Wrap him up, college boy!
S12 E1Suite Smells of Success
S12 E2Bobby Rae
Bobby, do you want to end up like George Clooney?
S12 E4Four Wave Intersection
Hey Bobby. How was the surf today? Did Boomhauer do his famous flamingo? That's when he stands on one leg, that's not easy to do, even on the ground.
No, all he did was fall flat on his face and embarrass himself, and us by association, we didn't even get to ride the wave.
Boomhauer was embarrassed? I don't know what the heck's going on here but someone needs to get their asses kicked.
Finally. Yes. Thank you. It's time to kick their local asses!
Bobby, language. But, yes. I am going to kick their asses.
S12 E5Death Picks Cotton
(After kicking down a wall Hank just finished making) "That was in my way!"
It's okay. I'm here, you can go now. Go, go into the light. The light is good. You can just let go now.
Mr. Reaper, I'd prefer that you put your hood back on.
Why won't you die?
This was supposed to happen to you. You're worthless. You're not even good enough to be married to my worthless nothing of a loser son!
Enough! Your son has always loved you despite your constant torture. You want to die alone? Fine. You want to keep coming back and never die? That's fine too. In fact, I hope you do go on living forever as the unhappy person you are in the hell you have created here on this earth. I hope you live forever. I really do.
Oh, do you, now? (cackles, then dies as his heart monitor goes off)
(After blowing up the shack that Hank just built because Hank's father wanted it destroyed) "Yee-haw! That was for you colonel!" (runs off)
S12 E6Raise the Steaks
[Presses his tongs into the steak cooking on the grill] Firm but with a little give. Yup, these are medium-rare.
What if somebody wants theirs well-done?
We ask them politely, yet firmly, to leave.
It's the beast steak I have ever eaten.
S12 E7Tears of an Inflatable Clown
Have a socially relevant day!
S12 E10Doggone Crazy
[as Ladybird growls when rain falls] It's okay, Ladybird. It's just a little thunder.
ODOskar de Vries
Maybe this nutjob actually knows what he's doing!
S12 E11Trans-Fascism
But I thought you'd be proud.
TLTom Landry
We're not.
S12 E13The Accidental Terrorist
He was behind you the last time it broke down. Well, that's lucky, I-I guess.
Stop it, Tom! It's all over! I know.
THTom Hammond
You know what, buddy?
That you've been selling me a bag of lies for the last twenty-five years. How could you, Tom?
THTom Hammond
Well, what can I say, Hank? I'm a salesman.
Well, Joseph went to his first sleepover last night. Didn't go so well, he's a cuddler, so I had to go pick him up.
(Whispers) Oh, Hank! You must cover your tracks! We'll have to kill Dale!
Dad, I'm confused. So you should trust people until they betray you, and then try to blow them up?
The only thing I'm guilty of is trusting you. Well, I'll tell you one thing: I may go to jail, but I’ve zipped my lips for the last time.
Hank always seemed like a very quiet man, you know.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's King of the Hill pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.