Wow, I always thought this was a crack house.
S2 E1How to Fire a Rifle without Really Trying
This gun is very nice.
Yeah, they’re all nice guns and all guns are nice.
Can I put a gun rack on my bike?
Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to ask me that?
Why don't we get you into one of those safety courses and if you're still interested after they've taken all the fun out of it, then we'll see about the ponchos and the... uh... tournament.
Guns don't kill people, the government does.
Dale, the NRA is a Washington DC based organization. Are you telling me you support Washington D.C.?!
*pause* THAT'S a thinker...
Sorry I'm late, I had to stop at the wax museum and give the finger to F.D.R.
S2 E2Texas City Twister
Six AM and already the boy ain't right...
Don't play mind checkers with me, man. I'm not in the mood.
This tornado's already registered a level two on the Fujisaki scale. A storm that strong will send an egg through a barn door -- two barn doors if one of them's open.
What about a level three, Mr. Gribble?
A level three tornado will blow an egg right through a brick wall. Twister chasers call it "Humpty's Revenge."
All right, twister. It's just you and me now. Ten years ago you took my shed. [the twister's image is reflected on his shades] Did you think I'd forget that? Come on, bring it on! [a raindrop hits the windshield] GAAHH!! No! Please, let me go! [Dale panics, and the Dead Bug veers out of control]
Come on. [honks horn] Come on! Let's go! Move that truck! [a worker walks towards his truck] My wife is stuck in Shining Pines.
DWDecontamination Worker
I'm not authorized to drive the truck, sir.
My wife is in danger, damn it! Now make something happen!
DWDecontamination Worker
[blows whistle] SECURITY!!!
Bill, thank God! Make this idiot let me pass.
What did I do to deserve this? I didn't mean to curse my wife to Hell!
[worried] Ohh...
Ahhh... AAHH!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the chance I've been waiting for!
You're tough, Bill. You're the toughest Army barber I know.
Set your mousse to stun, there, Bill.
Mention your home was destroyed, and get a free 5-pound bag of onions.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's King of the Hill pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.