SpongeBob SquarePants · Season 9
“Lame and Fortune” · Season 9
In this episode: Mr. Krabs (3), Abrasive SpongeBob (2), Plankton (2), Squidward (1), Pearl (1)
We have to share these with everybody! [cuts to inside the Krusty Krab]
No, SpongeBob. We are not handling out anything free for every purchase. Even the smiles here cost a nickel.
Aw, why not, Mr. Krabs?
Hahaha. Because, SpongeBob. Fortune cookie fortunes are always lame and they never come true.
[picks up a cookie, secretly given to him by Plankton, opens it, and starts reading the fortune] "Unless you give a tiny copepod the Krabby Patty secret formula, you will die?!"
[opera voice] Hello! [normal voice] Did someone say copepod?
[SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs scream when they see who it is, and starts and they both run with fear to Mr. Krabs' office, where SpongeBob locks the door and Mr. Krabs puts a plank of wood in a holder in front of the door]
Just wanted to borrow a cup of grease, Eugene. I'll come back later, ciao!
[nervously speaking] J-just how true are these cookie fortunes, SpongeBob?
If the cookie says it's true, then it's true. Horribly, terribly, truthfully, true! [begins to cry]
"You will die." [the word "die" echoes in his head three times, leading to a vision of Mr. Krabs' funeral service]
[sobbing] Oh, I'll miss you, daddy! [continues sobbing then she takes his wallet] But I really can't wait to spend your hard-earned money on shoes! [laughs and runs away]
[wakes up in his coffin] Me money!
Mr. Krabs! No! [cries some tears and fills up Mr. Krabs' coffin, causing him to float out of the coffin and hits his head on the floor. The vision ends]
Mr. Krabs? Mr. Krabs, it's time. [SpongeBob's arm breaks off while holding on to Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs gets scared as SpongeBob appears on his other side] It's time to give up the secret formula to Plankton! [attaches his left arm back into his body] Because your life is worth more than some scrap of paper in a bottle.
You're right, me boy-o, [heads toward his safe] I've got to face me fortune. [takes the secret formula out of the safe]
I guess I didn't really think that through.
I figured the funeral fortune was phony, Plankton.
Oh, yeah?! What are you going to do about it, Eugene?
Nothing, Sheldon. [holds a fortune cookie] Here, have a fortune cookie. [gives Plankton the fortune cookie]
[opens fortune cookie and starts reading the fortune teller] Eh. "You will go on a long voyage where you will get everything you deserve." [gets picked up by Mr. Krabs] Hey!
[the ending follows to a Chinese restaurant where Plankton pops out of a fortune cookie and is avoiding the chopsticks.]
Ahh! Hey! [gets grabbed by the chopsticks] Ooh! Mommy! [a chomping noise is heard]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
