“Homerazzi” · Season 18
In this episode: Homer Simpson (5), Marge Simpson (3), Lisa Simpson (2), Bart Simpson (1)
[looking through Homer's photos] Terrific! Outstanding! This has Page One written all over it! What the hell did you do that for?
[he holds up a photograph with "Page One" written all over it in ink]
I wanted to remember my place in the book I was reading.
[after fire caused by birthday candle] This disasterette was a real wake up call, we need to find a way to protect our irreplaceables.
You could buy a fire-proof safe.
Or we could just resolve to be more careful with our open flames.
Sir we've been here six times this month.
Yeah but, uhm, one of those I dialed 911 by mistake but I was too embarrassed to admit it, so I set the house on fire. Feels good to tell the truth... no I'm lying again it feels bad.
[while taking a shower by a fire hydrant] Can't you see I have privacy?
[the day after, looking at "Mrs. Mom" movie poster, which has a picture of Rainier Wolfcastle] Well, at least it got made.
[Homer jumps out of an airplane to get to Ranier Wolfcastle's wedding.]
Did I attach the harness!?
No!
What's that comin' out of the safe?
I don't know--Maybe the Krusty doll accidentally turned on the car's headlights, which focused on the cologne bottle, causing it to boil and soon explode.
Dad, that's ridiculous!
[The safe blows apart from the explosion.]
What's the deal with this California pizza? If I wanted cheese and fruit--[As it burns from the flames and begins melting]--I'd...have...to...[Melts into a plastic puddle]
[Devastated when the family album falls apart into ashes] Nooooooo! It's gone! That family album was a record of my accomplishments! It's like what a resume is for a man.
I agree, Mom. It's very sad. But we'll have to move on. It's not like we can restage all our family photos.
[Becoming delighted upon the idea] Restage the photos!
Lisa you fool, you've doomed us all!
[Marge quickly puts a baby bonnet on him and snaps a shot with her camera as he cries out before she takes a second shot, which is among the first ones seen in the new family album.]
Nooooooo!
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