A character in The Loud House
See, guys? I told you. There's nothing to be afraid of. [gasps]
What's it?
[on walkie talkie] Lincoln, Lincoln!
It's a ghost and it knows my name! [all scream] I'll save you sisters! AAH! [The lights turn on; Lincoln is attacking the laundry basket] Hiya! Take that, evil spirit!
[Lincoln pulls out a sloppy joe with a note]
[reading the note] "Happy Sloppy Joe Tuesday, Lame-o. Signed, Ronnie Anne!"
And there's a heart!
Ooh! Lincoln's got a girlfriend!
No I don't.
When's the wedding day, Lincoln?
[annoyed] Ha ha. Very funny.
Ronnie and Lincoln sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
Guys, Ronnie Anne is NOT my girlfriend. She's rude and gross and totally annoying. I'd rather lick the bathroom floor than kiss that weirdo. [hears a gasp and sees Ronnie Anne] Ronnie Anne!
[Ronnie Anne storms out of the cafeteria with a sharped scowl]
Whoa, Lincoln, I think you really hurt her feelings.
Come on, Clyde, Ronnie Anne is the toughest kid in school. She'll be fine.
[Later… as Lincoln returns home from school]
You MONSTER! [throws a tissue box at him, angrily]
Ow! What was that for?
You made Ronnie Anne CRY!
Cry?! I didn't mean to! Wait, how do you know?
Bobby told me... Right before he broke up with ME! [sobs]
What? Why does Bobby care?
[opens up a photo book of her, Bobby, and Ronnie Anne] Because Bobby is literally Ronnie Anne's brother! He said he could never date someone related to someone who hurt someone he's related to! Or something like that!
Ronnie Anne has a brother? I thought she was raised by trolls.
[throws CDs at him] THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT BOBBY WAS TALKING ABOUT! [chases him around the living room and grabs him by the collar with both hands] You have to make things right with Ronnie Anne!
Okay! Okay! I'll call her right now and apologize!
No! Nuh-uh! Actions speak louder than words. Bobby has to see you being nice to her. That's the only way he'll get back together with me! Which is why we're going on a double-date.
What?!
It's all been arranged. We have a reservation at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet at 6:00. And you will make her feel like… THE MOST SPECIAL GIRL IN THE WORLD!!
I don't get it, Clyde. Usually, I'm a good student, but lately it's been all C's and D's, and now an F.
Wow. And a frowny face too.
[sighs] So what's the plan?
You'll go to the front door and sing Christmas carols here. When Grouse comes out to yell at you, I'll hop the fence and grab Big Red here.
Strategic genius.
Just another minute, Lucy! Hang on, Lola. [Picks up the other toys and drops the balls] Whoops! [Lily cries] No no no no no! Wait! It's all okay. Shh, shh! [Bitey climbs into his pant leg and makes him trip over the ball. The other girls gather around Clyde and demand that he help with his problems. He takes out his fanny pack] JUST TAKE THE COOKIES! [The girls see the cookies and chase after them as Clyde runs downstairs]
Clyde! What happened?
[runs into Lori] L-L-L-L-Lori? [gets a nosebleed and passes out]
Whatever. [walks inside]
[Clyde comes to his own senses]
Clyde! Talk to me, buddy. What happened back there?
I failed at the 3 C's.
What? How is that possible? You're the most caring person I know and you make great cookies.
It's the confidence I'm struggling with. [panicking] What if I give bad crush advice, and my future sibling gets their heart broken? Or what if I can't choreograph a ribbon dance, and they drop out of school and start holding up convenience stores? I'm going to be a terrible big brother!
CLYDE! [shakes Clyde] You're spiraling! You can do this. Just get out there and try again.
I can't, Lincoln! I don't have the confidence you do. And I never will.
It's okay, buddy. How about we just forget the whole training thing and play some video games?
That sounds great.
I'll just go grab us some snacks.
I guess we did save Halloween, Clyde. But too bad nobody got any candy.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Let's go get our shovels!
[Soon they are giving out their full size candy bars to the kids who had their candy stolen]
Well, congratulations! Keep reaching for those dreams.
[Touched] Aww! Thanks! You're so supportive!
[To Clyde] The more success she has, the less time she has to prank us.
Ah. [Sits on a whoopie cushion and it deflates] Yeah she still has time.
[Luan goes into the house and up the stairs. She gasps as she steps on something, or rather someone. She looks down and sees Lucy depressed.]
Lucy, what are you doing on the stairs?
Sigh. I submitted my best poem to the Transylvania review. They didn't want it. I must have what it takes to be a poet.
Your first rejection letter, huh? Well, step into my office. I wanna show you something.
Jackpot.
OK everybody, up top. [all five high-five] First middle school high five, check. Who's ready to rock day one? [Everyone groans]
I know I am. Grew this sweet new 'stache over the summer, so I'm golden.
OK, A: I'd hardly call that a 'stache. And B: why can't you just admit you're nervous like the rest of us?
Guys, there's nothing to be nervous about. Especially because we'll all be together in Mrs. Salter's class, which Lynn said rules.
But Lincoln, we're gonna get eaten alive! We're not big fish anymore.
Everybody calm down, I'm telling you. [blows harmonica and clears his throat.] As long as we're together, we'll be fine.
Thanks for buying me a snack, Clyde. You have no idea how much it costs to feed and house a dove.
You bet. Just two best friends sharing some dried apples! Nothing unusual at all.
Those are some healthy choices, boys!
Hey, guys! Fancy running into you here.
At school?
[waves a pocket watch] Behold, this antique pocket watch. Look closely at it and relax your mind.
Zach, why are you showing me an old watch?
Shh. Just focus on the watch. Let's talk about dancing. It's so cool. You want to dance. You need to dance.
[stops the watch] Nice try, Zach, but I'm sticking with my magic act. [leaves]
I don't understand why it didn't work.
[The two exit before the camera reveals Zack unknowingly hypnotized Meryl instead; she dances for two uncomfortable students.]
I wanna boot-scoot! I need to boot-scoot! Aw, yeah, aw, yeah!
[Lincoln and his friends are hanging out at Gus' Games and Grub, but before they're about to enjoy their spaghetti pizza, Leni and her friends: Fiona, Miguel, Jackee and Mandee arrive]
Ooh! Lincoln, isn't that your sister?
[notices her brother] Hey, Lincoln! It's like, totes packed in here. Mind if we share your booth?
Well, it's already… [Leni and her friends end up squeezing in] Full.
[gasps] Is that spaghetti pizza?
Yum!
I'm starving!
Oh, can I have a slice?
Oh. Well, I guess. [the teens devour the whole pizza] So, what are you guys doing here?
Yeah, don't you guys usually hang out at the mall?
Usually. But Dim Yum is closed.
Yeah, but the skee-ball is open! Come on, let's play some games!
[The teens leave the table and go to the arcade]
[offended] They ate all of our pizza. Now they're playing all of our games?
[Screen pans to Leni and her friends having fun playing games]
Y'all, they're takin' over this place like skeeters on a sugar sucker.
Guys, it's okay. It's only for an afternoon. We can still have fun.
[Miguel lands a high score on skee-ball and his friends celebrate until Rusty, Zach and Stella approach]
Mind if I get next? I don't get A's very often.
Sorry, dude. Miguel's gonna be here for a while. He's on a roll.
Only 10,000 more tickets and he has enough to win the Rip Hardcore Waffle Iron!
[singing] Waffles!
I've been saving up my tickets for years trying to win that! [sulks sadly]
The Doo Dads are Doo Dead. We are Raging Bolhofners! (The newly dubbed Raging Bolhofners start playing aggressive music)
WHAT?!
(The force of the aggressive music is so strong, that it pushes the customers away while Mr. Bolhofner screams unintelligibly into the microphone)
This is awful!
(The crowd flees the restaurant in fear, not wanting to deal with the Raging Bolhofners’ style; Upon seeing this, Lincoln decides what he must do to help his father)
Okay, so Stella made a notebook of some "hot news leads", but they're all "fake." We "accidentally" drop it here by Principal Ramirez's car. As the "rat," she "finds it" and takes it to "the nest." Any questions?
Can you go over that one more time? I got lost in all the air quotes.
Gotcha. [he and his friends run over to Katherine and Principal Ramirez, surprising them with horror] Principal Ramirez! Action News Team!
Excuse me.
Principal Ramirez, how much has Katherine Mulligan been paying you to steal out news stories?
I don't know what you're talking about.
[sneaks up next to her and puts the microphone in her face, causing her to wobble and fall into the lake] We're asking the questions here.
The jig is up, Katherine "Shady Shader" Mulligan! The book Principal Ramirez was going to give you, is a bunch of phony news leaks we planted! Bam! [looks closely at the book cover] "Passion under the Pompeii Moon?" Uh-oh.
[snatches the book from him, angrily] You bet you're "uh-oh." Ms. Mulligan and I are in a book club together. Now someone get me out of here.
That's the story. We've been meeting to swap novels we're reading.
So you weren't leaking our stories?
Of course not! This what you spend your time on, making false accusations? I have half a mind to shut down the Action News Team.
Please, don't!
No, dawg!
We're sorry.
Give us another chance.
[steps in front] I'm Katherine Mulligan, and I agree with these children. Sure, they got the story wrong. But they've got real drive. [giggles] It reminds me of me when I was starting out. I say they deserve a second chance.
[out of her mind; annoyed] Fine. [The Action News Team jump and share a high-five; exits the lake, wagging her finger] But no more wild goose chases or knocking principals in lakes.
Promise.
We swear.
It was Zach.
Thanks, Ms. Mulligan. But we have to know, how the heck have you been able to scoop us?
With help from my boyfriend. He's a real sweetie with even sweeter leads. But I had no idea he was getting them from you.
[seeing the portrait of Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti, thinks back to everything else] Fish cake, milk fountain, weird lady in a cat suit. Boys, what's going on?
I'm sorry, Mom. We got so distracted planning Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti's graduation party that we… forgot your birthday.
We thought if we brought everything from the cat's party here, we could still give you a great birthday.
[takes her hands] We're sorry, Nana. We really messed up.
Yeah, ya did! Come on, Gayle, let 'em have it! Mama loves the drama.
[laughs] There's no drama, Scoots.
Boo! Fine, I'll go take my own. Tyler! I told you your cats couldn't live with us. We're takin' 'em to your sister's.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Loud House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
The Loud House · 632 quotes
