Martin Prince quotes from The Simpsons

[taking an orange out of the cooler) Hey Simpson, race ya!

Bart

[taking an apple out] First one to the front of the bus gets Martin's lunch money.

Martin

What?

Bart

Go apple!

Go orange!

Go banana!

What was that?

Lisa

It sounded like a silo tipping over.

Bart

Look, the snow's melting! [Martin licks the melted snow]

Martin

With a little help from our friend, sodium chloride! [Nelson begins to punch him, and Nibbles, the hamster comes to Skinner, in a Gym Dodge ball sack]

Skinner

You did it, Nibbles! Now, chew through my ball sack.

Huh? [Chalmers comes in a snow mobile]

Chalmers

Skinner!

Skinner

Oh, Superintendent Chalmers!

Chalmers

What are you doing in that ridiculous duffel, Seymour? And is that burning literature I smell?

Skinner

Uh- W-W-Well, sir, I, uh-

Chalmers

There'd better be a good explanation for this.

Bart

There is, sir.

Chalmers

Ah, then I'm happy. [He speeds away on a snow mobile]

Martin

G'morning dinguses! What are you doing, touching each others butts?

Dolph

You're so dead you're alive!

Ow!

Lisa

[giggles]

Martin

Pardon my birdie, I misjudged the privellian winds.

YOU EMBARRASSED ME IN FRONT OF LISA!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Lisa

Milhouse, what's gotten into you?

Over the years a lotta people have hurted me! Good thing I kept this list. [Shows Lisa a list of people have wronged him and then chuckles evilly]

Lisa

No, no, you already got your revenge!

You wouldn't give me Chinese Cuts in the lunch line! [Inflicts Wendell a Wedgie] You laughed when I threw up in the Glass blowing tour! [Inflicts Lewis a Wedgie] Girls like you better! [Inflicts Richard a Stop Hitting Yourself] Your parents are married! [Inflicts the rest of the kids a Stop Hitting Yourself, Wedgie and Wet Willie]

Bart

Ay, caramba! [Back at the present] That's the only line I get in your stupid story?

Lisa

There are no small parts, just small actors.

[Back at the story, Milhouse keeps inflicting punishments on his enemies]

This is my first day at this school! I haven't done anything to you!

You will! This is prevenge! [Inflicts Freshman Facial on the kid an falls on his face in a mud puddle, then Groundskeeper Willie walks by and sees the kid and Milhouse]

Willie

Well, look, it's Milhouse! What's the power glove for? Opening the cap on his weirdo pills? [Milhouse inflicts Ultimate Noogie on Willie which severes his head off, though he's still alive]

Principal Skinner

[walks by] Willie, clean up this mess!

Willie

Alright! [Starts licking his blood]

Lisa

Milhouse, don't you see? You're addicted to revenge!

You'll learn to love it when you're my queen!

Lisa

I see. [Chuckles nervously] While it would be an honor to be your queen...

Go on.

Lisa

I feel it would be best if we just stay as friends.

NOBODY SPARES MY FEELINGS!! [Gets ready to shoot Lisa but starts to decide not to]

I can't do it, I can't hurt you Lisa! [Throws the glove away but then Nelson picks it up]

Ha Ha! You forgot about me 'Cuz I had the mumps! [Inflicts all the glove's options at Milhouse]

Marge

Are you saying Lisa is not at the Model U.N.?

Martin

[Dressed as a Belgian delegate.] To the extent you can trust the word of a Belgian...yes!

Martin

Let me go. I have a swim lesson with a gorgeous lifeguard.

Dolph

What gender?

Martin

You're not allowed to ask.

Bart

Hey, Martin.

Martin

Bartholomew! This playground has safely stimulated my imagination.

Bart

What the hell are you talking about?

Martin! [chuckles] Who's your new friend?

Martin

[whispering] Mother, don't blow this for me!

Fine, I'll just go sit and talk to his mother. Where is she?

Bart

I'm here by myself. But I have a safety number! [calls a number on his phone]

Moe's Tavern. Homer ain't here, and for once, that's the truth. [Martha calls the police]