[after a giant inflatable gorilla breaks his fall and it deflates]
'Twas beauty killed the beast.
S9 E17Rubberneckers
[after his last attempt to remove the wine stain from the couch has failed, Roger lights a match and sets it on fire]
[leaves the den] We need a new couch!
S9 E18Permanent Record Wrecker
TThicke
And the pappy goes to... my man, Stan Smith!
[Stan comes up on stage to accept his award]
Thank you, Alan Thicke. This is amazing.
[suddenly, the background, which is the back of the garage door, opens up, revealing Thicke's wife in her car]
TThicke
Honey, I told ya, I'm using the garage for my awards show! Park on the street!
ASArmy soldier
I'm so sick of this crap, Alan!
You're ruining my thing!
But he still has his job, right? I can keep my finery?
ASArmy soldier
It's come to our attention that your son's run out of options. The army'll take him.
Get outta here, you damn vulture! [slams the door, then opens it again] Thank you for your service.
S10Steve and Snot's Test-Tubular Adventure
[Steve and Snot are standing at a girls dressing room collecting hair from the blond]
Field day!
The perfect DNA sample! All we need is another one and-
SOShop Owner
[arrives] What are you two doing here?
I know it looks bad, two teenage boys in a girls' dressing room, but I can assure you, we are only here to collect pubic hair.
[outside, Steve and Snot are caught and thrown out of the store by security]
Darn! We only got one DNA sample!
SOShop Owner
And stay out, perverts! [spits]
[he tries to catch the spit in slow motion] D N A! [e screams as he falls to the floor as Snot checks on him if he is okay; downstairs, Steve is laying on the floor and he takes off his glasses blood starts flowing from his body]
[after inserting the DNA, Steve and Snot activate the cloning machine]
What are you gonna name yours?
I want mine to have a sexy stripper name, like Honey.
I'm gonna name mine after my great grandmother: Glitter.
Naming your sex clone after your great grandmother. That's a nice way to honor her.
[when Steve's cloning plan works, out of the machine come, not teenage girls as expected, but babies]
[screams; pushes buttons repeatedly] Unclone! Unclone! Control-Z! Control-Z!
S10News Glance with Genevieve Vavance
Jeez, Steve. Four gallons of Lubriderm?
Steve (rubs his face): You try living with eczema.
GGroban
That ballad was supposed to be my Candle in the Wind, you dicks!
S10The Longest Distance Relationship
[to Hayley, who hasn't left her room for weeks] You made a big one! Thanks for using the newspaper this time. Covered the whole comic section. Bet that's not the first time Cathy's had that done on her face.
[after Matt presents the Smiths with a new house to replace the burnt one] Did someone just drop a house on me?!
[as he and Sinbad cross through the wormhole to Earth] Wow! The wormhole! It's so beautiful, like staring into the face of God! It's unbelievable! We... are... INFINITE!!
S11Roger Passes the Bar
I'm with Beezus on this one, guys. Ramona went into her room. No permission! The sign said "do not enter".
"Do not enter the kingdom of Heaven"! Beezus is a Christ figure! Her name rhymes with Jesus! [points at a page in his book] It's right there!
S11A Boy Named Michael
[having seen Roger on TV, disguised as Terry and Greg's adopted child] Roger is their adopted baby?!
But that can't be! I just saw Roger sleeping in the attic! He was 2 pillows and a soccer ball. Oh, wait a minute.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.