I put the brain in the robot, you know. You shouldn't have been a spoiled brat. You see, I always get what I want. And I want you to make me a Krabby Patty!
RSRobot SpongeBob
[turning on] Bee-beep-doodle-le-dee-doo... RESPONSE - WHY DON'T YOU ASK ME LATER?
RSRobot SpongeBob
GET WELDED.
WAIT! I COMMAND YOU MAKE ME A KRABBY PATTY!
RSRobot SpongeBob
[while reading some comics and takes a drink from his soda] I DON'T WANNA.
[Plankton yells loudest out of madness and decides to give up]
[SpongeBob draws a jellyfish in the ground with the giant pencil]
Pretty good, SpongeBob, but its lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
Huh! Everybody's a critic.
[notices the jellyfish drawing is coming to life] SpongeBob! Your drawing's coming to life!
[oblivious] Now, that's more like it, Mr. Critic!
[pointing to the jellyfish] No, I mean it's swimming away!
Do you know what this means, Patrick?
Your art can never hang in a museum.
[SpongeBob and Patrick fell into a hole drawn by DoodleBob]
DDoodleBob
[speaking gibberish] Me, hoy minoy! Neyoyoyminoy, ladyonmamoy!
Come on, Patrick! Give me a boost up!
Can't we just stay down here where it's safe?..
No way. I created this monster and I've got to stop him.
[A wrench drawn by DoodleBob falls on Patrick's head, making him dizzy]
See what I mean, Patrick?
[dazed] Where's the leak, ma'am?
[Both try to climb up the hole, but they watch DoodleBob as he draws a bowling ball from a rock. He rolls it at Patrick, whose head turns into a bowling pin in shock] YAAAAAH...! [the bowling ball hits Patrick, transforming him into several pins. A "strike" symbol appears. The ball later rolls into the hole, hitting Patrick again. Another "strike" symbol appears for a double]
Hey, SpongeBob, what's with all the ruckus?
Take a look for yourself, Patrick.
[Patrick sees the picture of DoodleBob on the wall and gasps]
No, no, not evil. He was just a two-dimensional creature lost in our three-dimensional aquatic world longing for a purpose.
Exactly! See how happy he is?
He still looks kind of creepy.
[on a diving board with the pencil] Oh, great Magic Pencil, your powers are too mighty for us ocean dwellers. So I will send you back to the magic kingdom from where you came. Are you ready, Patrick?
[SpongeBob drops the pencil into Patrick's mouth. SpongeBob jumps from the diving board and onto Patrick's belly, launching the pencil out of his mouth and back up to the surface. In the real world, the artist from earlier is curled up in a fetal position]
We rejoin the artist in a creative slump.
AArtist
[the pencil reaches the surface and lands on him] Huh, what's... what's this? [jumps up and holds his pencil in joy] My pencil! [tries to draw, but unfortunately, the pencil lead breaks]
The second most important rule for the artist at sea: Always bring a pencil sharpener.
AArtist
[starts to cry] No!
[The episode begins at Squidward's house. Music is heard, which turns out to be Squidward playing his clarinet, until the doorbell rings. The snail doctor is at the door with Incidental 26.]
SDSnail doctor
Yeah, uh, we're with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises.
[Squidward slams the door shut. The phone rings, and Squidward picks up.]
Hello, you've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the... [plays a note on his clarinet]
SFSquilliam Fancyson
Sounds as though you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh, old chum?
[gasps] Squilliam Fancyson from band class?!
[The episode begins at night at the Krusty Krab. It's closing time.]
Ah, the Krusty Krab. Bikini Bottom's premiere daytime eatery. Where it will be closing time right about...
[switches the "Open" sign to "Closed"] Now! 8 o'clock! [takes off his Krusty Krab uniform hat] So long, suckers! I've got a hot date with a little lady, and her name is [pulls out his clarinet] Clarinet. [Tom shows up at the door and knocks on it, causing Squidward to drop his clarinet] What?
[points to the sign] Read the sign.
[ignores him] I'll have a Krabby Patty Deluxe and a double chili kelp fries.
No, you won't. I can't hang out here all night! I've got a life!
Well, fine, if you don't want my money!
Money?! [Mr. Krabs falls from the ceiling on top of Squidward] You mean, if we stayed open later, you'd give us your money?
[pulls out cash; Incidental 49, Incidental 30, and Incidental 85 appear behind him] Sure.
Mr. Squidward, [tears up the "Closed" sign] welcome to the night shift. From now on, [he puts a spare Krusty Krab uniform hat on Squidward's head] the Krusty Krab is open 24 hours a day.
[gets up] What?! [crowd of fish barge in cheering and tramples Squidward]
[gasps] Wow! Now we never have to stop working!
[gets up again] Mr. Krabs.
See ya in the mornin', boys! I can't hang out here all night! I've got a life. [leaves]
Isn't this great Squidward? Just you and me together for hours and hours and hours, and then the sun'll come up, and it'll be tomorrow, and we'll still be working. It'll be just like a sleepover! Only we'll be sweaty and we'll be covered with grease! [jumps on cash register counter] Are you ready to rock, Squidward?!
Good! 'Cause we've got customers!
[hands a customer a baseball bat] Here. Please hit me as hard as you can.
Psst, Squidward. I'm working in the kitchen... [laughs] at night.
[takes hat off; leans head on counter] Don't hold back.
[cuts to SpongeBob in kitchen] Hey Squidward. Guess what, I'm chopping lettuce... at night. [cuts to SpongeBob in the bathroom wiping it clean with himself] Look at me, I'm swabbing the bathroom... at night. [cuts to SpongeBob at the grill picking up spatula, misses the spatula and hits the grill] Ow! I burned my hand! At night. [cuts to SpongeBob walking on the counter] Night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, night, na-na-na-night-na-night! NIGHT!
WILL YOU PLEASE?! [hands SpongeBob a bag of garbage] Here, give me a moment's peace and take out the trash.
Open 24 hours a day, what a stupid idea. Who wants a Krabby Patty at 3 in the morning?
[Cuts to Patrick in bed; his alarm clock rings, and he wakes up]
Oh, boy! 3:00 AM! [eats a Krabby Patty]
RRichard
Can I have a job application? I brought my own spatula. [holds up spatula] I called here earlier but I hung up 'cause I was nervous.
When was you on the phone, and you on the bus, then who was flickering the lights?
SSSquidward, SpongeBob, and Richard
[they look at Nosferatu] Nosferatu! [Nosferatu smiles, and the lights go off while ending the episode]
Hey, that's my driving teacher, Mrs. Puff!
Mrs. Puff? [disappointed] Aww, she's married...
Oh, no, Mr. Krabs. She's single.
Then, what happened to Mr. Puff?
[cut to a live-action shot of a pufferfish, being used as a lamp]
She doesn't like to talk about it.
SpongeBob! I'm glad I caught ya. I want ya to buy Mrs. Puff--
[holds up his arms] Wait! Don't tell me! You want me to run down to the store, and buy Mrs. Puff something she doesn't need! Then you want me to RUN back here, [flails his legs back and forth] so you can say, [pulls his eyes through the top of his head so they look like Krabs' eyes and mimics Krabs' voice] "Arrgh, SpongeBob, you're spending' all me money!" And then I'll say, "But Mr. Krabs! I'm only doing WHAT YOU SAID!" Then you'll say, "We're not talkin' about this [draws a triangle with dashed lines in the air with his finger], or THIS [draws a square with dashed lines], we're talkin' about THIIIIIIIS!" [draws a ton of directionless squiggly lines; pants]
But, lad, this time's different! Mrs. Puff needs this!
[surrounded by all the nice gifts Krabs had SpongeBob buy her] Are we... going to the park soon?
Please, lad, I'm beggin' ya! I'm a lonely old crustacean who's found love! Don't let me lose her! [Starts to cry]
Mr. Krabs, don't. Don't cry, Mr. Krabs! Come on. Okay, I, I'm gonna get it, see? [Walks off-screen, and comes back with a washing machine] Cheer up, Mr. Krabs, Here's that washing machine you wanted.
Cheer up? How can I cheer up... when you're spendin' all me hard-earned cash?!
See? You just did it again!
Lad, I can't help it if you're loose with other people's money! [SpongeBob gets a blank expression on his face] Do you think Mrs. Puff will need a dryer to go along with that?
[stoically] Well, Mr. Krabs, do you wanna know what I think? [cut to Mrs. Puff] ARRGH...!! REGGA FLEBBA BREEKA BRECKA SMULLEN-ELLEN MR. KRABS!!! YEGGA HEGGA MERGIN WALLET!!! DIMMY MIDDY SPEND!!! RIVY FLIVY DIVA SHIVA MR. KRABS’ WALLET!!!!!
[Mrs. Puff reads what he said in a dictionary; SpongeBob marches past her grumbling in anger as Mr. Krabs is left smack-jawed.]
I didn't know SpongeBob had such a colorful vocabulary. Actually, there's something I'd like to say, too Mr. Krabs. [she kicks off her shoes] I'm afraid I just don't feel comfortable accepting all these gifts. [she removes her hat and coat] I'd rather go Dutch...if you don't mind. [She pulls out her wallet and gives Mr. Krabs some money]
You're a very sweet man, Mr. Krabs.
[She kisses his left eye and both eyes form the shape of a heart as the episode ends].
[SpongeBob's clock spins, breaks and comes to life]
CClock
[ghostly voice] Time's up, SpongeBob...
[SpongeBob gasps and shrieks as the flame of the candle comes to life. The fire wick walks up to the essay and picks it up]
FWFire wick
Only 799 words to go... [burns the paper and laughs sinisterly]
No! [the fire wick sets his house on fire. He screams] What have I done?! [runs around the house, yelling] Help! Help! My house is on fire! [continues running around his burning house until it comes to life]
SSSpongeBob's house
SpongeBob, why?! Why did you set me on fire, SpongeBob?! Why don't you just write your essay?! [wailing] STOP WASTING TIME!!!
[The scene suddenly changes back to SpongeBob's desk, revealing he fell asleep and had an episode-long nightmare before waking up with a start, pencil and paper stuck to his face.]
Huh?! [gets his pencil off] Where's my essay? [sees it on his forehead] Oh, there you are. Hahaha...I must've dozed off!
But don't they watch television?
I'm only pretending to be dumb. It was our plan, remember?
[puts on the helmet] And don't worry, I'll keep this warm for ya.
[puts his left thumb up] It wasn't easy, Dad.
MMarty
Oh, that's right, honey. We don't have a son.
[speaks into microphone] Attention, customers, today's special is a [dolphin chirp] Krabby Patty served in a greasy [dolphin chirp] sauce and grilled to [dolphin chirp] perfection. [One customer drops his patty. Another is so shocked even the food he's chewing freezes midair. A mother octopus covers her laughing children's ears] And don't forget to ask us to [dolphin chirp] the [dolphin chirp] fries. It will be our [dolphin chirp] pleasure. [a giant human ear pops out of Squidward's head; he pushes it back in] Hi, Squidward, how the [dolphin chirp] are ya?
Nice [dolphin chirp] day we're having, isn't it, Squidward?
