Ted Wassanasong quotes from King of the Hill

Ted Wassanasong

This was no act of God; look at those sledgehammer marks! It was the act of rednecks, on a drunken rampage.

Ted Wassanasong

Damn it, Kahn, do you want to join Nine Rivers?

Oh yes! Thank you, Ted!

Ted

Welp, you can forget it!

Ted

...Unless you can show Mr. Ho that Hank Hill would be the perfect Nine Rivers member.

What do you want with that chicken-fried loser?

Ted

The PGA has refused to have their tournament at Nine Rivers unless we attract at least one non-Asian member. You deliver me Hank, I will put you up for junior membership.

You will offer me full membership!

Ted

Associate membership?

Full membership!

Hank

Can I ask you something? What and what accessories do I sell for a living?

Ted

Tractors?

Dale

To be fair, Hank, you used to sell tractors.

Hank

Yeah, well, he didn't know that.

Ted Wassanasong

I don't understand. How do you expect to parade around without your uniform?

Oh, my parading days are over. (Ted Wassanasong stares at him) It's like this, if you want someone to play golf with, give me call. If you want someone to feel guilty about the way they choose to live, call someone else!

Bobby

Sir, your son fired our best employee.

Chane

Yeah? Well I should have fired you! ... Dad, fire Bobby!

Bobby

If you're gonna fire anybody, fire Chane. All he does is bring his frat bros in for free sake bombs.

Chane

All you do is sneak out to deliver snacks to my sloppy seconds!

Bobby

Oh, we're going there?

Chane

I'm already there!

Bobby

Well I'm gonna go there too!

Chane

Come on! Let's do this!

Ted Wassanasong

Enough! Enough! I'm not a marriage counselor! Chane, you begged me to buy into this restaurant, and I thought, "Well, at least he doesn't wanna be a professional snowboarder anymore." But the best way to learn any business is from the ground up. I started in the mail room.

Chane

Whoa, dad... you were poor?

Ted

I thought it was helping you, but it's turned you into... this!

Chane

Rude.

Bobby

But true.

Ted

You can't let this business fail, that's why you're going to take Emilio's place in the kitchen.

Chane

Me?

Bobby

Him?! [to Chane] You sure you don't wanna be a professional snowboarder? It is not too late.