Avery Bullock quotes from American Dad!

Bullock

Reverse memory erasing? Now that would be science fiction.

Bullock

Oh, look. Miss Pinkerton fainted at the market buying canned salmon for her puss-puss. Get up, Smith! I have no choice but to suspend you until you deal with your weight problem.

Bullock

Gentleman do what ever it takes to empty our coffers.

Avery Bullock

No one's that perfect and farts that deep.

Bullock

I'm going to fuck this fucker in the tushie! Hand me the anal-tarring brush!

Stan

This midnight fishing is great.

Avery

Sounds to me like someone doesn't want to go home.

Stan

Yeah, I'm laying low. Today is the anniversary of a huge fight me and Francine got into last year.

Yeah? What about?

Stan

Oh, I forgot our anniversary. [his coworkers look at him in realisation] I'm never gonna do that again!

I...

Stan

[screams]

Avery

There it is!

Avery Bullock

Dick, I believe you're up.

I don't have anything for show and tell. I just found out I have liver cancer.

Avery Bullock

I'm giving you a zero for the day.

Avery Bullock

Our Alien Task Force clearly needs some rejiggering. Ray, you're no longer in charge.

Of what?

Avery Bullock

The Alien Task Force.

What the hell's that?

Avery Bullock

The task force you've been in charge of!

Oh. How did I do?

Avery Bullock

I need a new team leader.

Sir, I'm your man. I will not rest until the alien and all his accomplices are brought to just...

Stan

[to Bullock; pointing at Jackson] He told me he hates you.

Avery Bullock

What? Jackson, is this true?

...Yes.

Avery Bullock

Get out of my sight! Smith, how do you feel about me?

Stan

You're okay, I guess.

Avery Bullock

Good, then you're the man for this job.

Bullock

Stan, this is Coco.

[to Stan] Got any cigarettes?

Stan

Uh, no.

Then go suck it.

Bullock

[to Stan] Isn't she great?!

Avery Bullock

Once again, C.I.A. body-doubles are for work purposes ONLY, people. Using your double to finish making love to a Jet Blue stewardess - because you were too drunk - is a definite no-no! [Glances at Saunders] Saunders...

Did you blab? Why'd you tell people?

C'mon, it was my first sloppy seconds!

Stan

Hello?

Stan! Hayley and Jeff broke up!

Stan

So? She breaks up with Jeff at least every other week.

You don't understand! This time, he broke up with her.

Now you gonna apologize?

Bullock

I apologize... to the maids at the Red Roof Inn who had to clean the curtains after I wiped Hayley's excitement all over them!

[shocked] You have a mother...and you just said all that. I'm gonna call your mama and tell her you just said that.

Bullock

[strained] Don't.

Stan

How would you like it if your wife worked here?

Bullock

Oh, I'd love it. Is there an opening for a woman who bangs every black man she meets at a Red Lobster parking lot?

Stan

Oh, my God! Sir! Either I've gone crazy, or I've turned into a woman!

Bullock

What's the difference?

Stan

Hey, screw you!

Bullock

[points at Stan] See that woman over there? I'm going to rail her.

[rings a bell] Oh! We got one!

[sing] You say you're gonna rail her.

Bullock

I love the family atmosphere here.