[As SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward climb the anchor rope.]
A few inches later...
[Points upward] Look!
SpongeBob, how long are you going to stay in your little fantasy world?
S2Shanghaied
I’ve been thinkin'. [they both stop] This whole crew for eternity thing isn't working out...It's not really you so much as it is me.
You're setting us free?
Well actually, I'm just gonna eat you. See you at dinner. [leaves]
Boy, I'm glad all that's over!
RVRandom Voice
All hands, all hands! Time to vote! It's voting time!
[saddened] Hold on! [blows his nose] Sorry about that, kids! It's just that old Patchy can't help but get all choked up at the end of a show; but the good news is when you watch this cartoon land-lubbing style like you usually do, it'll have the ending you picked, so now you're an official big time decision maker! [cues some monkeys playing instruments at the zoo in greyscale] Just don't let it go to your head. Well, say good night to the folks, Potty! Potty?
[with suit and briefcase] I quit!
S2Gary Takes a Bath
[SpongeBob, in his attempt to get Gary to bathe, tries hypnotizing him]
I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages. [images of a bathtub, a shower, a bar of soap, and then a picture of a girl with pigtails and crooked teeth appear] [walking away] Sorry you had to see that.
S2Welcome to the Chum Bucket
Plankton?! [Plankton appears in an imagine bubble] But Mr. Krabs, he’s your arch enemy, he's been trying to steal the Krabby Patty Formula for years. [swats Plankton]
Ouch.
[Cut to the morning where Mr. Krabs walks to work crying, and SpongeBob walks in laughing.]
Takin' him to the cleaners! That's a hot one! [Mr. Krabs leans against the Krusty Krab doors] How'd the card game go last night, Mr. Krabs?
I lost.
Barnacles, Mr. Krabs! How much money did ya lose?
I didn't lose any money. [sheds away a tear] I lost...
Don't tell me you lost the Krusty Krab!
I lost... [SpongeBob grabs him]
Mr. Krabs, please tell me you didn't lose the... Krabby Patty secret formula!
I... lost... [points to SpongeBob] YOU!
What?
I bet your contract, and I lost.
[stares blankly, then laughs] Good one, Mr. Krabs. Well, I gotta go make those Krabby Patties. [begins to walk to the door, but Mr. Krabs' claw stops him. After continually walking and getting nowhere, he falls to the floor]
I'm afraid... you don't work here anymore.
[runs out the door to the two] Please tell me this isn't a joke.
Go on, Mr. Krabs. Tell him. Tell him all about your cruel, sick joke.
[walks over] As much as I love cruel, sick jokes, I'm afraid he's not joking. [points at SpongeBob] You work for me now, SpongeBob. [whips out a bucket with the initials "CB" on it] Time to put on the official Chum Bucket bucket helmet. [jumps onto SpongeBob's head, kicks off the Krusty Krew hat and puts the bucket on his head. SpongeBob screams and runs to Mr. Krabs while knocking Plankton and the bucket off his head]
But Mr. Krabs, I don't wanna work for him! [tugs at Krabs' shirt collar] I wanna work for you, here at the Krusty Krab! [he and Krabs start crying loudly and hug]
I'm sorry, boy! It's all my fault!
[pretending to sound genuinely sad] What kind of cold, heartless person would break apart such a loving relationship? [whips out a crowbar] I would! [jumps up and uses the crowbar to pry SpongeBob off Krabs. SpongeBob goes flying with Mr. Krabs' arms still clung to him]
SpongeBob!
Mr. Krabs! [slams into a cage and Krabs' arms fly off him. Plankton walks over and shuts the door]
This is your greatest blunder, Krabs. For fifteen years, I've been throwin' those card games just waitin' for you to slip up. I may not have the precious Krabby Patty formula, but I've got the next best thing: the guy who makes 'em! [a propeller emerges from the cage] I'm gonna run you out of business, Krabs. [the propeller spins and pilots SpongeBob into the Chum Bucket]
Mr. Krabs!
SpongeBob! [cries and then stops] Can I have my arms back? [Plankton walks over and throws the arms on Krabs' head.]
What is he doing? All these tears... and the showtunes? Why isn't he making the patties? Forget it. I'm going with plan B, I'll put his brain in the robot chef.
You know that never works! The answer is obvious: to get to the SpongeBob, you must show him compassion and understanding, then he'll give you what you want.
Will you be quiet? I'm thinking! I've got it! To get to the SpongeBob, I'll show him compassion and understanding, then he'll give me what I want.
I put the brain in the robot, you know. You shouldn't have been a spoiled brat. You see, I always get what I want. And I want you to make me a Krabby Patty!
RSRobot SpongeBob
[turning on] Bee-beep-doodle-le-dee-doo... RESPONSE - WHY DON'T YOU ASK ME LATER?
What? WHAT?!
RSRobot SpongeBob
GET WELDED.
WAIT! I COMMAND YOU MAKE ME A KRABBY PATTY!
RSRobot SpongeBob
[while reading some comics and takes a drink from his soda] I DON'T WANNA.
[Plankton yells loudest out of madness and decides to give up]
S2Frankendoodle
AArtist
[finds out the pencil slipped out of his hand and lands in the water] My pencil!
The artist has learned the first lesson of the sea: Always bring a spare pencil.
AArtist
No!
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Three!
[SpongeBob draws a jellyfish in the ground with the giant pencil]
It's a jellyfish!
Pretty good, SpongeBob, but its lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
Huh! Everybody's a critic.
[notices the jellyfish drawing is coming to life] SpongeBob! Your drawing's coming to life!
[oblivious] Now, that's more like it, Mr. Critic!
[pointing to the jellyfish] No, I mean it's swimming away!
Do you know what this means, Patrick?
Your art can never hang in a museum.
[SpongeBob and Patrick fell into a hole drawn by DoodleBob]
What just happened?
DDoodleBob
[speaking gibberish] Me, hoy minoy! Neyoyoyminoy, ladyonmamoy!
Come on, Patrick! Give me a boost up!
Can't we just stay down here where it's safe?..
No way. I created this monster and I've got to stop him.
[A wrench drawn by DoodleBob falls on Patrick's head, making him dizzy]
DDoodleBob
Neofineyin!
See what I mean, Patrick?
[dazed] Where's the leak, ma'am?
[Both try to climb up the hole, but they watch DoodleBob as he draws a bowling ball from a rock. He rolls it at Patrick, whose head turns into a bowling pin in shock] YAAAAAH...! [the bowling ball hits Patrick, transforming him into several pins. A "strike" symbol appears. The ball later rolls into the hole, hitting Patrick again. Another "strike" symbol appears for a double]
You okay, Patrick?
[offscreen] FINLAND!!!
Hey, SpongeBob, what's with all the ruckus?
Take a look for yourself, Patrick.
[Patrick sees the picture of DoodleBob on the wall and gasps]
It's the evil doodle!
No, no, not evil. He was just a two-dimensional creature lost in our three-dimensional aquatic world longing for a purpose.
So, he's a drawing?
Exactly! See how happy he is?
He still looks kind of creepy.
[on a diving board with the pencil] Oh, great Magic Pencil, your powers are too mighty for us ocean dwellers. So I will send you back to the magic kingdom from where you came. Are you ready, Patrick?
Ready!
[SpongeBob drops the pencil into Patrick's mouth. SpongeBob jumps from the diving board and onto Patrick's belly, launching the pencil out of his mouth and back up to the surface. In the real world, the artist from earlier is curled up in a fetal position]
We rejoin the artist in a creative slump.
AArtist
[the pencil reaches the surface and lands on him] Huh, what's... what's this? [jumps up and holds his pencil in joy] My pencil! [tries to draw, but unfortunately, the pencil lead breaks]
The second most important rule for the artist at sea: Always bring a pencil sharpener.
AArtist
[starts to cry] No!
S2Band Geeks
[The episode begins at Squidward's house. Music is heard, which turns out to be Squidward playing his clarinet, until the doorbell rings. The snail doctor is at the door with Incidental 26.]
SDSnail doctor
Yeah, uh, we're with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises.
[Squidward slams the door shut. The phone rings, and Squidward picks up.]
Hello, you've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the... [plays a note on his clarinet]
SFSquilliam Fancyson
Sounds as though you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh, old chum?
[gasps] Squilliam Fancyson from band class?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.