A character in SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
4th most-quoted character in SpongeBob SquarePants: in 261 of its 1,068 quotes
Most scenes with: Abrasive SpongeBob (181), Squidward (104), Patrick (61)
SpongeBob, how did that movie of yours end?
The movie? Oh! Yeah! The ending was great! Turns out, there weren't any robots after all! It was just their imagination. Hey, it's time to feed Gary! [bolts right out of the Krusty Krab]
[glares at Squidward lividly as he nervously begins sweeping up all the devices] GRRRRRRR... SQUIDWARD!!!!
Did you two get paint all over me first dollar?
We're sorry, Mr. Krabs!
[simultaneously] We're so sorry!
[looks at dollar again] And then did you draw on it with crayon?! [dollar has a smiley face and two dollar signs drawn on with green crayon]
[holding green crayon while SpongeBob stares at him] I thought, you know, maybe he'd buy it.
Alright boys, you know what I've gotta do now?!?
You mean our butts?
Can I use mine one last time?
[takes the dollar off the frame, licks it, and sets it back; the paint has washed off] There we go, good as new. [SpongeBob and Patrick stammer "but" nonstop] Yeah, I lied. This paint actually comes off with saliva. [laughs]
Oh, I get it, Mr. Krabs! You told us the paint was permanent, so me and Patrick would be more careful and not get paint on anything!
Nah, I just like to mess with ya! [laughs as SpongeBob and Patrick grimace and leave in disgust; Mr. Krabs ends up spitting while laughing, washing off all the paint on the walls] Aw, crud. I really gotta learn to say it, not spray it.
Patrick, go be stupid somewhere else.
Ah-ah-ah, Squidward, remember what Mr. Krabs says.
The money is always right.
The ceiling is right, Squidward. You're not a very good employee.
I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra. From now on, I wanna be called Barnacle Man! And, I'm through with protecting citizens that don't respect me!
I respect you, Barnacle Man!
That's Barnacle Boy, I mean, Man! I... Ohh... forget you people. I say if you're not gonna give me any respect as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is... [the sky turns orange as thunderstorms are heard] evil!
Evil?
Evil? [Mermaid Man zones out, so Mr. Krabs slaps him]
Evil!
I'm crossing over... to the dark side! [points to dark side of Krusty Krab]
Why should I waste money lightin' the whole store? [villain car comes in, shows brief shot of License Plate (MEAN 2 U), then the window opens revealing Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble in the car]
Did someone say evil?
Holy oil spill! It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's arch enemies: Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble! [Barnacle "Man" gets in the villain car]
Nighty night, you old goat! [the villain car departs]
Nighty-night! [to Squidward] Will you tuck me in? [Squidward narrows his eyes]
I'm right here! Don't worry, good citizens! Nothing will stop me from defeating the E.V.I.L.! [runs outside] Nothing! [ice cream truck sounds] Ice cream? I love ice cream! A double scoop of prune with bran sprinkles. [receives an ice cream with a lit fuse] Mmm. [licks it and takes a big bite but explodes, "KA-BRAN!" appears, leaving a hole in his stomach] Goes right through me every time.
I can't believe it, Mr. Krabs. Where are we going, Fancy Springs?
No.
Pamper Island?
Try again.
Oh, oh, oh! Bikini Bottom Folk Village?
Better than that.
Clam fishing? This is the reward we get for all our hard work? Fishing for stinky clams in a smelly old boat on a filthy lagoon? You call this fun?
Oh, come on now, Squidward. Three fellas at sea with nothing but throw their lines in the water, catch a few clams, then throw them back. Don't you think that's fun?
No.
Hey, watch where you're swinging that... [SpongeBob casts Squidward's shirt out in the lagoon] SpongeBob, be careful with... [SpongeBob hooks Squidward’s nose]
[The camera cuts to an overhead view of the boat as a loud rip is heard and Squidward screams loudly in pain, then walks up to Mr. Krabs with his nose torn off.]
Okay, I've had enough.
[laughs] Oh, Squidward, you got to lighten up. [SpongeBob is still casting out items while Mr. Krabs talks to Squidward] Sure the lad's a bit overeager, but you've got to learn to roll with the punches, go with the flow. And don't bring anything on a boat that you ain't prepared to lose! [laughs. The hook in SpongeBob's fishing rod touches Mr. Krabs millionth dollar. Gasps] Me millionth dollar! [SpongeBob rips Mr. Krabs' pants off and casts his dollar to the lagoon] SpongeBob, wait! SpongeBob, you hooked me millionth dollar on the back swing! Reel it in before I keelhaul ya!
[Ominous orchestral music begins playing. Mr. Krabs' pupils shrink in shock]
Oh, no. SpongeBob, quick, reel it in! Can't you hear the music? That's a 4/4 string ostinato in D minor. Every sailor knows that means death. Hurry, SpongeBob! The music’s getting faster. [opens the door] There you are, you stinking bilge rats. [darts to the trumpeters] STOP PLAYING THAT MUSIC! [to the conductor] STOP IT PLEASE! [to the violinists] I'm begging you! Come on, honey, you can make it! Swim faster! Come to me, baby! Come on back! Hurry, SpongeBob!
Here she comes. [Mr. Krabs begs. SpongeBob reels the dollar in.] She made it!
[holds up the dollar and cheers] For a second or two, I thought she was a goner.
I trusted you. And you give me this?! I can't believe me old crew would betray me like this. [sobs]
No. Uh-uh. No. We will not be swayed by tears any more.
I see. Then, I guess I have no choice but to offer a reward.
You're kidding.
Whoo! Is it another fishing trip?
No, it's this sandwich.
Squidward, he has lost something near, and dearer at him, haven’t you-
Look again.
[Laughs as he plays jumprope with his eyes]
You’re right. How do we get out of here?
If we're real quiet, we can sneak over to the lifeboat.
Okay. [he and Squidward take a step, but then start screaming as they sprint over to the lifeboat. They jump into it but then come back onto the boat tied up; Mr. Krabs pops his head out of the lifeboat]
[angrily] So, you thought you'd skip out on old Krabs, did ya? Even after you promised to help me. I know what you're thinking. "It's just a dumb old dollar. Let's just leave the old man. He won't notice." [sobs] Well, it's not going down like that. There's only one use for a backstabbing crew like you: [scene cuts to Mr. Krabs hanging his line over the boat. SpongeBob and Squidward are attached to the line] live bait.
You're crazy. If that clam didn't come before, what makes you think he'll come now?
[dressed up as a conductor] Ohh, he'll come. [taps the book using his baton and the doors open up to the live-action orchestra and begins to play the 4/4 string ostinato in D minor; SpongeBob and Squidward shake and scream in terror]
Mr. Krabs, listen, I work with SpongeBob all day long, so I know what I'm talking about when I say... [yells] you are completely out of your mind! [Mr. Krabs laughing maniacally while conducting the orchestra. The giant clam emerges above the lagoon coming closer to the two on the line; Squidward screams] Get us out of here!
Come on, fresh meat! [SpongeBob and Squidward scream as they try to wiggle back and forth to avoid the giant clam] Keep thrashing! He likes it! [both continue to scream and bounce up and down really fast] Come on, boy! Closer. Closer. Almost there. [a giant clam shows the dollar on its tongue] That's it! [closes the doors to cause the music to stop. The giant clam stops in mid-air and Mr. Krabs jumps inside it to take the dollar] Aha! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Look, boys, I finally got it! [rubs his dollar on himself] I finally got me millionth dollar!
[The cabin doors strangely open by themselves to play the ominous music again. The giant clam closes its mouth, with Mr. Krabs inside, and dives into the lagoon. The cabin doors close as the conductor takes a bow.]
Oh, poor Mr. Krabs. Gone forever out of our lives. [a tear falls down his cheek] Why couldn't it have been me?
Yes, why couldn't it have been you? [sobbing]
Why did he have to go like this, why? [crying]
Why did he have to go like this and leave me tied to this idiot? [both sob loudly]
Hello, boys! [SpongeBob and Squidward stop sobbing]
Mr. Krabs? [Mr. Krabs' head is above the lagoon]
Have you boys met... [holds his millionth dollar up] ...me millionth dollar? [laughs]
Wow, how did you get it back?
It wasn't easy. Old Blue Lips is quite the fighter, so, eventually, we settled on a trade.
What did you give him? [Mr. Krabs jumps back up on the boat, revealing himself as only having a head and left arm]
Nothing important. [laughs. SpongeBob and Squidward look shocked]
You guys wouldn't know a good time if it bit you in the aft! I'm going home! You guys ain't cool, you're lame!!
[gasps] Lame?
Lame! You're nerds, geeks, creeps and babies.
Not 'babies.' [suck their thumbs]
I may be old, but even an old bag of shells like me knows that you haven't suggested one cool thing all night. So good night to ya. [starts to leave]
I guess you're gonna miss the panty raid.
The what?
I said I guess you're gonna miss the panty raid.
Panty raid? [walks back to them] You're talkin' about girls, right? [pause] Girl girls?
Yeah.
And you're talking about raiding their dressers...for their underpants, right?
Oh, yeah.
Well, count me in. If this works, I'll take back what I said about you two bein' lame.
Not lame!
[about to eat a nasty patty when suddenly the ambulance comes by] Oh look! An ambulance. Now then... [bites it; the scene cuts to him moaning on gurney being wheeled into hospital, suffering from food poisoning]
SpongeBob?
Yes, Mr. Krabs?
Make sure you wrap up that patty, I'm not finished with it yet!
Wait just a burger-flipping second!
[turns around angrily] Who dares back-sass the Flying Dutchman?!?!
That would be me: SpongeBob BacksassPants. I say you got the wrong crab. This Mr. Krabs is the most generous, big-hearted, non-skinflinted crab in the whole sea. [While SpongeBob speaks, Mr. Krabs is happy at SpongeBob's words]
He'd sell your soul for a couple of bucks.
I'd bet my soul he wouldn't.
You got yourself a bet. [to Mr. Krabs] Okay, Krabs, I'll let you stay, but first, help me settle a bet. If you had to choose between SpongeBob and all the money I have in my pocket, which would you take?
That depends. How much money we talking about?
Mr. Krabs!
[shows some coins] 62 cents.
I'll take the money.
MR. KRABS!!!!!
Here you go, Krabs. 62 cents. [hands him the change and picks up SpongeBob] Next stop: Davy Jones' locker! [SpongeBob screams as they both disappear]
[runs to Squidward, happy] Look, Squidward, money!
Mr. Krabs, I can't believe I'm saying this, but how could you trade SpongeBob for 62 cents!!??
You think I could've gotten more?
He stuck up for you, and you sold him out. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!!
You said you would bring Krabby the Clown. But all I saw out there was Cheapy the Cheapskate!!
Hey, I ain't cheap! [rubs the clown nose on his shirt, which turns red] Now, take this tomato back in the kitchen before it spoils.
But what about the true meaning of summer? What about the children?
[walks to the window and climbs out] The children? I don't care about the children. I just care about their parents' money. Ah, the fact that their feeble minds are easily manipulated by cheap playgrounds and talentless clowns is no skin off my nose. Survival of the Fittest, SpongeBob. Survival of the Fittest. [laughs]
Ahem.
Huh? [the children are standing behind him] Oh, hey kids. [smiles nervously] Uh... Uncle Krabs has to go to the bank now. Heh.
Get him! [all the kids run after him]
Can I have the secret formula?
No.
Okay. [walks away]
[voiceover] But he was persistent.
[comes back] Pretty please?
Uh-uh.
[voice only, invisible] Krabs, we've come to haunt you!
[as the ball bounces on his paddle ball faster] Stay back! I'm well-armed! [the barrel floats by] I'm warning you! [scissors cut the string from the paddle ball he's using]
[voices only, invisible] Boo!
[Mr. Krabs breaks out of his armor and shrieks in horror.]
I gotta get out of here! [bumps into the door, only to find out the doors were glued]
[voice only, invisible] You can't escape, Krabs! We've glued the door shut!
Yeah.
[reading his name tag that says, "HELLO, MY NAME IS PATRICK" upside down] Kirtap si eman, Y, M, O, 77, eh. I don't get it.
No, you dumb bunny! It says "Hello, my name is Patrick"!
[shakes his hand] Nice to meet you, Patrick!
[laughs] Good one, Patrick! [both laugh]
[he and Mr. Krabs laugh] Yeah.
What's going on here?! The laughter isn't scheduled until 9:03! You want to throw a party, do it at your house, Patrick.
Was he talking to me or you?
Abrasive SpongeBobTom Kenny · 691 quotes
PatrickBill Fagerbakke · 344 quotes
SquidwardRodger Bumpass · 334 quotes
PPlankton138 quotes
SandyCarolyn Lawrence · 76 quotes
KarenJill Talley · 44 quotes
Mrs. PuffMary Jo Catlett · 37 quotes
French NarratorTom Kenny · 32 quotes
GaryTom Kenny · 30 quotes
PatchyTom Kenny · 23 quotes
PearlLori Alan · 22 quotes
FredMr. Lawrence · 19 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
