“And Maggie Makes Three” · Season 6
In this episode: Homer Simpson (6), Marge Simpson (2), Bart Simpson (1), Lisa Simpson (1), Moe Szyslak (1), Mr. Burns (1), Chief Wiggum (1), Lenny Leonard (1)
Oh, I hope I haven't upset you... bongo-head!
[starts playing the bongos on Burns' head]
Oh, I should be resisting this, but I'm paralyzed with rage... and island rhythms.
[Homer drives through the plant and everyone cheers as Homer continues playing]
Yeah, way to play the boss's head like a bongo, Homer!
He's getting a pretty good sound out of that guy.
Ah, another perfect day in my perfect life with my perfect job.
[driving by] Hey, just heard the news over the squawk box. That's nice work, Homer.
[thinking about his new job] Thank you, thank you very much. It is nice work.
[Kwik-E-Mart]
Oh Mr. Simpson, I have just heard about the little bundle of joy. Congratulations, sir.
[still oblivious] It's true, the bundle is little, but I'm not in it for the money.
[Moe's Tavern]
Hey Homer, way to get Marge pregnant.
[confused] This is getting very abstract, but thank you, I do enjoy working at the bowling alley.
[barges door] Man, it's windy as hell out there! [notices baby shower] Hey, wait a minute. What are all these presents? It looks like you're... showering Marge with gifts... hmm, [examines a piece of baby clothes] with little, tiny baby-sized gifts. [little oblivious] Well... I'll be in the tub. [walks upstairs]
By the way, congratulations on your new job, Homer.
New job..? Marge is pregnant?! [yanks out his few remaining hairs] NOOOOOOOOOOO!
[Homer runs upstairs, shrieking hysterically.]
Oh, you're pregnant! That means we're gonna have to have a baby. All our financial plans are ruined! We're doomed! Doomed, I tells ya!
[He lets out a scream as his head swells like a balloon and then pops. Cut to the present]
Bart, let your father tell the story!
Yeah!
Okay, but I know funny.
[Homer is staring at a bowling ball, trying to think of a way to increase business at the bowling alley]
Of course!
[Cut to outside the bowling alley, Homer is firing a shotgun into the air while people around him run away, screaming]
Bowling! Bowling here! Get your bowling! Who's ready? Bowling!
[in the present] Mom, make Dad tell the story right!
That's what really happened.
Oh.
[At the hospital, Mayor Quimby holds a newborn child in his arms while the mother (a young woman) rests.]
This is incredible. It's God's most wondrous miracle.
Sir, I think your wife wants to hold the baby.
My wife? Where? Where?! [runs off in a panic]
[Homer holds Maggie for the first time.]
Awww, it's a boy. [looking down] And what a boy!
Uh... that's the umbilical cord; it's a girl.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
