Noah quotes from Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race

Owen

[after swallowing a coconut in whole] It's okay! I got it down.

Noah

Great. Let's wait eight hours and see if there was a tip in that one. [pokes Owen in the stomach with a stick]

Owen

Ow. You got me right in the coconut. (Chuckles)

Jump time! You ready?

Noah

Hey, how hard can it be?

Noah

[panting] Hot! Hot! Hot!

I know it's a race, but don't be gross!

Noah

[mouth full] Sorry! Ah… I'm so sorry.

Carrie

That's my bucket!

[to Noah] Dude, you are so bad at this.

Don

I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings for each other. You're in first place, congratulations!

Stephanie

Whoo, we did it!

Ryan

Yes! Alright!

How's your hand?

Noah

It's fine. [holds up his swollen hand] This one not so much.

Oh, it's horrible! Come here.

Noah

[grabs and reads a tip] "All-In: Finish Spa Day. Teams have to sit the dry sauna…"

Owen

Awesome!

Noah

"…fully clothed at the highest heat for 10 minutes."

Owen

[with his shirt off and puts his pants back on; chuckles uncomfortably] Less awesome.

Don

Each spa hut has just enough room for two teams, and the 10-minute timer doesn't start until both teams have crammed inside.

Noah

"After the sauna, collect a tip from the next Don box by crossing the semi-frozen river."

Owen

[stepping out of the taxi] Cool! I wonder who's playing.

Noah

[grabs a tip from the Don box] Uh, we are.

Mickey

It's a Botch or Watch.

"Teams must battle it out in Finland's national sport, air guitar." Psh, air guitar? For real?!

Don

For very real. Performances will be judged by this applause meter. Get the crowd into a maximum frenzy, and teams can rock on over here to today's Chill Zone. Bottom out, and it's back to the end of the line to try, try again.

"Whoever didn't pull the rickshaw in Beijing must perform here."

Noah

Uh-oh.

Rock

Let’s save this farm, Whoohoo!

Sanders

Ah, yeah.

Noah

Aw!

Brody

Here, albino, bino, bino! Don’t worry, bud, well get those rabbits.

Jacques

Lapin! [gets attacked] Aaah! A little help?

Josee

Not now, I’m busy clearing. [MacArthur stares at her] They boomeranged us.

Jacques

We boomeranged them.

Josee

I want revenge!

Noah

We're gonna be in last place.

Owen

Oh, no. Chewy's drooling in his sleep. [gets Komodo drool in his eye] THE VENOM'S IN MY EYE! [farts, waking up the dragon; the dragon coughs and runs away; interview] Oh. I guess farting is a side effect of Komodo venom.

Noah

No, it isn't.

Owen

As reality shows go, that got as real as reality shows get.

Noah

Before it started, I didn't have a girlfriend and now I do, so, it's an easy favorite.

Owen

I mean, the million would've been nice, but winning isn't everything. Also, I already won a million.

Noah

And I'm dating a lawyer. So I'll never have to work again.

Owen

Oh-ho-ho. I'm sure Emma's gonna love to hear that. What reality show should we do next?

Noah

Didn't I tell you? We've been asked to do the next season of-- [static]