Stan Smith quotes from American Dad!

Stan Smith

[carries a gun, searching the house for an intruder] Osama? Is that you?

Stan Smith

Rigging elections is my bread and butter, Roger. You know how many votes George Bush actually got in the first election? Seven.

Stan

[fighting a stripper in a Bo-Peep outfit] Hey Bo-Peep, I know where you can find your sheep, in hell!

Stan

[talking about euthanising a racoon] She said it was the most compassionate thing she'd ever seen.... And I got to kill something. It was a magical moment.

Stan

[after electrocuting terrorists] I just made a killing in the shock market!

Stan

[gets in the passenger side of a car] Stan Smith, CIA! To the Smithsonian! Oh wait, this my car. [shifts over to the driver's side] Even better!

Stan

[after Steve calls him a monster] I'm not a monster. [a skull pops out of the boiler. Stan kicks it back in.]

Stan

[after his car runs out of gas] Stupid gas-guzzler--that I as an American have every right to drive.

Stan

[abdicating his position as Deacon] It's an bizarre situation. Not 8 Simple Rules, let's-keep-it-going-after-the-father-died bizarre, but close.

Stan

So, what if Chuck White is deacon now? So what if he has a bigger paycheck and a bigger car and a nicer house? None of that matters, because I've got-- [looks at Steve, smiles, then looks at Hayley. Does a face and points at her; unfazed at Steve, and looks at his plate. Peers at Steve at depressed state, looks at his plate once more.]

Stan

Michael Moore? Oh, you mean Michael bin Laden!

Stan

All right, everyone stay calm. We may be in Saudi Arabia, but it doesn't mean we have to panic or blame your mother.

Stan

I'm find us a satellite so we can watch Lost when I get home. Just because we're stuck in this wasteland doesn't mean it's not Wednesday!

Stan

Quick!, cover your mouth. Thats how they enter your body to lay their eggs

Stan

Oh, God, we're all going to die... and our lives meant nothing, absolutely nothing! L- I mean, uh, something comforting.