[puzzled about the square-shaped hole in newspaper] Hey, who cut out Beetle Bailey? I want my Miss Buxley fix!
“Treehouse of Horror XI” · Season 12
In this episode: Homer Simpson (3), Snorky (3), Marge Simpson (1), Lisa Simpson (1), Moe Szyslak (1), Lenny Leonard (1), Carl Carlson (1), Kodos Johnson (1)
Did you see that? I did the deed, open up!
SPSt. Peter
[reading a newspaper] Oh I'm sorry, I wasn't looking.
Hey! I thought you guys could see everything!
SPSt. Peter
No, you're thinking of Santa Claus.
Well, I'll be damned.
SPSt. Peter
I'm afraid so, yes. [pulls a cord, sending Homer to hell & the sees the Devil standing behind him]
I am Homer Simpson--
Silence, sinner! Prepare for an eternity of horrible pain!
[as the Devil advances on him] Oh no...! [Devil starts giving Homer a noogie]
Ha-ha! [continues to Homer, as Homer cries in pain] Oh, be quiet. You'll wake up John Wayne.
JWJohn Wayne
[appearing from a nearby cave] I'm already up.
DDolphin
Your majesty! You're free at last!
They made me do tricks like a common seal!
Arr, I'm the Sea Captain. Arr. [both laughing]
[Takes a drink while swimming at night] Mmmm. Alcohol and night swimming. It's a winning combination!
[in high child's voice] Snorky speak man... [coughs, deep voice] I'm sorry, Let me start over. Eons ago, dolphins lived on the land.
MMoe
What did he say!
He said years ago dolphins used to lived on the land.
MMoe
[surprised] What?
Then your ancestors drove us into the sea, where we suffered for millions of years.
But you seemed so happy in the ocean. All that playful leaping...
We were trying to get out! It's cold, it's wet, every morning I wake up phlegmy.
Plus all that sewage we keep dumping.
[gasps] That was you?
It was her alright. [holds up Lisa] Take the one who wronged you!
I, King Snorky, hereby banish all humans to the sea!
CCrowd
Pushy Dolphins. I don't like that. [etc.]
MMoe
I... I tuned out. Where are we going?
[After the final story is over, but this episode isn't. The scene cuts to the bridge of Kang and Kodos's spaceship]
Can you believe it, Kodos? They left us out of the Halloween show.
Are you sure the space phone is working? [Kang tried it] Hang up, they could be trying to call right now!
I knew we should have sent them a muffin basket.
[The phone rings. Kodos answers]
Kang and Kodos Productions. Uh-huh. Yes. Just a second. Do we want to do a commercial for something called, "Old Navy?"
[shrugs] Ehh, work is work.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.