[Ned has just offered Homer tickets to the game]
Why do you mock me, Lord?
Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle Bart threw up there
[Marge knocks it down]
I know I shouldn't eat thee but... [does it anyway] Mmmm, sacril-licious
“Homer Loves Flanders” · Season 5
In this episode: Homer Simpson (4), Marge Simpson (2), Ned Flanders (2), Moe Szyslak (1), Mr. Burns (1), Milhouse Van Houten (1), Lenny Leonard (1), Carl Carlson (1)
[Lenny and Carl see Homer and Ned drive by, but Homer buries Ned's head out of view so they don't see him with Flanders]
Hi!
Hey, look! Homer's got one of those robot cars!
[The car crashes off-screen due to Homer pushing Ned's head down]
One of those American robot cars.
[Mr. Burns talking to football players before the game]
Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because... I crippled him myself to inspire you.
[Cuts to Milhouse lying in a hospital bed with a broken leg and his parents at his side.]
I hope they win or Mr. Burns said he's coming back.
I'll take two dogs, two sodas... and, uh, two ice cream bars. [as they are passed along the row towards him, Homer snatches two bites from his dogs] What the hell happened to my dogs? I want answers.
Well, I guess I should pay my share.
[chuckling] Relax, Homer. I keep telling you. You're my guest.
Ooh, you brought me a nacho hat! Thanks, Ned. [dips a nacho in it, then eats it, singing] Nacho, nacho man, I want to be a nacho man.
Bart (waves two pieces of paper in front of Homer's face): Hey, Dad, sell you these for fifty bucks.
Woo hoo! Sold! (Bart takes the money and runs off)
Those aren't tickets to the game, Homer.
What do you mean? It says right here: "Free wig with every purchase of large wig. Downtown Wig Center". (screams): Why you little -- (immediately calms down as he sits down and thinks it over): Hmm, free wig.
(Homer imagines himself with Marge's hair, as he looks at himself in the mirror)
Homer (imitating Marge): I love you, Homie. Mmm. (normal voice): Heh, heh, heh. I don't need her at all anymore.
LLovejoy
Now let us bow our heads in a silent prayer of Thanksgiving. [all the churchgoers do so. Homer is breathing through his nose, which gets louder with each breath, annoying Ned]
[furiously and annoyed] STOP IT!!! BREATHE THROUGH YOUR DAMN MOUTH! [Lovejoy and the churchgoers gasp] Oh, can't you see this man's not a hero!? He's annoying! He's very, very annoying!
Well, Ned's just jealous!
MMoe
The man's hepped up on goofballs!
AAbe
Let's sacrifice him to our God! (the room falls silent as everyone looks at Grampa in horror): We did it all the time in the 30's.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.