I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra. From now on, I wanna be called Barnacle Man! And, I'm through with protecting citizens that don't respect me!
I respect you, Barnacle Man!
BBarnacle "Man"
That's Barnacle Boy, I mean, Man! I... Ohh... forget you people. I say if you're not gonna give me any respect as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is... [the sky turns orange as thunderstorms are heard] evil!
SKSquidward, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, and Patrick
Evil? [Mermaid Man zones out, so Mr. Krabs slaps him]
BBarnacle "Man"
I'm crossing over... to the dark side! [points to dark side of Krusty Krab]
Why should I waste money lightin' the whole store? [villain car comes in, shows brief shot of License Plate (MEAN 2 U), then the window opens revealing Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble in the car]
Dirty BubbleDid someone say evil?
Holy oil spill! It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's arch enemies: Man Ray and the Dirty Bubble! [Barnacle "Man" gets in the villain car]
BBarnacle "Man"
Nighty night, you old goat! [the villain car departs]
Nighty-night! [to Squidward] Will you tuck me in? [Squidward narrows his eyes]
I'm right here! Don't worry, good citizens! Nothing will stop me from defeating the E.V.I.L.! [runs outside] Nothing! [ice cream truck sounds] Ice cream? I love ice cream! A double scoop of prune with bran sprinkles. [receives an ice cream with a lit fuse] Mmm. [licks it and takes a big bite but explodes, "KA-BRAN!" appears, leaving a hole in his stomach] Goes right through me every time.
[The Dirty Bubble goes to the Goo Lagoon]
Dirty Bubble
I think, for dessert, I'll eat more dirt! [laughs evilly]
Not Goo Lagoon! [The Dirty Bubble sucks up Goo Lagoon. SpongeBob grabs out paper and pencil to write quickly his last words] Thank you, my beloved pet Gary, thank you, my big pineapple, and my toolshed, and my mailbox, and Patrick! [Sobs as the dirt level increasingly gets higher and higher. Starts absorbing all the dirt.] Uh, what? Wow. Sometimes I just forget how absorbent I am. [proceeds to spin around inside like clothes in a side-loader washing machine]
Dirty Bubble
Wait, what? Ow, just... stop spinning, you sponge! You're stealing my grunge! [slowly shrinks, stammering] Stop that rhyme! [screams as he is absorbed by SpongeBob] [SpongeBob falls into Goo Lagoon's seabed. Burps out an shrunken version of the Dirty Bubble.] [high pitched] I may be a squirt, but I'm still full of dirt! [evil laughs]
Aww, little mini DB is so cute! [Dirty Bubble spits dirt onto SpongeBob's eyelid. Officer Johnson catches Dirty Bubble and puts him into a jar held by lady officer]
Every time I wash dishes, I will think of you.
Dirty Bubble
Hmph. Every time I have nightmares, I'll think of you, too! [complaining noises]
Thank you, citizen. We'll take it from here.
[Pretends to be the Dirty Bubble] It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it. [evil laugh] [Police officers gasp] Just kidding! [laughs] [Police officers laugh with him. SpongeBob suddenly feels the urge to sneeze, splattering goo all over the place.]
POPolice officers
[angrily] Gesundheit.
Thank you! [looks at lady officer] You got some schmutz under there. [Wipes off goo from her face. Grabs out a tissue and laughs.]
Dirty Bubble
Yes, I'm free!
Dirty Bubble
You chewing that crusty gum has freed me from Mermaid Man's bubblegum trap! What's your name, my bulbous buddy?
Dirty Bubble
What a perfect name for my new sidekick. Or should I say, in-sidekick? [swallows Bubble Bass and spits the tub out]
[screaming and stretching in the Dirty Bubble] Let me out!
Dirty Bubble
[laughs evilly as he retracts to fit Bubble Bass' shape] As a reward for releasing me, you're my new partner in crime.
[opens bathroom door while holding a basket of laundry] What's going on in--? Huh? Bubble Bass, you're even filthier than before you took a bath!
It's not my fault, Mother. I'm trapped inside this foul felon!
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
