Francine (irritated): Jeff's serenading Hayley again.
I'm gonna shoot him in the throat.
Stan, WAIT!...........I wanna watch.
S6 E1100 A.D.
S6 E2Son of Stan
Gotta go put a popsicle on the ol' starfish.
(Roger finds his way to Thailand and talks to a passing beach waiter)
I'll have three twelve-year-old boys, no MSG.
(Hayley and Jeff knock Roger into the pool and escape on a helicopter rope ladder)
Roger (as he climbs out of the pool; to Hayley and Jeff): Are you crazy pushing me in the pool?! I have forty hits of ecstacy in my pocket! (to the kids in the pool): Buckle up, kids. (to the parents at poolside): They're gonna have to go to the hospital.
S6 E3Best Little Horror House in Langley Falls
Hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina, boner!
Then maybe later I'll introduce her to... THE THICK-NESSSSSSS!!
S6 E4Stan's Food Restaurant
What is this?
Your dream restaurant. Roger's Laotian Adventure.
What about my scale model?
Stan, it took quite a bit of doing...but I managed to wipe my butt with it.
So you weren't molested?
No, that wasn't until four or five years later. (cut to flashback of young Stan clutching fearfully to a swinging rope as a priest wearing nothing but a clerical collar and swimming trunks grabs for him, waiting for Stan to let go): It was my first week at Christian camp. But I'm not ready to talk about Father Roy.
JSJohnson's Waiter
Hey, little guy. I heard your dad walked out on ya, 'cause he didn't love you enough to stay. But I know what will make you feel better.
[narrating] At that moment, I was a hundred percent sure I was gonna get molested. But it was even better.
SHSign Hung Outside Stan's Restaurant By Roger
"Our Clumsy Cooks Have AIDS!"
S6 E5White Rice
[talking to the new fish in the bowl] Hi, I'm Klaus. What's your sign? Pisces?
You know why Chinese couples can't have their own Caucasian babies? Because two Wongs don't make a white.
In 1st grade, they sent me home with lice. My parents said "Oh, 'cause she has lice. She has it for runch everyday." I can say it, you can't.
S6 E6There Will Be Bad Blood
After we ran out of money, Jeff suggested that we prostitute ourselves. At first, Jeff was saying he was only going to do women, but then... that wasn't working out. So, long short story, Jeff's on butt rest, and we moved to the desert.
Francine, touch me.
What?
Touch me. It'll provide us with all the warmth we need. I saw it on Man vs. Wild. That feels amazing.
I'm not touching you.
I am.
That feels amazing.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.