American Dad! quotes

527 total quotes

Billy: A fake rock? This world would never ceases to amaze and inspire me!

Cee Lo Green: Well, hello there. My name...It's not important. Well, what is is the next half hour. You're gonna see a cautionary tale that may greatly influence your next hot tub purchase.

Cleveland Brown: I don't even know where the hell I am.
Stan Smith: [pulls out a gun] Looter!
Cleveland Brown: [also pulls out a gun] Self-defense!
[Two guns are heard cocking and we pan to see Peter Griffin aiming at Stan and Cleveland]

Cleveland Brown: Peter, what are you doing? You know me!
Peter Griffin: Everybody, shut up and let me think! Just let me think!
[Francine comes out the front door]

Francine Smith: Stan, have you...
[Stan accidentally shoots at Francine, causing her to fall down and moan]

Francine: All right, a reverse BM it is. Hey, that came out funny *gasp* Was that a joke, do ya think?

Francine: Dan Ansom Handsome gives me quite the wide-on.

Francine: Stop talking, fish.

Francine: The best thing you can do for your family is stand back and do nothing.
Stan: Francine, let's be honest, that's not going to happen.

Francine: We can't ride the bus, we're white!

Girlfriend: Were going to have so many babys.
Roger: (Pushes her head slowly under water) No, no, no, no.

Hayley: [to Stan] That phrase the old man said to you was in Latin. But, uh, I can't find the translation.
Klaus: What did he say exactly?
Hayley: Um, it was something...[says something in Latin]
Klaus: [says the correct phrase in Latin] It means, "Walk in my shoes and you will know." It's a really good hex.
Stan: How do you know so much about hexes?
Klaus: I do a lot of reading, you know, 'cause I sit in the ******* bowl all ******* day.

Jonah: Those pizza bagels are my life. I make those tiny bagels by hand.

Peter Griffin: A black and a white talking as if it's normal!
[We pull back to reveal the Griffin house next to the Brown and Smith houses as Peter walks up to Stan and Cleveland]

Peter Griffin: [laughs] Oh, man. Classic "American Dad".