Abe quotes from The Simpsons

All right, you kids, come down now. We promise we won't kill ya.

Homer

Speak for yourself! Bart, get down here! I'm gonna spank you back to the Stone Age!

Bart

You can't make us come down!

You adults are always giving orders!

Skinner

Well, you kids are always disobeying them!

Well, adults treat kids like children!

Kirk

Kids treat adults like cash machines!

Adults!

Kids!

Adults!

Kids!

Adults!

Rev. Lovejoy

Kids! You've had your fun, now we've had our fill!

Homer

Yeah! You're only here because Marge forgot her pill!

Marge

[embarrassed] Hmm...

Kids! You're all just scandalizing, vandalizing punks! [catches Nelson spray-painting "Oink" on his backside]

Krusty

Channel-hopping, Ritalin-popping monkeys! [But please don't quit the fan-club!]

Marge

Kids! I can nag and nag till my hair turns blue!

Edna Krabappel

Kids! You bum my smokes and don't say thank you!

Why can't you be like we are? [they get hit with tomatoes]

Oh, what a bunch of brats!

We oughta drown you just like cats! [Snowball II jumps out of his sack]

Bart

Adults! You run our lives like you're Colonel Klink!

Adults! You strut around like your farts don't stink!

Lisa

Adults! You're such a drooling, snoring, boozing, boring bunch! Surly, meanie, three-martini lunchers!

I just ate a thumbtack!

Adults! They're always telling us to--

[grabs Milhouse with his cane] Shut your traps!

Jasper

Eh... we're all fed up with all of you whippersnaps! [Milhouse screams and runs]

We're trying to get some sleep here! It's almost 6:15! What's the matter with...

Don't you treat us like...

Can't you just lay off...

We're sick of all of you...

KIDS...TO...DAY!

We're gonna teach all you rugrats a lesson!

Homer

Oh yeah? Pfft! What can you old people do to us?

Krusty

Yeah, you old fogies!

Buzz off, you old buzzards!

You're wrinkly, somebody should iron you.

Selma

Okay. Look at the eye chart and cover your left eye.

That's my seeing eye. The right one's my winking eye! (winks)

Selma

I'll give you your licence if you never do that again.

Oh, everything's the last time I do everything.

Marge

Bart, you're suing us?

Bart

Yes, I wanna be emancipated.

Homer

Emancipated? Don't you like being a dude?

Lisa

No, Dad, it means Bart would be a legal adult and free to move out of the house.

Marge

I wanted a sewing room, but not like this. Not like this!

Bart

Mom, you've always been cool to me, but Homer is a lousy dad and I'm not gonna take it anymore.

Homer

Hey, my dad was lousy and I didn't sue him. I just dumped him in the cheapest home I could find.

Hey! My IV is empty, and my catheter is full!

See you tomorrow.

Homer

[angrily turns red] You're an useless old man! Name one thing you do for this family.

I watch the baby.

Marge

Where is the baby?

[surprised] You left me with a baby?!?

Carl

I don't get it. What's so "great" about this depression?

I like how everything's in sepia tone. Makes me all nostalgic.

I didn't think it would come to this when I fought in the First World War.

"First World War"? Why do you keep calling it that?

Oh, you'll see!

You stink, LaBoot!

No I don't! Google my stats! [to Bart] Just it for me kid, you'll be just fine.

Lisa

You feel better now, Bart?

Bart? Are you Bart Simpson? Talking to you was an error in my life!

Boo. Boo indeed.

Chief Wiggum

Jump! Who said that?

Bart

I hate Bart Simpson!

You stink, LaBoot!

Dammit!

What did you do during the war?

World War II? I wasn't born yet!

It's funny how many Germans say that these days.

Marge

It's like we've got our own monster!

Homer

Your grandfather is not a monster! Now, let's chain him in the basement until the circus comes to town.

Sounds good!

Marge

Homer, I told you he wouldn't sleep through it.

In my day, women didn't make a sound!

Homer

That's Mock Rickly, my old Air Force buddy.

Bart

You said you were in the Army.

Lisa

You said you were in the Navy.

That's the kind of mix up that used to happen when I was in the Marines.