Whoo-wee, there you boys are. Looks like I'm just in time.
SSSpongeBob/Squidward
Sandy?
One blast of this Molecular Separator Ray and you'll be separated for good.
[SpongeBob and Squidward try to tell Sandy not to blast them, but was too late, she blasts the ray at Squidward and SpongeBob and it separates them. Crowd gasps]
[SpongeBob gives him back his clarinet] Hmph. [plays clarinet off-key making SpongeBob cheer for him, but the audience hates it as they block their ears, Old Man Jenkins faints off his chair]
I think I'm going to be sick.
[Squidward blows his clarinet at Billy which blows his skin off and shows his skeleton]
BillyAh, I'm out of here!
Huh, no wait. Wait! [everyone leaves] Oh, my one moment of fame gone. [grabs the Molecular Separator Ray] There's got to be some way to reverse this. [pushes the button over and over]
No, Squidward! That's a very sensitive device!
[The Molecular Separator Ray blasts into the final scene]
TTherapist
[talking to Squidward] So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?
It all started when I was born.
[The camera zooms out revealing SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, Larry, and Pearl, all joined into Squidward's body in a horrifying, Cronenbergian mass as the episode ends]
No, Patrick I... [notices the people staring at him. He laughs nervously, then the caramel cracks, which reveals some light]
[All gasp, then the caramel breaks]
Frankie
So, bright!
[Frankie's eyes melt. SpongeBob laughs nervously]
[Australian accent] Your hideously white skin just ruined the party. I mean look at you! Do you hug your mother with that skin?
Frankie Billy
That guy still flopping?
Frankie Billy
Doesn't that get old?
Yeah. You've seen enough?
Yeah, let's get out of here. [He, Frank, and another customer throw their food on the floor and leave]
Frankie Billy
Me, too. I'm out. [He throws his food on the floor and leaves like everybody else]
What? Wait! Don't go! Why ya leaving?
This guy's act is stale! We crave excitement! [all the other customers argue]
Okay, Okay! You want excitement? What if I added a box? [puts Patrick on a box as he falls from it] Huh? Huh?
Frankie Billy
Sort of the same, really.
Oh, okay, so what if he flopped from two boxes...? [adds another box, but the customers are still bored] ...into a cream pie? [puts a cream pie in place]
Frankie Billy
Say now.
You see before you is a combination of my lifelong dream! A place of my own where I can work out everyday and anytime I want, Larry's Gym! [crowd is cheering again]
Looking out at this sea of plastic muscles and sagging flesh, frankly, I'm disgusted.
I'm now opening the gym to everyone in Bikini Bottom! [crowd cheers for the third time] ...For the price of a lifetime membership.
CCrowd
Awww! [looks down]
But today, everything is free!
[The crowd cheers and runs into gym.]
Frankie Billy
[appears with scissors through his head] You're the lobster, Larry! The Alpha Lobster!
Well, I don't know if I'll say that! [buffs up]
LRLloyd-Rich
Oh, I filled out a membership form! [hands the form to Larry]
Me too! [hands the form to Larry]
Larry [throws away the box of donuts] "Dough" not bring those in here! In the meantime, enjoy yourself because your first visit is free!
Mr. Krabs [magically appears out of nowhere, literally] Is it true that everything is free?
That's right, sir! For your first visit, we– [Mr. Krabs runs off and disappears.] Hello? In conclusion, I'm at your service to turn anyone–anyone–into a rippling heap of muscle glory! [buffs up once more]
Whoa. [belches] This must be the place. [enters Ms. Mildred's room] Hello? Ooh.
[In the middle of the room, there is a large water bed]
Ooh-ee. That is one big—water bed? [touches the bed and it ripples up to the top.
[On top of the bed, Billy is up there bouncing on it]
Billy
Birthday cake!
Billy
Hi, Daddy!
Don't call me that! And stop jumping on that water bed! You'll pop it!
Billy
Okay, Daddy!
[climbs up to the top] Get over here! [jumps on the bed to grab Billy, but misses]
Billy
Hah, Daddy!
Why, you little... [jumps on the bed to grab Billy, but misses again. He growls and tries to catch Billy. However, his pointy feet pops the water bed]
Billy
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Billy
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[The water bed explodes water]
And he don't buy nothin' else neither. He just makes that disgustin' condiment soup and listens to his radio, all for free. [Old Man Jenkins bangs on the radio to turn it on and sips on his "condiment soup"] And anytime someone says somethin' to him, it's always the same response...
Frankie Billy
Excuse me, could you turn the volume down on your soup?
Respect your elders! [hits Frankie Billy on the head]
Frankie Billy
Yes, sir! Sorry, sir! [runs off crying]
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
