Peggy and Hank in “Kahn-scious Uncoupling”

Peggy

I am. There's a new show called My Husband Lied to Me Last Night. But in this episode, he will tell me what really happened at our neighbors house.

Hank

Uh, I think you're lying about the title of the show, but I'm gonna let it go. It's like I told ya. Kahn was working on, uh, his new bed frame. [cleans his glasses]

Peggy

Oh, come on, Hank, you have a tell! Every time you try to lie, you clean your glasses. It was cute when you told Brian Robertson you voted for Obama, but not now.

Hank

I'm not cleaning my- I'm just, [grabs his glasses] My eyes were feeling dry and- God-dangit! Okay, look. Khan swore me to secrecy.

Peggy

So you're completely willing to lie for Kahn, but you could not play along with my bowling story? Your own wife?!

Hank

Okay, you win. Kahn and Minh are divorced.

Peggy

What?

Hank

He's living in the garage, and I think he was peeing in a bucket. There was this ammonia smell.

Peggy

After all that bragging, and putting us down, turns out their marriage is a lie? [very smug] Well, well, well...

Hank

See, that's why I didn't wanna tell you. You're gonna wanna throw it in their faces. I promised I would keep the divorce a secret, so you do too, or we could ruin their anniversary party.

Peggy

Hmm. Sounds like you want me to be an accomplice in your lies, Hank. ... That shut you up.

Hank

No, Peggy. Now I am giving you the silent treatment.

Peggy

Amateur.