So this is a refugee camp? I have to say, not that bad. There's sun, sand - it's like Arizona. But here they probably celebrate Martin Luther King Day.
S2 E1Camp Refoogee
[wipes glasses and pauses] Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda.
[significantly fatter] Thank God we're going home. I think I gained the African 20. Seriously, I threw away more food than I ate.
In the words of every sitcom character in the early 90's, and everyone in the Midwest through the rest of the 90's, "Don't go there."
Steve, camp is an amazing place. You get to swim in the lake, drink bug juice, ring the bell if you win the Camp-A-Lympics. Oh, and then there's "camp love." It's such an intense experience, like winning the Grammy for Best R&B performance, duo, or group.
Dad, for the last time, you were not in Boyz II Men.
(sings) Whatever.
Good news, I found a camp that still has an opening.
Dad, I don't want to go to camp. It's hot and there's always something crawling in your sleeping bag, like a spider or a counselor. Just let me tend to my posies. (leaves)
Stan, he doesn't want to go to camp.
But I spent my summers at camp, and I had the time of my life. I want him to have that same experience. And besides, gardening's gay.
I'll have you know, James Coburn had a garden.
I'm sick of your lies about Coburn!
(smells plant) Ahh, basil and snail poison; the sweet smell of summer.
Hey, you should plant some of those, uh... I don't know what you call them here... Hitler melons.
Just so we're clear, you will not return home from Africa without my son.
I'm going with you. If I can just hold a refugee's hand and look them in the eye, they'll know someone cares.
(laughs) Okay, Bono, settle down.
Dad, you have to help me get Makeva back.
But I don't know what to do.
(slaps Stan; mockingly) "I don't know what to do." You can act like a man!
There's no hitting at Camp Refoogee.
Look, the Bawango rebels ruined our camp and took one of your campers. Are you going to let them get away with that?
(The refugees gather around Stan)
Don't move, Steve. Just give them your credit card and we'll cancel it when we get home.
Dad, these are your campers. They're rallying around you.
Oh, yes, right, right. Thanks, fellas.
Dad, they just kidnapped Makeva!
All right, I understand "kidnapped." But what is "Makeva"? Ugh, I bet that little girl they stole could have told me.
I hate the last day of camp. You better write me when you get home, H-Rod.
HRHot Rod
We don't have homes. The rebels destroyed everything.
Oh, right. I guess I don't like thinking about your horrible situation. (steps on soapbox; to the camera) Just like the rest of the world. Shame on you!
S2 E2The American Dad After School Special
DDebbie
Welcome to my sanctuary. Look at them scurrying around like ants. Go ahead, exercise all you want. You'll never escape the smoky death of times magnifying glass.
Wow, that's a little dark.
DDebbie
Not at all. Life is a banquet and death is dessert.
I love dessert!
Here she comes.
(looks at Debbie through the window) Where's Debbie? Behind that fat girl?
No, Dad, that's...
Is the fat girl going to lead us to Debbie?
No, that's...
She's carrying a purse. She must have a map to Debbie in her purse.
Dad, that's Debbie.
To the panic room!
Stan, you're being ridiculous. We have a guest out there.
Please, Francine, show some panic. Our son is dating a fatty.
Dad, that's awful. Plus-size women drive our economy with their purchases of Garfield books and Haagen-Dazs.
You apologize to your son.
For what? You brought fat into our house.
You'd like Debbie if you got to know her, Dad. There's a lot more to her than you think.
There's more of her?!
Ja. Your suit is stuffed tighter than, um, some funny German word. Uh, sorry. I'm kinda running out of fish shtick. [gasp] Oh, and just like that I'm back!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.