And then, he.
S9 E9Vision: Impossible
S9 E10Familyland
[Francine eats cookies while the other Smiths are preoccupied, until...]
[sniffs] Mom's cinnamon cookies?!
Terrific. No one cares about me. They just care about my cookies.
What’s that smell?
S9 E11Cock of the Sleepwalk
[just after his attempt to assassinate another terrorist has failed, Stan discovers that there are Gummi Bears instead of bullets in his rifle]
Gummi Bears?! He replaced my bullets with Gummi Bears from the mini bar! That's gonna cost me $7! [walks up to the mini bar, which is riddled with cash] Oh. He left money. Well, I can't be mad about-- Wait! That's my money!
[repeatedly tries to kill the IHOP terrorist] This is terrible! You're hurting us both almost equally! Nobody's winning here! This is awful! Aw, man! He's still reachin'! Aw, gee whiz! [repeatedly slams a tray on the terrorist] Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! [the terrorist is finally dead] [sighs] It's over.
CCustomer
[sets to leave] I won't have what he's having.
S9 E12Introducing the Naughty Stewardesses
You know that beautiful girl Jenna I've kinda had my eye on?
Is this the same girl whose picture you put in your pajama bottoms before you go to bed?
You know about that?
Who do you think takes your pajamas off at night?
[after hitting Steve in the head (Roger's) with a vase] Aw, I shouldn't have hit him in the face. That's my face.
S9 E13I Ain't No Holodeck Boy
[Steve, Snot, Barry, and Toshi have lost the video game in which they were to stop Hitler's mother from giving birth to him]
I know he's gonna be a monster, but I do love babies.
[after Stan has abandoned Steve and his friends in the woods]
I can't believe my dad ditched us here.
[in Japanese] And he dishonored us by taking our cell phones.
Guys, how long do you think we can last out here?
I don't know. But if we're gonna die, I'm not goin' out a virgin.
[he hugs a nearby tree]
Well, if trees count, then I'm Wilt Chamberlain.
S9 E14Stan Goes on the Pill
[Stan looks at his reflection in the mirror after transforming into a woman]
Oh, my God! Sir! Either I've gone crazy, or I've turned into a woman!
What's the difference?
[he and Stan laugh]
Hey, screw you!
[points at Stan] See that woman over there? I'm going to rail her.
BBartender
[rings a bell] Oh! We got one!
[other bartenders approach]
ABAll bartenders
[sing] You say you're gonna rail her.
We're really glad to hear.
And after you've completed,
she'll be grinning ear to ear! HEY!
I love the family atmosphere here.
S9 E15Honey, I'm Homeland
GGlass
[on radio] Hello. I'm Ira Glass. With a $35 pledge, you can get the feeling... of paying for radio. It's an indescribable... sensation.
AArtemis
[shows Hayley a video demonstration] By precisely targeting a barrage of missiles your dad acquired for us, we'll reshape the contemptible fascists of Mt. Rushmore into history's greatest leftists!
Sean Penn, Michael Moore, and Captain Planet.
Why didn't you change Jefferson?
Well, he freed the slaves, so he stays.
S9 E16She Swill Survive
Mom, hands. Eggs. Make.
[to Francine] You! Hold it right there! [to Hayley] You! Make your own eggs! [to his reflection in the mirror] You! Stay beautiful.
[after the cab crashes] Did the cabbie survive?
No. Damn fool was driving sober.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.