Marge Simpson quotes from The Simpsons

What's that comin' out of the safe?

I don't know--Maybe the Krusty doll accidentally turned on the car's headlights, which focused on the cologne bottle, causing it to boil and soon explode.

Dad, that's ridiculous!

[The safe blows apart from the explosion.]

What's the deal with this California pizza? If I wanted cheese and fruit--[As it burns from the flames and begins melting]--I'd...have...to...[Melts into a plastic puddle]

Marge

[Devastated when the family album falls apart into ashes] Nooooooo! It's gone! That family album was a record of my accomplishments! It's like what a resume is for a man.

I agree, Mom. It's very sad. But we'll have to move on. It's not like we can restage all our family photos.

Marge

[Becoming delighted upon the idea] Restage the photos!

Lisa you fool, you've doomed us all!

[Marge quickly puts a baby bonnet on him and snaps a shot with her camera as he cries out before she takes a second shot, which is among the first ones seen in the new family album.]

Nooooooo!

S18 Homerazzi

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Dad, why don't you throw me in the air and I can see which way is out? [he does] Corn. [again] More corn. [again] Another kid getting thrown in the air. [again] Witches' coven. [again] Seattle Space Needle. [again] Amateur production of You Can't Take It With You. [again] Oh, I'm getting dizzy. [again] And corn again.

[turns red in anger] Why, you little-- [strangles Bart] I'll teach you to trick your sister! [grunting while strangling Bart then being constricted by Strangles and changes color]

Marge

Homer, can you breathe?

Well, I can breathe out okay. [now really struggling to breathe] Don't give snake attention. It’s what he really-[turns red and falls to the ground] I'm okay!

S18 Stop, or My Dog Will Shoot!

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Marge

Oh hi kids, you're just in time to go to the dentist!

DENTIST?! You said we were going to ride dirt bikes around the cemetery!

Oh, Bart, you fall for that every six months.

[Pulls up on a dirt bike] Hey, suckers, check it out -- Marge is taking me to ride dirt bikes at the cemetery!

You're going to the dentist too, Dad.

[disappointed] Why the cemetery, I wondered? But my dreams were too strong...

S18 You Kent Always Say What You Want

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Marge

What are you doing? You don't know how to fly a plane!

I once drove a car off a cliff. How hard can it be? Hmm..., what's the ocean doing in the sky?

S19 He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs

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There must be a website that can help you deal with a clingy baby.

Marge

Oh, I don’t want to bother the internet with my problem.

Aw, come on, Mom. We’ll help you surf.

[Marge sits down at the computer, grabs the mouse and starts clicking away]

Click that one, Mom.

No, go up.

Keep going--up, up, up!

The blue ones are ads.

That’s the toolbar.

No you’ve opened Word; close it!

Close it. Do-don’t save it!

Stop clicking.

Don’t go there!

Why are you buying a freezer?!

Don’t click the cart or you’ve bought it!

Aw, you clicked the cart!

Marge

[Upset] If you’re so smart, you do it!

[Bart pushes one button and finds a baby website]

Marge

[Groans]

S19 Midnight Towboy

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Marge

Bart, I'm starting to worry about your father.

Well, I know he seems to get dumber every year, but lately he's plateaued.

Oh, my God multiple parking tickets, handicapped spot, parked by a hydrant, incomprehensible vanity plate. If my life as a tow truck driver was a teleplay, this would be the end of act 2.

LLouie

I thought I told you to stay off my turf.

What? I'm still in Springfield. Wha...?! Okay, I made a mistake. Why don't you give me two demerit points in a point system we work out right now? Put me down, you lousy-- Okay, I'm warning you--I'll kill you, you son of a...--All right buddy, that's it, I've had-- You... let go! All right, Just... let... go. Oh, a trap door. What's down there? Your Meatball collection?

LLouie

Goodbye