Flying Dutchman quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants ... TV Quotes Database

Played by Brian Doyle-Murray

In 10 of the 1,068 quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants
Most scenes with: Abrasive SpongeBob (7), Squidward (3), Mr. Krabs (3)

Lines by Flying Dutchman 1

Flying Dutchman

Try saying that one three times fast.

S5 Money Talks

View quote →

Scenes with Flying Dutchman 9

Dutchman

I’ve been thinkin'. [they both stop] This whole crew for eternity thing isn't working out...It's not really you so much as it is me.

SpongeBob

You're setting us free?

Dutchman

Well actually, I'm just gonna eat you. See you at dinner. [leaves]

S2 Shanghaied

View quote →

SpongeBob

Wait just a burger-flipping second!

The Flying Dutchman

[turns around angrily] Who dares back-sass the Flying Dutchman?!?!

SpongeBob

That would be me: SpongeBob BacksassPants. I say you got the wrong crab. This Mr. Krabs is the most generous, big-hearted, non-skinflinted crab in the whole sea. [While SpongeBob speaks, Mr. Krabs is happy at SpongeBob's words]

The Flying Dutchman

He'd sell your soul for a couple of bucks.

SpongeBob

I'd bet my soul he wouldn't.

The Flying Dutchman

You got yourself a bet. [to Mr. Krabs] Okay, Krabs, I'll let you stay, but first, help me settle a bet. If you had to choose between SpongeBob and all the money I have in my pocket, which would you take?

KMr. Krabs

That depends. How much money we talking about?

SpongeBob

Mr. Krabs!

The Flying Dutchman

[shows some coins] 62 cents.

KMr. Krabs

I'll take the money.

SpongeBob

MR. KRABS!!!!!

The Flying Dutchman

Here you go, Krabs. 62 cents. [hands him the change and picks up SpongeBob] Next stop: Davy Jones' locker! [SpongeBob screams as they both disappear]

KMr. Krabs

[runs to Squidward, happy] Look, Squidward, money!

Squidward

Mr. Krabs, I can't believe I'm saying this, but how could you trade SpongeBob for 62 cents!!??

KMr. Krabs

You think I could've gotten more?

Squidward

He stuck up for you, and you sold him out. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!!

S3 Born Again Krabs

View quote →

Flying Dutchman

[green fog passes by his ship while he steers his ship] Curse this cursed, ghostly fog. I can barely see past me own nose. [gas is sprayed in his eyes] Urrgh! [screams after noticing the unseen cliff, only seen seconds after; then the ship is split in half after it runs into a cliff. The Flying Dutchman falls down the cliff, falling through a basketball hoop before hitting the ground; the ship falls onto of him into pieces then he crawls out] Me ship. [his ship turns into dust. His hat floats gently down, and he picks it up. He then gets out his cell phone to dial the Roadside Assistance] Hello, Roadside Assistance? I've got a bit of a flat! My location where I'll be staying? Business or residence? [sees SpongeBob go into his house] Residence.

Flying Dutchman

I'm stuck here while me ship is being repaired. 'Til then, I'm here to haunt ya!

SpongeBob

It's okay, Gary.

S4 Ghost Host

View quote →

SpongeBob

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no! [furiously opens the door] Everyone, get out!

Flying Dutchman

All righty, boys. Party's over. Time to scoot, honey.

S4 Ghost Host

View quote →

SpongeBob

[runs out of Squidward's closet] Dutchie, it worked! You got your scare back.

Flying Dutchman

And me confidence, too. Now I feel like I can scare the living criminy out of anybody! All thanks to you, my boy.

SpongeBob

And, maybe your ship will be repaired soon.

Flying Dutchman

Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob. My ship's been done for 3 months now. Well, it was nice roomin' with ya. [flies back up to his ship] Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I left you a little something for all your trouble. Now, it's time for me to ruin more souls. [ships sails off]

SpongeBob

[opens the package; a hand grabs him, eats him, and belches] Hahaha! Good Ol' Dutchie.

S4 Ghost Host

View quote →

KMr. Krabs

Me gold!

PLord Poltergeist

You mean "my" gold.

SpongeBob

Hey, that's funny. [lifts up treasure chest] Hmm, this chest says it belongs to the Flying Dutchman.

Sandy

[to Lord Poltergeist] The Flying Dutchman? You ain't afraid he's gonna want it back?

PLord Poltergeist

Nah, nah. We used to be part of the Dutchman's crew. We stole his gold hundreds of years ago. But the Dutchman hasn't found us yet. And he never will. [cannonball breaks the doors of Lord Poltergeist's ship]

Flying Dutchman

[offscreen] Avast!

S8 E10 Ghoul Fools

View quote →

[SpongeBob laughs as the cart falls through the floor. The Flying Dutchman leans over to hear. SpongeBob's laughter hits him hard again]

Flying Dutchman

How can he still be laughing? I've never been so humiliated. I got to do something here.

SpongeBob

Boy, Patrick, I wish all our friends could be here. They'd love this place! [laughs]

Flying Dutchman

Friends! He's got friends. That's it! I know how to scare this guy. [laughs evilly as he unleashes his ghostly mist down from his ship into Bikini Bottom]

Sandy

[gives candy to several trick-or-treaters] Happy Halloween! [the ghostly mist surrounds her and takes her soul from her body] What in Fort Worth...?

[Several trick-or-treaters run up to Mr. Krabs and Squidward, who are handing out candy]

TOTrick-Or-Treaters

Trick or treat!

[Suddenly, the Flying Dutchman's ghostly mist surrounds them and takes their souls from their bodies]

Squidward

Huh? Oh! [screams]

[The souls of Sandy, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward are being lifted in the air by the ghostly mist]

KMr. Krabs

Hey!

[The trick-or-treaters laugh and throw eggs and toilet paper at Squidward and Mr. Krabs' motionless bodies. Mr. Krabs growls in anger. Back inside the Flying Dutchman's ship, SpongeBob and Patrick are still riding the cart. Patrick is still afraid while SpongeBob continues to laugh, still thinking it's funny. SpongeBob stops laughing and sighs]

Sandy

[her soul is in one of the Flying Dutchman's cages] SpongeBob! Patrick! Help me!!!

SpongeBob

[laughs] That almost looks like Sandy! [laughs]

KMr. Krabs

[his and Plankton's souls are in two of the Flying Dutchman's cages] SpongeBob!

PPlankton

Patrick!

Squidward

[his soul and Gary's are in two other cages] Help us!!!

Gary

[forlornly] Meow, meow!

SpongeBob

[laughs] That almost looked like Mr. Krabs and Squidward and Gary and Plankton! [giggles] Funny! Oh, Patrick, this is hysterical! [laughs] Why aren't you laughing? [giggles until he notices Patrick's motionless body] Patrick, what's wrong with you?

Patrick

[his soul suddenly appears in one of the Flying Dutchman's cages] Help me, SpongeBob! My body's butt itches!

SpongeBob

Patrick, is this really happening? Hey, this isn't funny.

Patrick

I was wrong, SpongeBob. Sometimes, scary equals scary!

SpongeBob

[screams at Patrick's motionless body] Hm? [pulls out his chalkboard, erases the word "funny," and replaces it with "AHHH!"] Yup. I got the same answer. Scary equals "AHHHHH!!!".

Flying Dutchman

Success! I knew that would get him!

[SpongeBob is finally convinced that scary doesn't equal funny at all and screams in terror. His skeleton tears itself out of his body and runs off. SpongeBob's skin and skeleton run out of the ship. SpongeBob's skeleton and skin fall to the ground and attempt to run]

SSSpongeBob's Skeleton

That's the scariest thing I ever saw in my life!

SSSpongeBob's Skin

Me too! But we gotta go back.

SSSpongeBob's Skeleton

Go back?! Are you nuts?!

SSSpongeBob's Skin

Show a little backbone! We gotta save our friends!

SSSpongeBob's Skeleton

Oh, you're right, but I'm still scared. Will you hold my hand?

SSSpongeBob's Skin

Deal! [they both go back together and SpongeBob heads back to rescue his friends]

S11 E5 The Legend of Boo-kini Bottom

View quote →

[Plankton floats into Squidward's bed and possesses it like a puppet. The bed turns green and the box spring turns into Plankton's head. Plankton's eye appears about Squidward. Plankton shakes the bed and chuckles evilly as Squidward begins to wake up.]

Squidward

[screams] Who's there? Ohh, is that you, SpongeBob? [gets up and gets drenched on by green ectoplasm]

[Squidward removes his blindfold and becomes freaked out by the ectoplasm. Suddenly, the box spring forms into a giant mouth and makes an evil laugh. Squidward becomes so scared that his skin turned white. He tries to escape, but Plankton pulled him under the covers. Squidward releases himself from the covers and hides in the drawers.]

The Flying Dutchman

[writing down on his clipboard] Oooh. Monster mouth with a bucket of ghost goo—very good marks. [chuckles] Nice haunt, swabby!

Squidward

[comes out of the drawer with his clarinet and pants heavily] Oh, what a terrible nightmare. Oh, thanks for being here, Clarry. You'll keep the monsters away. [inhales and blows horrible music out through his clarinet]

[Squidward's clarinet playing drives Plankton and the Flying Dutchman crazy. Plankton floats over to Squidward and grabs the clarinet.]

PPlankton

Give me that!

Squidward

Clarry!

[Squidward and Plankton get into a tug-o-war with the clarinet. Plankton turns into a ghostly SpongeBob and scares Squidward, whose eyes pop out and scream. Squidward runs out of the drawers and gets hit in the head when he crashed into the ceiling. Squidward falls down to the floor and is knocked out unconscious. Plankton throws the clarinet away and changes back.]

PPlankton

Hey, I picked something up! I can pick things up! [picks up a vase and drops it]

The Flying Dutchman

Look at you. You skipped ahead to the last lesson! [pulls out a mallet]

PPlankton

It's okay. You don't have to— [gets hit by the mallet]

S12 The Ghost of Plankton

View quote →

Sandy

Let me try a little... [shakes the ball hard] Hmm. Or maybe some of this. [gnaws on the ball, then sets it down] Well, that didn't work. [bangs head] Come on, brain! [fade into her brain, Brain Sandy dances around like a chicken, clucks, snaps fingers] That's it! I need to use good old farm science on this one! [clucks, covers the Dutchman's ball with her tail]

Dutchman

Hey, what are you doing? Ow! [egg timer clicking, bell dings and the ball hatches] Hey! You hatched me good! [realizes] Wait a minute. I'm still tiny. [angry] What gives, Sandy?

S13 Sandy, Help Us!

View quote →