[The episode begins with many customers at the Krusty Krab while Squidward is awakened from his normal nap when Mr. Krabs makes an announcement.]
Listen up, crew, I have an announcement. Bikini Bottom's newest sports stadium will officially be named after this restaurant!
"The Krusty Krab Stadium." Wow!
Paying for the naming rights, will make me millions!
[grabs a foam hand and a pennant] Opening day is today! Tailgate party! [running past Mr. Krabs]
[he pulls SpongeBob back] Not for you! Your tails have to stay here and pay me back some of that money I spent.
[grabs a green foam hat] Hurray for Mr. Krabs!
While I'm gone, Squidward mans the helm. [leaves the restaurant]
CHCharlton Hawkfish
This is what you get when so-called fish kind in all its hubris and ignorance stoop so low... [points to Mr. Krabs and Crupski] ...as to cut corners in its plumbing system! Extinction is the result of being cheap!
What a bunch of malarkey.
CHCharlton Hawkfish
At least we didn't waken the great sewer snake. [sees the sewer snake behind him as he looks up] Check that.
[All of the customers run out of the stadium upon seeing the sewer snake, but Charlton does not go back down. He throws the axe, pulls up he sleeves, and runs heroically towards the snake. However, he has an idea on how to defeat it. He points to his nose.]
SSSewer Snake
[with a squeaky voice] Uh-oh.
[Charlton pokes the snake with his pointy nose and the snake yelps and flies around like a balloon and falls back through the hole and into the sewers. Back at the Krusty Krab, the toilet erupts with water and floods the restroom. The water bursts out of the restroom with the safe covered in filth. The safe is opened by Squidward who along with SpongeBob are covered in sewage.]
Hey, everybody. The cook's back from the toilet.
[All customers then burst out from the Krusty Krab, screaming and freaking out, as the episode ends.]
I don't get it. We have been staring at this table for three hours. That table could use a cleaning.
Shh! Some people are trying to enjoy le cinema.
Oh! Hey Squidward! Hey, do you understand what this movie is about?
Nobody does, it's art, now sit down!
Are you remembering to flip the patties clockwise? It's very important because the heat..
[really loud] PLEASE SIT DOWN!
MTMovie Theater Attendant
[shines a flashlight in Squidward's face] I'm sorry sir, you're being too loud. I am going to have to ask you to leave.
[grumbling as he is walking away]
Oh, wait, Squidward, I'll walk you out. [Squidward continues to grumble as he exits the theater] Squidward!
You see before you is a combination of my lifelong dream! A place of my own where I can work out everyday and anytime I want, Larry's Gym! [crowd is cheering again]
Looking out at this sea of plastic muscles and sagging flesh, frankly, I'm disgusted.
I'm now opening the gym to everyone in Bikini Bottom! [crowd cheers for the third time] ...For the price of a lifetime membership.
CCrowd
Awww! [looks down]
But today, everything is free!
[The crowd cheers and runs into gym.]
[appears with scissors through his head] You're the lobster, Larry! The Alpha Lobster!
Well, I don't know if I'll say that! [buffs up]
LRLloyd-Rich
Oh, I filled out a membership form! [hands the form to Larry]
Me too! [hands the form to Larry]
Larry [throws away the box of donuts] "Dough" not bring those in here! In the meantime, enjoy yourself because your first visit is free!
Mr. Krabs [magically appears out of nowhere, literally] Is it true that everything is free?
That's right, sir! For your first visit, we– [Mr. Krabs runs off and disappears.] Hello? In conclusion, I'm at your service to turn anyone–anyone–into a rippling heap of muscle glory! [buffs up once more]
[The scene changes to the Krusty Krab late at night. SpongeBob is happily flipping the patties on the grill.]
Well, that was the last customer, SpongeBob.
[places his two spatulas in his pockets] Oh, what a great day.
And you know why it was a great day? Because Krabs never even showed up!
[The scene changes to Larry's gym getting ready to open up for the morning. Larry is walking by the steam room until he sees steam coming out.]
Huh? [sniffs] What is that smell? [jiggles the doorknob] Mr. Krabs, how long have you been in there?!
[Larry pulls the door off and sees Mr. Krabs as a cooked up crab on a plate with melted butter and lemons on the side, meaning that he had been in the steam room too long.]
I think I'm done! Would you mind rubbin' a little butter on me? [the episode ends]
You know somethin'? [jumps off the bench and points at Cashina] You look like $1,000,000 when you smile. [Cashina giggles again; Mr. Krabs gets down onto one knee] Cashina, would you make this old crab's day... and allow me to take you to a place where you can buy me dinner? [smiles again]
CCashina
I'd love to... [her face becomes completely transparent as the rest of her darkens, revealing none other than Plankton inside, sitting on a chair and controlling Cashina by means of a lever, a control panel with buttons, a joystick, and a microphone on it, and a camera]
[puts his hand over the microphone] ...Scam you out of your secret formula, that is. [laughs evilly as Cashina's face reappears; she covers her mouth as Plankton's laugh only comes out as a small giggle]
[Mr. Krabs is ready to tell Cashina the formula, but he gets emotional and cries; a tear falls in Cashina's mouth, destroying her and revealing her as Plankton in disguise]
[Girl voice, changing to his own voice] Come on, Krabs, let it all out! Huh?
No, no, I'm not Plankton! I'm Cashina... your blushing bride! I.. uh... uh... Am I blushing?
[He is about to crush Plankton but is too heartbroken to do so]
You're not gonna crush me?
I've been alone for so long, and for the first time in forever, I felt for someone! Well, something. I mean, a pile of cash with lips? It was all too good to be true. Cashina may have not been real, but me feelings were, weren't they?
Get a hold of yourself, Krabs!
Plankton, are you saying it was all just a scheme to you?! And you felt nothing?!
You're crazy! I'm out of here, and one day, the formula will be mine! Mark it!
BBeatrice
...And that's why today, we all wear shoes.
MMarina
Okay, okay, We get it. We will stop being mean, I promise. Just let us go.
MMarina
Listen, Pearl. We didn't mean to hurt your feeling or anything. We just, like, think it's weird that you're, like, a grandma now or whatever. We don't really get it.
Well, I don't care what you think anymore anyway. I'm being true to myself, and--and that's all that matters!
SpongeBob, you old patty junkie! Welcome home son! [SpongeBob glances at Patrick]
It's okay, I hate work anyway. [everyone laughs]
No really, I do hate work! [everyone laughs even harder, even Patrick starts laughing] Everybody's laughing! Oh hey SpongeBob, I got something for ya!
[Patrick gives SpongeBob two thumbs-ups, as well as SpongeBob. The crowd cheers, SpongeBob's and Patrick's thumbs launch into the air, and explode and the episode ends]
Showdown? I can't fight in a showdown! I'll have to go into the Witness Protection program, [goes through pictures of The Krusty Krab] I'll have to quit working at The Krusty Krab, I'll never flip a succulent Krabby Patty ever again. Oh, what have I done? [notices a note next to Gary's food bowl and picks it up and reads it.] "Hey yo Sponge-o, we were in your neck of the woods and decided to pickup your beloved pet Gary, if you wanna see him you better hightail your porous caboose over to the showdown, sincerely Sharkface and the other Sharks", Gary! No! [runs through the wall and out of his house, but runs back and breaks through the door.] I have to save Gary, I have to go to the showdown! I have to get ready to fight! [puts on shades; gets 100% lard patty oil and dips his head in it, and then has some hair, he uses his hair to hit a punching bag, and then spins around two spatulas and slices almost everything in the room.] I'm ready!
Looks like you sponges have everything covered.
MTMe Two
Mm-hmm! [suddenly turns pale]
Hey, you don't look so good. Can I take you home? Where do you live?
MTMe Two
I came from the Chum Bucket.
[realizing] The Chum Bucket?
♪I'm going to know the formula! I'm going to know the formula...♪
Plankton! [Plankton halts before him] Me Two says you made him in a copy machine, so that you could steal the secret formula!
Well, that's pattonly ridiculous!
You’ve gotta help him! I think he's sick or something.
MTMe Two
[scrunching up] I feel funnyyyy...
[Suddenly, Me Two rolls up like a paper roll in mid-air and disappears from existence]
ME TWO, ME TWO! Oh! What happened to him?!
I was afraid of that. I thought I'd save some money by using cheap toner.
It means my plan is ruined! All the SpongeBob copies will fade away now!
[shocked] Fade away...? All my brand new friends?! [crying] NOOO! THEY CAN'T!! [cries; runs inside and talks to a clone mopping] NO! DON'T DISAPPEAR!
[The clone also turns grey, scrunches and rolls up, and disappears like Me Two; SpongeBob cries harder]
[to a clone] Quickly, man! Before you fade, what's the formula?!
SCSpongeBob Copy
It's easy. You take one par -- Whoa! I don't feel so good... [turns grey, rolls up, disappears]
Wait, no! [to a clone carrying dishes] You, the formula?! [the clone also disappears; to a clone dusting a table] The formula?! [that clone disappears; to a clone at the register] The formula?! [he disappears; to a clone flipping patties] The formula?! [he disappears; a patty hits him] Ouch!
[He runs to several clones in the restaurant; SpongeBob keeps crying over losing his friends]
The formula, the formula, the formula?!
[They all disappear. Scene cuts to a bunch of other copies cleaning the roof, mowing the lawn, and some other things but they disappear. Then the scene cuts to Patrick playing with some of the copies but they disappear also.]
Life is but a walking shadow. Ha-lube-lube-lube-lube-lube... [Stopped because he gets hit by a lawnmower and gets split into 9 mini copies of himself. Scene transitions to Plankton running over to the final copy.]
What's the formula?! [Mr. Krabs enters.]
Well, I did it. I calculated 1 paycheck down into 300 separate tiny checks. Only one of you left? Here.
[The final clone disappears]
[Squidward presents himself at SpongeBob's home, dressed up in typical German clothes, in order to convince him that a German family has moved there]
[with a German accent] Ehm... German hello...?
ACH! Guten Morgen! Mein Name ist SpongeBob. (Good morning! My name is SpongeBob.)
Guten Morgen! Mein Name ist SpongeBob. Ich bin gekommen, um meine alte Heimat zu besuchen. (Good morning! My name is SpongeBob. I came to visit my old home.)
Please, would you speaken Sie English? I need za practice...
