South Park quotes

Who is Mysterion?

Cartman

Who is the Coon?

My identity's gotta remain a secret. You're not gonna know.

Yeah, well. You can't know my identity either!

I assume you must be Cartman. Because you're fat!

Well, you're wrong! I'm not Cartman and he's not fat!

Look! Mysterion and Professor Chaos are fighting!

Give him Heck, Mysterion!

Look out, Mysterion, General Disarray is behind you!

Stan

Mom, Dad, how come there's suddenly no money?

I'll tell you what happened, son! See, there's a bunch of idiots out there who weren't happy with what they had! They wanted a bigger house and materialistic things that they didn't even need. [grabs his margarita glass and rises from the table] People with no money who got loans to buy frivolous things they had no business buying. [walks over to a Margaritaville margarita blender and loads it with ice. A margarita mix is already in place in the blender] And these assholes just blindly started buying any stupid thing that looked appealing, [puts the ice scooper back into the ice bucket] 'cause they thought money was endless! [starts up the blender, which drowns out whatever he says for the next nine seconds] It goes back to when the government had the idea that everyone in America deserves to own a house, and they couldn't pay their mortgage because they couldn't afford them. So we have people having a hard time paying off their loans, meaning less money coming in. [serves himself a margarita and places the blender back on its base] And the idiots couldn't see that by doing all this frivolous spending they were mocking the Economy. And they made the Economy very angry. [goes back to his seat with his margarita] We're all feeling the Economy's vengeance because of materialistic heathens who did stupid things with their money! Do you understand, son? [sips from his margarita glass]

Stan

Yeah, I think I get it.

Okay, we put your money in the bank AND IT'S GONE!

Stan

What?!

Sir, please, you're holding up the line.

We must stop pointing fingers! Finger pointing gets us nowhere-- [points to man] Steve!

The economy is our shepherd, we shall not want.

Kyle

Listen, this is all you need to know: the economy is not a supernatural all-knowing entity. The economy is just an idea, made up by people, thousands of years ago. The economy is not real. And yet, it is real. Nowadays they'll give credit to practically anyone who applies for them. [pulls out an envelope] I applied for this yesterday to prove a point. It is an American Express Platinum card. [from Kyle's position, one can see hundreds of people listening to him] It has no spending limit. [cries of shock rise from the crowd] Do not be afraid! This is only plastic. It's just something made up by people. Truly meaningless until we put our faith in it. Faith is what makes an economy exist. Without faith, it is only plastic cards and paper money.

[sees his son, Butters, running home from school and running upstairs to his room, screaming] Butters?