Your palates are shit, so taste everything on this platter.
“Episode Four” · Season 3, Episode 4
In this episode: Gordon (9), Red team (3), Jean-Philippe (3), Josh Wahler (2), Scott Leibfried (1), Rock (1), Bonnie (1), Melissa Firpo (1)
Melissa. You're running the appetisers, yes?
Yes.
You're running ahead, and no-one's with you. You're not a team player. Right now, I need some team fucking spirit!
RTRed team
Yes, chef!
Or I'll kick you out, and I'll do the fucking section myself!
Yes, chef!
I know what your game is. You just want to get all the appetisers out.
No chef, I swear to God that's not true.
Look good, [pretends to put makeup on] Oh, fuck me. [pretends to adjust his boobs] Oh, fuck me! Fuck off. Piss off. Fucking bimbo.
We're waiting on you Bonnie! Is that just sliced in half there and put back in the pan?
[points at chicken on the cutting board] This chef?
Oh no, Bonnie, not that. You're fucking here, you stupid cat. D'you know what? Every time I've asked you a sensible question, you give me a dumb blonde answer.
Sorry chef.
Right, let's go back to the beginning shall we?
Yes, chef.
Have you just sliced the chicken in half and stuck it back in the oven?
Yes, chef.
Is it dry?
It doesn't feel dry but I'll start over.
It's fucking lost its texture. Right now, you're all screwing your fucking selves. Is the chicken in for the langoustine?
[points to the same chicken] Yes, chef. Right here.
Fuck me. No that's the main course one.
It's right here.
Listen, Hey, listen, it's not in.
It's not in but I'm putting it in now.
Right so - here we go again - When are you going to fucking shut up? I'VE HAD ENOUGH NOW! Stop lying to me! You're saying yes all the fucking time, yet nothing's DONE! WORK TOGETHER!
RTRed team
Yes, chef!
[A tall lady comes to the hotplate demanding for food]
Jean-Philippe, what table is the lady from, please? So we can find out where food is, please?
23 chef.
23, blue, yes?
Yes, chef.
Take the giraffe back to her table please. Service please, let's go.
LLady
Excuse me?! I'm asking for service and he's being rude.
Let's go. (to the tall lady) Fuck off, will you? Move your fucking ass, will you?
[Gordon checks on wellingtons brought up by Vinnie]
What did he do to them?
He was flashing them in the oven after they were cooked.
(comes back to the workstation) Okay guys. Just stop, stop, stop, stop, STOP!!!! Blue donkeys, come here! Touch that, touch that. IT'S RARE!! You (Vinnie), look at me. You don't care anymore, you know that?
(checking Vinnie's wellingtons) Vinnie!
Yes, chef?
Vinnie, come on chef. Look, raw pastry's trimmed off the bottom. That's the shit you don't send to the customers. It's still left on. Tell him to trim them please?
RRock
Trim them real quick.
Chef Vinnie!
Yes, chef!
Look at me. Can you trim it properly?
Yes, chef.
And bring it to the hotplate and cut the pastry with a straighted knife. Donkey! Is it every other one is right? Or is it one in three is right?
No, chef. This one's perfect.
This one's perfect. What have you overcooked? How much have you binned?
I fucked a lot up but I'm on it now.
[seeing Vinnie's wasted meat] Oh, no!
(interview) I kept my own private garbage bin on my station and I had six wellington orders and one chicken in my bin.
Hey, a restaurant wouldn't even open with that. You'd close it before you got anywhere. [slams the tray on Vinnie's station]
(interview) It was a mistake. It's an expensive mistake.
Oh! Fuck me senseless!
[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with pasta]
Table 20, spaghetti undercooked chef.
Blue, yes?
Oui chef.
Where's fucking pretty-boy sushi man (Josh), where is he?
Right here, chef.
Complaint: raw spaghetti. No don't fucki-- [grunts] The fuck you call that? What do you think you are? WWF... Wrestling? Dick. Taste it!
[Gordon gathers both teams to the pass]
Let me just tell you something: The customers are deciding which team is winning this evening. Your fate is in their hands, yet you still send crap! One more dish back, and I'm going to fucking shut it down. Now get a grip!
I'm just getting so fucking wound up. It's not going anywhere. We're not getting anything out. Everything's fucking done, clearly given up, and it's fucking embarrassing.
RTRed Team
No, chef!
[returning with a dish] Chef?
Aw, fuck off! Oh, fuck off! [kicks a bin] Fuck off! What did they say?
Chicken being cold, chef.
Ah?
Chicken being cold.
Right, hey, gentlemen. Hey, ladies, yeah, all look good well over. Hey, Barbie! (Bonnie) Do your hair before you come over! Stone-cold chicken, fucking salty fucking garnish, yeah? And fucking - there you go chef, there you go. [drops the dish on the floor] Fucking clear down.
(interview) Chef was furious. He dropped the plate, he said "Fuck off! Shut down!" And we were SO goddamn close again! Damn it.
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