“Episode Two” quotes from Hell's Kitchen

(to the Blue Team) Okay, listen up, here we go. On order, two covers table 24. Appetisers: one spaghetti, one Salad Saint-Jacques. Entrées: one duck, one chicken. Let's go, all together.

Would you please repeat it chef?

Move your fat ass, and read it yourself, okay?

Fair enough, chef.

Four minutes to the window, one spaghetti, one Salad of Saint-Jacques.

Yes, chef.

Four minutes?

We need two quails, chef, with that?

Two quail? Gabe--

No, no, I know chef--

Sh--shut the fuck up...

Yes, chef.

Would you [voice cracks] MIND not being so rude?!

Yes, chef.

There's quail nowhere on that ticket!

Yes, chef.

Just listen!

Yes, chef!

Concentrate!

Yes, chef!

4 minutes to the window!

Yes, chef!

One spaghetti of lobster -

Yes, chef!

- one scallops!

Yes, chef!

Now, would you like me to fucking e-mail that to your BlackBerry?

No, chef.

MOVE YOUR ARSE.

Yes, chef!

(to Maribel, after she spilled the spaghetti) Oh my God almighty. Right now, here's what I suggest you do: buy a restaurant and put one table in there. Any more than that, you'd be fucked!

One duck and one chicken!

I have a duck and a chicken ready for it's sides.

(to Giacomo) And taste that. Taste that there. Just taste that. Why has he fried the cabbage?

I don't know chef.

It's like glue! Is that what you want to do is to start sneaking things in there?

No chef.

So, you agree it tastes like shit.

You still served it?

Sorry, chef.

Hey, hey, and you want a restaurant in Vegas?

A lot of work to do chef.

Hey, why don't you become a hairdresser? Poncing around with women's hair?

All I want to know is we're going to eat tonight or not.

Honestly, for the first time in my fucking cooking career, yeah? I'm in a kitchen with muppets. Thank you, sir.

Ladies, just come here. Just stand there and tell what you see in the dining room. [crosses over to the blue kitchen] Hey, you, hello? Gabe. You, (to Tom) Sinbad. Shut it. (to Giacomo) Mop-head, hello? Just come here all four of you. Just stand there and tell what you see in the dining room. Right in front of your very own eyes, a death of a restaurant. [cuts to the empty dining room] Pathetic. Shut it down!