Oh, you mean for your chicken costumes?
[holding and eating popcorn] Hey, we are not chicken! [drops his popcorn] Huh! My popcorn! [begins pecking at it like a chicken]
Yeah, we're not chicken, we'll do it. [looks at the water's surface and pokes his finger above the water] There! Mission accomplished!
Look, unless you can stay above water for one measly minute, you forfeit the contest and prove that land creatures are better than sea creatures!
No way, San-day. We can take on your challenge.
Wait, boy! [gives him a glass of water] Make it last.
[drinks from it] Thanks, Mr. Krabs. Okay. Here I go! [the scene changes to live action as he gasps out of the water. He is now a real yellow kitchen sponge on a stick] Hey, this isn't so bad! We can do this! Hey, Patrick, come on up! The air is fine!
I'm gonna do it quick and get it over with. Cannonball! [jumps out of the water. He is now a real pink starfish, missing his trunks, on a stick] Hey, I lost my trunks! Hi, SpongeBob!
All right, Pat! You made it! Come on up, Mr. Krabs! Up here!
All ashore that's going ashore, Mr. Squidward! Land ho! [runs up. He is a red rubber toy crab on a stick]
Come on, Squidward! You're missing all the dry. Come on, Squidward!
AAll
[chanting] Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!
Well, l'll do it, but I won’t like it. [walks up. He is a puppet octopus with his eyes and big nose. All stop chanting] What?
Well, here we are! [all four are walking on the island]
I may keep a second rock up here!
Once you get your land legs, it's not so bad!
We're the masters of land and sea! [a string puppet seagull lands in front of him] Hey, it's a local. Hi! We're from underwater! Do you know Sandy Cheeks? [the seagull looks at screen]
Three, two, one. Well, tan my fur! They made it! Better go congratulate them! [walks onto the island. She is now a real plush squirrel toy with a small, round plastic helmet on her head] SpongeBob? Patrick? Hmm, where do those critters get to? [sees the seagulls attacking all four of them; one of them is trying to eat Patrick, while the other is chasing SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward] [gasps] Holy guacamole! You can't eat my friends, you rats with wings! Hiyah! [attacks the birds offscreen and feathers start flying. All five sink back down to the seabed, with Squidward upside-down]
Uh, thanks for saving us, Sandy.
You know, everyone's best at things.
But no one's best at everything. Sorry I made you take off your helmet, Sandy.
Sorry I made you go up on dry land, SpongeBob.
Three cheers for feeling sorry for us! Hip hip...
SSeagulls
[lying injured on the island with their feathers missing] Hooray!
ZWZoo Worker 1
What's wrong with Clamu?
JJoe
Easy, girl! It's me, Joe! Remember?
[Clamu snarls as if it sounds like a belch and uses her tongue to throw Joe out of Oyster Stadium. Patrick and a nervous SpongeBob wait at the stands]
[Outside...]
AAnnouncer
Attention, zoo patrons! Clamu, the giant oyster is on an emotional rampage! Please scream and run around in circles. [everybody does that] Thanks for coming.
[In the stadium, Clamu is still smashing things and making snarling belch noises. The zoo worker goes up to SpongeBob and Patrick]
ZWZoo Worker 1
You boys better get out of this area, pronto! There's nothing more dangerous than an emotionalm ppppply disturbed oyster. [points at SpongeBob] You didn't do anything that might have caused this horrible tragedy, did you?
No way! Only a jerk would upset a gentle giant. Right, SpongeBob?
[hides the peanut bag] Right. [lets out a nervous shriek]
[Clamu chomps on a piece of metal. Cut to Patrick and SpongeBob leaving the zoo]
If I saw that guy, I'd have a few choice words for him. Like "you" and "are", and..."a jerk"!
ZWZoo Worker 1
Mr. Krabs has stolen a very important item from the oyster. [rips off Mr. Krabs' clothes by accident] Behold! [the crowd gets disgusted] Wait a minute... [reveals Clamu's pearl] Behold! The oyster's pearl! [the crowd gasps in shock; the zoo worker then gives the pearl to Clamu] Here you go, girl.
[Clamu sniffs her pearl and the crowd cheers. But suddenly, the pearl starts to crack. And to everyone's amazement, it hatches into a baby oyster]
BOBaby Oyster
Mama. Mama.
Mother of pearl! The oyster's a mother! And that pearl's no pearl, it's an egg!
[The baby oyster and Clamu embrace each other]
AAll
Awww... [they glare at Mr. Krabs]
[The crowd boos as they throw peanuts at Mr. Krabs, burying him, thus ending the episode]
[SpongeBob, in his attempt to get Gary to bathe, tries hypnotizing him]
I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages. [images of a bathtub, a shower, a bar of soap, and then a picture of a girl with pigtails and crooked teeth appear] [walking away] Sorry you had to see that.
[Cut to the morning where Mr. Krabs walks to work crying, and SpongeBob walks in laughing.]
Takin' him to the cleaners! That's a hot one! [Mr. Krabs leans against the Krusty Krab doors] How'd the card game go last night, Mr. Krabs?
Barnacles, Mr. Krabs! How much money did ya lose?
I didn't lose any money. [sheds away a tear] I lost...
Don't tell me you lost the Krusty Krab!
I lost... [SpongeBob grabs him]
Mr. Krabs, please tell me you didn't lose the... Krabby Patty secret formula!
I... lost... [points to SpongeBob] YOU!
I bet your contract, and I lost.
[stares blankly, then laughs] Good one, Mr. Krabs. Well, I gotta go make those Krabby Patties. [begins to walk to the door, but Mr. Krabs' claw stops him. After continually walking and getting nowhere, he falls to the floor]
I'm afraid... you don't work here anymore.
[runs out the door to the two] Please tell me this isn't a joke.
Go on, Mr. Krabs. Tell him. Tell him all about your cruel, sick joke.
[walks over] As much as I love cruel, sick jokes, I'm afraid he's not joking. [points at SpongeBob] You work for me now, SpongeBob. [whips out a bucket with the initials "CB" on it] Time to put on the official Chum Bucket bucket helmet. [jumps onto SpongeBob's head, kicks off the Krusty Krew hat and puts the bucket on his head. SpongeBob screams and runs to Mr. Krabs while knocking Plankton and the bucket off his head]
But Mr. Krabs, I don't wanna work for him! [tugs at Krabs' shirt collar] I wanna work for you, here at the Krusty Krab! [he and Krabs start crying loudly and hug]
I'm sorry, boy! It's all my fault!
[pretending to sound genuinely sad] What kind of cold, heartless person would break apart such a loving relationship? [whips out a crowbar] I would! [jumps up and uses the crowbar to pry SpongeBob off Krabs. SpongeBob goes flying with Mr. Krabs' arms still clung to him]
Mr. Krabs! [slams into a cage and Krabs' arms fly off him. Plankton walks over and shuts the door]
This is your greatest blunder, Krabs. For fifteen years, I've been throwin' those card games just waitin' for you to slip up. I may not have the precious Krabby Patty formula, but I've got the next best thing: the guy who makes 'em! [a propeller emerges from the cage] I'm gonna run you out of business, Krabs. [the propeller spins and pilots SpongeBob into the Chum Bucket]
SpongeBob! [cries and then stops] Can I have my arms back? [Plankton walks over and throws the arms on Krabs' head.]
What is he doing? All these tears... and the showtunes? Why isn't he making the patties? Forget it. I'm going with plan B, I'll put his brain in the robot chef.
You know that never works! The answer is obvious: to get to the SpongeBob, you must show him compassion and understanding, then he'll give you what you want.
Will you be quiet? I'm thinking! I've got it! To get to the SpongeBob, I'll show him compassion and understanding, then he'll give me what I want.
