(subtitled): Your honor, I can tell you are a reasonable horse. I am very pregnant because of what happened with Lupe. She ate my bus accident and all I wanted was to make Lupe into a book. I have too many good anuses ahead of me to spend my life in a cigar factory.
S6 E3Lupe's Revenge
DDooley
My chicken's the star of the show.
S6 E4The Father, the Son, and J.C.
How about this one?
Peace!? I bet you would like that! Why don't you get one with a flag-burnin' on it? Besides, we're a Joy family.
Dad, it's Jesus peace, not Hippie peace...
I'm lucky. Cotton is so easy to shop for. Either he likes what I get him, and he's happy, or he hates it, and he shoots it, and he's happy.
S6 E5Return of the Bribe
[seeing Dale with the satellite] Damn it, Dale. Are you stealing shingles again?
S6 E6I'm With Cupid
"I'm sweet on you, Connie! I'm your little candy man!"
(When Connie referred to Bobby as 'just a friend) "Don't use the 'f' word on me, not me; This is your cuddle monster talking."
SDStuart Dooley
(To Bobby) "You shot her in the eye."
"Oh, gross! You licked it!" (runs off, Joseph puts down his drink)
(to Bobby) "What are you doing? You're ruining my party." (takes Bobby's toy bow)
(to Joseph) "What?! You wouldn't even be having this party if it wasn't for me. You'd just be sitting alone going, 'Dude, like, eh... I'm so bleah."
"Come on. Get..." (tries to push Bobby out)
"Watch it. You're pulling off the wings! Let go! I'm not leaving! I am not leaving unless Connie leaves with me." (Bobby now gets in, trying to hold his grip onto the couch.)
(as he and the boys grab Bobby) "Come on. One, two, three. Get him. Get him." (Clark Peters lifts his fingers, carry him, and throw him over the fence, cheering. Bobby grunts)
S6 E7Torch Song Hillogy
Hey, who wants to dance? Bill, help me move that couch! [groans] Dang it!
S6 E8Joust Like a Woman
MGMedieval Guy
How now, gas man.
S6 E9The Bluegrass is Always Greener
"In America, you put "In God We Trust" on your money. In Russia, we have no money!"
S6 E10The Substitute Spanish Prisoner
JJimmy
[screams] She pulled her thumb off! Call a doctor!
S6 E11Unfortunate Son
Falcon, bring us back a vole. Sh-sh-sha!
[The falcon immediately attacks Bill.]
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! It bites!
[Bill runs off.]
...so Bill's a vole.
[Hank and Cotton are forced to the edge of a cliff in the forest while being pursued by Vietnam veterans who are berserk from PTSD]
[sighs] I'm sorry, dad. It was a bad idea to try to get everyone together. I guess I just...
GOD...DANG IT, Hank! Don't apologize! You did everything right... I screwed up. Sometimes you can do everything right and still lose; it ain't your fault. You gave it everything you had. That's all I ever asked of my men. Thanks for trying soldier.
[both men smile at each other, the Vietnam vets snap out of it and start crying]
OAOne-armed Vet
That's all we ever wanted to hear; 'You did your best [sniffles] thanks for trying.'
Well I gotta say I'm surprised you fellas are as good as you is. [pause] Shoot, you captured Cotton Hill, the whole Nazzy army couldn't do that. As commanding officer of the local VFW Post, I would be honored to have you fellas join our organization. On the one condition: that you stop all this GOT DANG BAWLING!
OAOne-armed Vet
We'll uh... we'll do our best, colonel.
[Cotton salutes the vets which they promptly return. Cotton then sees Hank smiling at him]
Oh, what're you smiling about? Oh, you think you're getting your propane bill paid? Well, you ain't! You're in a long line behind cable, hooch, and scooch. [goes to the One-armed Vet, Hank is still smiling]You ever get shot?
OAOne-armed vet
I got a metal plate in my head.
No kidding?! I got no shins!
S6 E12Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret Hill
[cues the propane lever in the Devil's cave] That's a clean burning Hell, I'd tell you what! [evil laugh]
S6 E13Tankin' It To The Streets
Where are you going to keep it, smart guy? It doesn't even fit inside your garage.
KKahn
Uh, Maybe I keep garage inside SUV! (laughs) Kiss my ass!
What are you asking Bill for? The army destroyed all his brain cells with their deadly placebo drug. No wonder he's an ignor-anus.
What did you say?
"Ignor-anus." It means "stupid," you moron.
Dale, you said "placebo."
Yeah, I read it in Bill's file. That was the name of the drug they gave him: "Placebo." I think it's made by "Puh-fizer."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's King of the Hill pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.