Steve Smith quotes from American Dad! ... TV Quotes Database

Played by Scott Grimes

3rd most-quoted character in American Dad!: in 206 of its 929 quotes
Most scenes with: Stan Smith (61), Roger (47), Francine Smith (33)

Lines by Steve Smith 44

Steve

[after holding hands with Betsy] I touched her hand... her hand touched her boob. By the transitive property, I got some boob! Algebra's awesome!

S1 E7 Deacon Stan, Jesus Man

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Steve

Funny, I always wanted a pool filled with cherry Jell-O. Well, in the end I got it. I got a lot of other things on my rise to stardom. Women... respect... that joke about the ten-inch pianist... Can't believe I never got that before.

S1 E15 Star Trek

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Steve

So now I was a published writer, but my life had become boring, as boring as a bad metaphor. Or simile. Whatever, I'm not a writer.

S1 E15 Star Trek

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Steve

[to evil Barry] Sure, you can kill me with your gun, but are you willing to try something much more elaborate and unnecessary?

S1 E22 With Friends Like Steve's

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Steve

(to Barry) Hey, that's my dad's Tara Reid collector's plate. You can't touch that. You know how much that'll be worth in a few months when she's dead?

S1 E22 With Friends Like Steve's

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Steve

No, no, Debbie. This break-up has nothing to do with my dad at all. It's just... you know, this is a really bad time for me. The Ghostbusters box set just came out. What, with that and the new Doom being released, I don't know I can give you the time you need. Forget me, big beautiful creature! [cries]

(Stan is at an anorexia support group, consisting entirely of anorexic teenage girls)

S2 E2 The American Dad After School Special

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Steve

[angry] Son of a bitch!!!!

(after Hayley kills off Steve's character in the video game)

S2 E5 Dungeons and Wagons

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Steve

Chlorine. Bromine. Crap! Astatine! How could I forget? It has the words teen and ass in it.

S2 E12 A.T. The Abusive Terrestrial

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Steve

[explaining how he got tickets to Battlestar Galactica On Ice] How does anybody anything?

(After Stan tells the story of how he married Joanna at the beach)

S2 E16 When a Stan Loves a Woman

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Klaus [After Steve and Roger throw him down a water slide]: Allow me to impress upon you the severe mistake you have made. For years my conduct has been largely benign. And yet, without provocation, you have severed our détente and forced me to unleash upon you the vengeful flames of a thousand suns. You shall curse your mothers for the day of your birth. So go now, go, and begin your life of fear, knowing that when you least expect it, the looming sword of Damocles will crash down upon you, cleaving you in twain and as you gaze upon the smoking wreckage that was once your life, you will regret the day you crossed the WRONG FISH!!

[beat]

Steve

[to Roger] He didn't think it was funny.

S3 E7 Surro-Gate

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Steve

[explaining how he got tickets to Battlestar Galactica On Ice] How does anybody anything? Look, they're 20 bucks a pop. You want 'em or not? 'Cause if you don't want 'em, I got other people I can sell 'em to. Bruce Willis wants 'em. That girl who played Tank Girl. What's her name? Yeah, she wants 'em.

S3 E16 Spring Break Up

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Steve

You wanna get nuts?!... let's get nuts!! [smashes glass with a strike gun]

S4 E5 Escape from Pearl Bailey

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Steve

I want you to "Turn a Trick" with this teddy bear.

S4 E5 Escape from Pearl Bailey

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(Before Steve and his friends get beat up)

Steve

If we're lucky, We might just take a few of them with us!!

(After Steve and his friends get beat up)

Steve

We're not taking any of them with us!!!

S4 E5 Escape from Pearl Bailey

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Steve

Anyone get a boner when Akiko slapped me? [he stands up and walks past a table of girls, hunched over] You know what's also funny? Walking like a gorilla?

S4 E18 Weiner of Our Discontent

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