Bill, it was a different time. It was back when we didn't know the Russians were incompetent.
S6 E13Tankin' It To The Streets
Gentlemen, the crap has literally been scared out of me.
He's...he's gone! Bill's dead!
[Crying] Oh, dang 'ol, dang 'ol Bill, man!
[Taking his hat off in tribute] Bill was a good friend. He gave his life to save ours. I can safely say I would not have done the same for him.
[Sighs] The last thing I told him was he had bad breath. I wish I would've told him that he was a brave man...honest...sweet...[starts tearing up]...like a...big old stuffed teddy bear...[The otherwise-stoic Hank breaks down sobbing.] Oh God...I'm gonna miss him...
[Hank, Boomhauer and Dale begin crying inconsolably at the death of their friend Bill...including Bill himself. Hearing his voice, they stop crying, and look around to find the source of the sound. Bill is seen partly visible behind some shrubbery.]
Bill?!
[The three rush over to Bill, who is alive, but bruised and covered in dirt.]
[relieved] You're alive! You made it out in time!
Somehow I got blowed out by the asplosion...that hurt. Ow. Hey look, my- my carpal tunnel is gone.
[Bill lifts his right hand, which is horrifically mangled. His friends cringe.]
That is gross.
I heard what you guys said though - that I was brave and honest and a good friend. Do you still think that, now that I'm not dead?
Yup.
Yup.
Mm-hmm.
[Satisfied with this response, Bill passes out with a smile on his face.]
S6 E14Of Mice and Little Green Men
You're like E.T., except E.T. was a purebred alien with a heart of gold. You're only half-alien and at times can be a tad self-absorbed.
He's just being nice to me so my real dad won't freeze him in carbonite and trade him for spice.
S6 E15A Man Without a Country Club
What happens if my tee shot lands on a bird's back and he carries it out of bounds but then is attacked by a larger bird who grabs the ball and drops it in the hole? Is that still a hole-in-one? Because that's how I'm going to play it.
Dang it, Dale. It already happened once. What are the odds of it happening again?
I've never had a caddy before. I'm gonna treat him like crap.
Kahn has distracted Hank in front of the membership chairman. Ted Wassanasong goes to speak to Khan in private
Damn it, Kahn, do you want to join Nine Rivers?
KKhan
Oh yes! Thank you, Ted!
Welp, you can forget it!
Kahn frowns
...Unless you can show Mr. Ho that Hank Hill would be the perfect Nine Rivers member.
What do you want with that chicken-fried loser?
The PGA has refused to have their tournament at Nine Rivers unless we attract at least one non-Asian member. You deliver me Hank, I will put you up for junior membership.
KKahn
You will offer me full membership!
Associate membership?
KKahn
Full membership!
Ted{meekly}: Done!
Can I ask you something? What and what accessories do I sell for a living?
Tractors?
[Later]
To be fair, Hank, you used to sell tractors.
Yeah, well, he didn't know that.
S6 E16Beer and Loathing
They're temporarily diverting beer down to Mexico. Alamo will be back on the shelves in five days.
Five days? We can wait that long.
At a market near the Mexico/US border
I don't mean to sound racist, but this by far is the best selection of beans I have ever seen. I'm serious.
Oooh, tacos! Can I buy one?
No!
How about some pig's feet? They look clean.
No! No food! You're going to get sick and this isn't some two-mile ride home from a pie-eating contest.
How about a banana? It comes in it's own wrapper.
Hank{sighing}: Fine.
Bill grabs bushels of bananas then proceeds to go pay for them. Hank sees shopkeeper sweeping
Uhh.. ¿Por favor? ¿Cervezas Alamo?
Shopkeeper points to a display of a Mexican cowgirl enticing customers to buy Alamo
Bill, Boomhauer & Dale{in unison}: Whoa!
Outside the Mexican market. The guys enjoy a long-awaited Alamo Beer, except Bill, who eats a banana
Yup.
Yup.
Yup.
One beer's not going to hurt my driving. Look how fat I am!
Sorry, Bill. That's what you get for having a mouth full of banana when we all said "Not It."
Returning to Arlen. Bill is driving Dale's van
Dang those bananas!
Step on it, Bill! I don't know which way it's coming out, but it's coming out!
(vomits) Damn that filthy Mexican banana!
BDBill Dautrieve
Don't blame the bananas! I had more than anyone, peels included, and I didn't get sick until hours after you guys did.
S6 E17Fun with Jane and Jane
No, you are not tripping, that is an emu.
Luanne and other girls enter Omega House. One member takes Luanne's luggage but a van pulls up and two men grab her and force her inside
MMother
Oh Lisa, my baby! These men are here to get you back to normal.
LLisa
Who is Lisa? My name is Jane.
D1Deprogrammer #1
Do not worry young lady, all will be OK. Thank God we got her.
D2Deprogrammer #2
Yeah, it was a lucky break. This cult has lawyers up the ying-yang.
Van drives off. Luanne enters Omega House
Omega House, party, woo hoo!
HJHead Jane
Omega House appreciates a mother as dedicated as you.
Peggy {chuckling}: I am too young to be Luanne's mother. I am her aunt.
HJHead Jane
You sound like an amazing person, I would love to get in your head. I bet you have many friends.
Actually, no.
HJHead Jane
Well, people are often intimidated by those of high intellect. But you are a smart woman, no matter what your husband has told you.
Peggy {thinking about Hank}: No, I can't say he ever did that.
HJHead Jane
Father?
Peggy {thinking about Doc Platter}: No, not in particular.
Head Jane {grasping at straws}: Mother?
Peggy {recalling Maddy Platter's abusive attitude}: How did you know?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's King of the Hill pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.