Dale Gribble quotes from King of the Hill

Dale Gribble

You don't know who I am, but I know where you live and you better cut it out if you know what's good for you. Oh, and Hank, we changed that tee-off time to 3:00.

Dale Gribble

They'll probably get you with a blow-dart; that's their way. But you'll just think its a mosquito bite until you die, then you'll know the truth.

Dale

I'll tell you, I hate to see Nancy cooped up all Sunday playing that Boggle. It's a beautiful day! She oughta be outside hanging my laundry!

Dale

Boy, that wife of yours is pretty good! I guess that's why they call her your "better half!" [chuckles]

Dale

…They.

Dale

Guns don't kill people, the government does.

Dale Gribble

All right, twister. It's just you and me now. Ten years ago you took my shed. [the twister's image is reflected on his shades] Did you think I'd forget that? Come on, bring it on! [a raindrop hits the windshield] GAAHH!! No! Please, let me go! [Dale panics, and the Dead Bug veers out of control]

Dale Gribble

Booooo! I am a high-priced Washington lobbyist, peddling influence! Who wants candy?

Dale Gribble

You wanna tell Cane Skretteburg to knock it off during a rematch today noon? I hope we would agree we had to discuss the horrors we saw on the killing fields of the Family Fun Center.

Dale

When I need to correct Joseph, I tell him he's adopted.

Dale Gribble

Computers don't make errors. What they do, they do on purpose. By now, your name and particulars have been fed into every laptop, desktop, mainframe, and supermarket scanner that collectively make up the global information conspiracy, otherwise known as... "the Beast".

Dale Gribble

Who's not a quitter? My dead friend Hank Hill or my new friend Rusty Shackleford?

Dale

Whatd'ya got under the foil, Mr. Party Pooper, some party poop?

Dale

"I killed eight gophers last year and a purebred Tennessee walking horse that was looking at me funny."

Dale

You have bully-ragged this production and stifled my creativity from Day One. [checks his watch] It is now Day Two. I quit!

Dale Gribble

Boil up some Mountain Dew; it's gonna be a long night.