[grabs a tip from the Don box] It's a Botch or Watch. Whose turn is it?
JuniorYours. What's the challenge?
[reading] "Who Wants to Swim With…" [gasps in horror] SHARKS?!
In this Botch or Watch challenge, whoever didn't draw the caricature in Paris must swim to this part of the Mediterranean, and retrieve a travel tip from the dorsal fin of a great white sh- [screams as a shark pops out from the water; shaking his fist] Uh… Try that again, and you'll get a taste of this! Huh? Wanna dance with the widow-maker?
"Note: Eaten teammates will result in disqualification." Wow, they really thought of everything.
Junior
Vinsamlegast gefðu mer…
…mina travel asdenting. [the swan lady annoyingly slaps him in the face]
[Father & Son's interview; Dwayne is pressing an ice pack on his cheek]
Junior
[surprised] Whoa, what did you say?
Father & Son, you are the 8th team to arrive.
DJDwayne and Junior
Woo-hoo!
Junior
I knew something was wrong.
[sighs and pushes the fossil] Fine. Here you go.
No sharing. [to the Vegans] You'll have to try again.
[to Dwayne; threateningly outraged]: YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING OR I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS!!! [interview] I don't normally allow myself to experience negative emotions, but I'm sure my brain turns orange right now!
[interview] Not the first time I've never been cursed. Luckily, I don't believe it, so I think we're all good.
We'll never be able to reiki another fossil in time.
Then we'll have to… eat the feast.
He said the same thing about you.
a talking donkey? Yeah, 'cause that's possible.
It must be possible. 'Cause you're talking right now. Booyah! Call me when you got a comeback.
Junior
How old are those two?
Ah, never mind them. Some people just don't appreciate quality family time, eh, right, buddy?
Junior
Uh, yeah, mm, sure, dad.
You're so lucky you got to bring your dad.
Oh, I'm the lucky one. I bet doing this trip with your mom is pretty awesome too though, right?
Taylor's more of a… daddy's girl.
Daddy and I have loads in common. Like, we both love being successful, and we both hate avocado.
Africa. Wowzers! I've always wanted to go on a safari.
Junior
Yeah, this is seriously cool. I just wanna get up and see if--
Ah, ah, ah, you stay on that keister mister. Seats are for sitting.
[Father and Son's interview]
Junior
My dad still treats me like I'm 5. But I'm practically a man. Check out my chest hair.
Junior
Right there! I-I mean, it's blonde, so, you know, it's hard to see in this light.
Junior
It's there, trust me! [walks away angrily]
Junior
I am not a kid!
Junior
[humming a tune while laying back as another raft bumps in from behind, thinking it's his dad] I knew you were going to catch up-- [realizes it's the Daters/Haters instead] Oh. Uh, hey.
What's up, kid? Where's your dad?
Junior
We got separated. And the family rule is, if you get separated, go to your destination. Uh, do you mind if I tag along?
Oh-ho-ho. You don't wanna get in this boat. Stephanie might hit you with an oar and shove you off a cliff!
Are you still talking about that? "Ryan, Ryan, Ryan!" Get over it.
Junior
How did you guys manage to get a selfie? [Stephanie tosses him their camera] Wow. That's impressive.
Ha! You hear that? Impressive!
He doesn't know any better. He's just a child.
Junior
Actually, I've got a chest hair, so…
So he's already more of a man than you, Ryan.
While most of the other teams have already started the rhino challenge, our last place Ice Dancers have finally landed in Africa.
Out of our way, sky waitress! We're in a race!
[Meanwhile…]
Well, I only boss you around because you have no leadership skills, guts, or common sense.
Junior
So, uh, thanks for the lift.
Please, I saved us from elimination way more often than you have.
Junior
Uh, but I should go…
I must be. I was dating you!
Junior
Maybe find my dad…
Why do you have to remind me? I'd already blocked that out!
Junior
Anyway, you're not listening, so… [runs off alone leaving the Haters to continue their argument] Good luck… With everything. I don't like to judge, but those two probably shouldn't have kids.
JJJacques and Josee
[run and scream in terror]
I love rhinos! I love rhinos!
Junior! Oh, Buddy am I happy to see you. I’m sorry we didn’t finish the challenge, pal, but I- I couldn’t take pictures. I just have to find you!
Junior
Who said we didn’t finish?
JJJacques and Josee
Rhinos are my friend!
So proud of you. Now, we just need to make sure your mom never sees this episode, ever.
Junior
Alright, dad. That’s enough.
[reading the tip] "Stop in at Geelong maximum security."
Geelong Prison closed in 1991. But during its 146 years of operation, it was the most brutal and violent lockup on Earth. Now it's an extreme travel hot spot! As teams arrive, they'll be throw into cells. Each cell is equipped with four methods of escape: tunnels, trap doors, hidden tools, or bars. Once they break out of their cell, they're free to make their way to today's final Don box, here on the Barwon river. Boomerangs can only be used here. After they pass this point, the boomerang expires. And, as a special bonus treat…
Junior
[reading] "First team to today's Chill Zone gets to make a phone call home." Cool, we can call Mom.
Or better yet, order a pizza. [Junior points to the camera; clears throat] Eh, b-but of course, you know, I'm joking.
Junior
[hugging his father as they're eliminated] Thanks for this, Dad. I really appreciate it.
Oh, I can't be too obsessed. The race has really changed Junior and me. My son's going home a man.
Junior
And thanks to his new tattoo, my dad is going home a woman. [chuckles]
Yeah, I'm gonna grow a beard.
Junior
Probably for the best.
Hey, you wanna go home and binge-watch Total Drama Pahkitew Island?
Junior
Only if we can laugh until soda squirts out your nose.
Of course we can, son. Of course we can.
Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race · 242 quotes
