This is crazy! I'm calling Bronco Barry. [calls Barry]
Mr. Bronco Barry, sir, you told me we were allowed to keep horses in a residential area in Dallas-
BBarry
No take-backs, mister!
But, what about honesty? I thought we were fellow businessmen.
BBarry
Oh, we are! And I out-businessed you! I've been trying to get rid of that horse for six months, and I ain't paying a large animal vet or some kinda funeral horse home to take him. You know what they charge to bury horses? Huh- do ya?! Two grand! And I wouldn't pay that much to bury my own mammy.
I'm sorry, but pretending to be married to Peggy gave me the confidence to make new friends! I mean, who wouldn't like the kind of man who was able to get Peggy?
You photoshopped my wife's head on some... buxom trollop! Now I have to imagine you looking at that and... and enjoying it! It's a half a commandment short of adultery, Bill!
Please don't blow my cover. Please Hank!
I'm not gonna tell them the truth, because you have to. You started it, and you need to end it.
Look, am I gonna have to kick your ass, "BD?"
You can't push me around anymore. I have the strength that comes from the love of a good woman.
YOU AREN'T MARRIED TO PEGGY!
Uh, Willow, this is Connie. She's not my girlfriend, but actually, even if she was, it would be okay that she slept over, seeing how you practice ethical non-monagomy.
[scoffs] I heard about that when I was at SMU. It's just some BS college girls say to get side-dick.
Excuse me?! ENM is a relationship structure that allows people to have a connection without hurdles like jealousy or expectations.
PWPeter Wolters
I've been telling everyone I know Robata Chane is the place to go.
I knew there was a reason you were my favorite customer.
PWPeter Wolters
Last time the Germans and Japanese teamed up, I wasn't a fan, but this is delicious.
I call it, the Axis of Flavor.
My dad used to work here, so I kinda grew up around football.
I hate being negative, and if I talk about my dad, I end up bitching about that piece-of-shit, Jerry Jones who fired him.
Well, the man has no soul. He fired the late, great Tom Landry, too.
[after Hank catches Khan in his garage] Okay, okay, yes. I'm living in the garage because me and Minh, we got divorced.
Divorced? But we just saw the two of you together earlier tonight.
All for show. Divorce is a mark of shame in the Asian country club community. If they found out, I'd be the lowest of the low, like a Laotian Bill Dautrive. It could taint Connie as good marriage material in the eyes of the Wassanasongs.
Does Connie know about the divorce?
[Kahn peeks outside his garage, before lowering the garage door]
That was unnecessarily dramatic.
Hank Are you watching reality TV? If so, I'll go rotate my lawnmower tires.
I am. There's a new show called My Husband Lied to Me Last Night. But in this episode, he will tell me what really happened at our neighbors house.
Uh, I think you're lying about the title of the show, but I'm gonna let it go. It's like I told ya. Kahn was working on, uh, his new bed frame. [cleans his glasses]
Oh, come on, Hank, you have a tell! Every time you try to lie, you clean your glasses. It was cute when you told Brian Robertson you voted for Obama, but not now.
I'm not cleaning my- I'm just, [grabs his glasses] My eyes were feeling dry and- God-dangit! Okay, look. Khan swore me to secrecy.
So you're completely willing to lie for Kahn, but you could not play along with my bowling story? Your own wife?!
Okay, you win. Kahn and Minh are divorced.
He's living in the garage, and I think he was peeing in a bucket. There was this ammonia smell.
After all that bragging, and putting us down, turns out their marriage is a lie? [very smug] Well, well, well...
See, that's why I didn't wanna tell you. You're gonna wanna throw it in their faces. I promised I would keep the divorce a secret, so you do too, or we could ruin their anniversary party.
Hmm. Sounds like you want me to be an accomplice in your lies, Hank. ... That shut you up.
No, Peggy. Now I am giving you the silent treatment.
Peggy For what?
For how my parents were treating you guys, and Bobby. He did a great job tonight, and didn't get any credit.
Thank you. I am sorry for what you and your family are going through.
It's weird. I knew my parents were divorced, but it's like, real now.
I have always competed with your parents. Out- competed. But one thing we all did right was raise wonderful children. We tied in that. And if you decide one day that marriage is for you, Connie, you will be a great wife to a very lucky man. You are not destined to end up like your parents.
I remember as a kid always feeling better after talking to you. Thank you.
Would you say that I was a better mom than Minh?
Leave me out of that, Mrs. Hill.
[joining Connie on the golf course] I'm sorry for my part in all of that.
Trust me, you're the last person I blame.
You know, it didn't seem like you had a chance to eat all night, so I-
I just broke up with Chane.
[excitedly] You did?! [calming down] I- I'm sorry. Would mango sticky rice make you feel any better?
I know good food can solve any problem, but right now, I could really just use a hug.
Well, I brought that too. [they hug]
