[Bobby, Connie, and Joseph walk up to Wally.]
WWally
I believe you guys are first-time callers, so I'm only going to charge you a buck.
Why? Because beer's not TV-14? Set me up, my man.
[Wally hands Bobby a 40 ounce bottle of Alamo beer. Bobby is hesitant to take it.]:
WWally
What's the matter? 40 ounces for a buck is a good deal.
Oh, yeah. I just usually drink 30 ouncers, but hey, it's the weekend.
[Moments later, The kids are in the bounce house, groaning drunkenly.]
[huddling up against Connie] Come here. Jus' think, Connie girl, when we're grown-ups and marrieds, we'll get to do this every night.
Yeah, I want a house just like this-- with soft floors and plastic windows.
[staring at the ceiling] Look at the stars. There's... so many of them.
WWally
You know the best way to sober up? Bounce around a lot-- get it out of your system.
[The kids try to stand up, but are too drunk to do so. They start laughing as Hank finds them.]
Hey, Dad! I like beer! [immediately turns around and vomits.]
You, you, and you go home now! [Grabs Wally] You get the hell out of here! [Wally blows a puff of smoke at his face, and Hank drops Him to the ground.] That does it! [Storms up to Bill's house] I've had about enough of this Christmas crap! Bill! [to Bill] Dang it, Bill! Some of us are trying to raise kids in this neighborhood. Good kids. The kind that don't try to kill their parents in their sleep. Kids like Bobby.
Wally would never kill me. He told me so! That kind of communication is very important in a father-son style relationship.
What? Is that my belt Sander?
No. It's mine. Wally bought it and gave it to me as a present.
Yeah? Then why does it have the same serial number as my warranty card?
I Did Ten Sit Ups And I Try To Do A Push Up Can I Go Back To Sleep Now
You Had A Chance To Sleep Last Night Mister But You Decided To Go Parting Instead Now Get A Rag And Start Washing Windows
Wally Was Not Your Family My God I've Thrown Out Propane Tanks It Would Make You Better Son Than Wally
[during "The Flowers of Time"] Hank, are you crying?
No, just watching the movie.
Hank, you're scaring me. What the hell is going on?
I'm okay. Please continue to look at the screen!
Hank Hill is weeping like a little French girl!
Interior scene, the Alamo. Hank comes across an array of various state and national flags. He reads the plaque next to them.
(reading) "These thirty-two flags honor the birthplaces of the Alamo defenders. Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio, New York..." New York?
Hank notices and lifts the state flag of New York to see.
(continuing) "...they were born across America, but they died Texas heroes."
(outraged) You brought charcoal into our house!
I didn't know what it was! Luanne asked me to hold it for her, I thought it was drugs!
There's soot under my boy's nails. You don't get that from a clean-burning fuel.
Then you don't get the rich, smoky flavor either.
Shut your mouth! Now, we're going to sit here and pray.
(Into a tape recorder) 11:16: Octavio speaks into tape recorder, thus leaving crucial evidence, stupid idiot! Octavio must be gotten rid of!
[Dale opens his glove-box to reveal a pistol...which he moves aside. Then he takes out a notepad and begins to write.]
(monotone) Dear Octavio, this is the hardest letter I've ever had to write...
[After dale puts Chip through a wood-chipper]
You'll never put that creep back together! I mixed him in with two chairs and a toboggan! Ha ha ha!
You're next! I'm kicking your ass through that thing!!
[inhales chloroform] You wouldn't hit an unconscious maaaaa.... [passes out]
