“New Ref in Town” quotes from King of the Hill

Hank

I went with Boomhauer to watch his girlfriend's son's soccer game.

Peggy

Well honey, that is not a bad thing. I, for one, am glad to see that Boomhauer is taking his role as Luke's father-adjascent figure seriously.

Hank

[sighs] I also filled in as referee after everyone turned on Boomhauer. They kicked balls at his head, Peggy. The disrespect for authority was just so un-American.

Peggy

Our country has changed, Hank. Do you know that the cashier at Frumpy's asks for tips now? I came here for some sensible shorts, not to get fleeced!

Hank

I love soccer, Peggy.

Peggy

[gasps] You are lucky my father is not alive, Hank Hill. He did not approve of soccer, no siree. He'd ban me from being with a bad boy like you. Although, it's almost like we have a dirty little secret. Hey Hank, why don't you put on that referee uniform? I haven't seen your calves during the day in a decade.

Hank

Peggy, the windows are open!

Peggy

I know. Are you gonna put me in the penalty box?

Hank

Now that's hockey. I'm reffing soccer.

Peggy

Don't ruin it. [pulls him to the bedroom]

You can't bring a horse into our garage. Get rid of it by tomorrow, or I'm going to evict you.

Joseph

Our upstairs neighbor has a dog!

You have a HORSE! And it just shat all over my wife's Ford Focus!

Bobby

This is crazy! I'm calling Bronco Barry. [calls Barry]

Goddangit, hello!

Bobby

Mr. Bronco Barry, sir, you told me we were allowed to keep horses in a residential area in Dallas-

No take-backs, mister!

Bobby

But, what about honesty? I thought we were fellow businessmen.

Oh, we are! And I out-businessed you! I've been trying to get rid of that horse for six months, and I ain't paying a large animal vet or some kinda funeral horse home to take him. You know what they charge to bury horses? Huh- do ya?! Two grand! And I wouldn't pay that much to bury my own mammy.