Homer Simpson quotes from The Simpsons

Homer

"Stamps rule! I mean, suck!"

Homer

Marge, without this outfit I'm just Homer Simpson, multiple felon. With it I'm a costumed hero like George Washington, or Dame Edna!

Homer

Wait a minute, if she's going bird watching then why did she leave her Peterson's Guide to Bird Watching? [Looks inside] [gasps] Road Runners are real?

Homer

I'm stuck and I have to pee [short break] Now I'm just stuck.

Homer

Hey Moe. [Angrily turns red] Thanks to you I've been sober all week!

Homer

[very upset that he lost the race after the duck came to life] A living duck? I wished too hard and it became real!

Homer

Time to do what I do best, ruin it for everybody.

Homer

We've been through more hardships than the Jews and Charlie Brown put together!

Homer

By the time Bart is 18, we’re gonna control the world. [pause] We’re China, right?

Homer

Well, excuse me for having enormous flaws that I don't work on!

Homer

[thinking] No book is ever going to make my daughter sad. Time to do what I do best! Lie to a child!

Homer

Bart, take these volleyballs, fill them up, and throw them over the prison wall to create chaos and confusion.

Homer

[calling Bart] Bart! This is a matter of life and death! What is the difference between "ketchup" and "catsup"? [Bart throws the cell phone away.] They're gonna cut my head off!

Homer

I have to warn you, I'm not good with details. Or the big picture. I also show up late. And drunk. [whispers enthusiastically] I have a good feeling about this!

Homer

[while taking a shower by a fire hydrant] Can't you see I have privacy?