor

You're in for a long wait.

Don

Kelly, Taylor, you're last to arrive, you're out of the race.

Kelly

Oh, I guess we should’ve checked in before shopping!

Taylor

Meh, it was fun while it lasted.

Kelly

I hope I never touch another camel, but I loved Paris. I can't believe how good your drawing was.

Taylor

I know, so good. I can't believe your upper body strength. I need to see your trainer like, yesterday.

Kelly

You know, it's funny. We entered this race to win more money. But we ended up getting something we actually needed.

Taylor

Speaking of which, if we're gonna shop more, I'll need you to double my allowance.

Kelly

Oh, Taylor, I'm canceling your allowance.

Taylor

Wait. What?