Prepare to be beaten by the deadliest form of martial arts. Monkey style! Ooh, ooh, ahh, ahh!
S6 E18My Own Private Rodeo
Get away from my wife or next time I'll aim for the mannequin and hit you.
Attention homosexuals and so called "bi"-sexuals.
This is supposed to be my re-wedding to Dale! My second chance! Why is God punishin' me? (looks up with her arms in the air) Why, sug?!
BGBug Gribble
Oh my god, Hank! Are you gay?
What?! No! I sell propane!
So, are you really okay with your dad being gay?
Why would I have a problem with it? John Redcorn's gay, and I've been friends with him for years!
[to the crowd] Listen up, homosexuals and so-called bisexuals; you are being-- [a lasso ties him up]
S6 E19Sug Night
Hey, John Redcorn.
Hank.
Uh, yeah, John Redcorn, I had a dream last night. You got a minute?
Come in. I'll brew some chamomile tea.
...and the woman in my dreams, the one without the clothing, was not my wife. And needless to say that is not a dream I intended to have.
My people believe that dreams of the unconscious mind trying to solve a problem with the conscious mind cannot. Is there anything unusual going on with you?
Nope. Everything's the same as it's always been for as long as I can remember. Yep, same old, same old.
Is it possible that after 20 years of marriage, you're a little tired of your wife?
What?! That's crazy! Our romantic life is as good as the day we were married. It hasn't changed a bit. Yep, we've got a great routine. If I were bored of Peggy, I'd be having dreams in which I was bored of Peggy, not grilling naked with the neighbor's wife.
(laughs) Minh.
Uh, no.
It's Nancy? My Nancy? You're having dirty dreams about my sweet Nan-Nan?
Say, is that a new suede vest?
Nancy used to like it when I kept the vest on during sex. Do you want it?
Oh, God!
Here, take it! Take it all!
Bah!
(crying)
[furious] Nancy, get out of the tub! [shakes the toaster] Electric toaster! [slips, the toaster unplugs and falls to the grass]
S6 E20Dang Ol' Love
MMarlene
I'm going to be honest with you -- I only understand about half of what you say. The other times I just nod and smile and wait for your pants to come off.
Bill is picking on Boomhauer? He hasn't done that since he had hair.
She's not coming back, honey.
'Course she is. She's Mr. Boomhauer's girlfriend.
Let's see, how can I explain this...? You know how you can be happy eating vanilla ice cream day after day after day? Well, Mr. Boomhauer isn't just like that. See, he likes to try different flavors.
But he can have a new flavor every day! He's dating the ice cream lady!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's King of the Hill pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.