Lisa quotes from The Loud House

The signage for Fondue Falls clearly states no more than three passengers per cheese log.

Today was not a disaster. In fact, l would call it a normal Loud Family Sunday.

Lori

"Come on, guys. We'll just find another pool."

"Actually, we've been suspended from every aquatic recreation center within a 60-mile radius."

Lori

"Seriously? How are we gonna keep cool now?"

"So that's it, then. No more pool for the Louds." [He gets an idea.] "That's it! Pool for the Louds! Why didn't I think of that sooner?"

Maybe not so perfect. [puts it back and finds an individual one] Oh! Paradise for One. Just imagine... [imagines himself in a pool on a small island in the middle of the ocean] Now this is a pool I can really get into. [heads for the exit] Lincoln's little baby loves shortenin', short- [triggers the alarm] Oops. Gotta pay first.

Leni

"Hey, Linc! Wanna chill with us?"

Luan

"CHILL! Good one, Leni!" [giggles]

Leni

"Good what?"

"Thanks, but I don't mind the heat." [The sisters are confused] "But, uh, you guys keep cool in here. Definitely no reason to go outside. I wouldn't even bother looking out there. Am I talking too much? I feel like I'm talking too much." [Leaves]

"He's clearing suffering the first symptoms of heat stroke. Now, pass the frozen succotash."

"Scoot over. You're melting the broccoli."

"Well, stop breathing on the frozen carrots!"

Luan

"Hey, Lynn, can you grab that bag of peas? PEAS and thank you!" [giggles while her siblings groan]

[Breathing heavily] "Whew!"

"Hmm... Unprecedented levels."

Luan

"MARCO!"

Leni

"MARCO!"

Luan

"No, Leni. I'm Marco. You're Polo."

Leni

"Really, who's Leni?"

"Oh no no no no no!" [grabs her and puts her in a diaper.] "No fecal incidents in my pool! I'm watching you, Lily." [sees Lucy floating] "Lucy? I didn't know you liked to swim."

"I'm not swimming. I'm trying to see if I'm a witch. Am I floating?"

"Yes."

"Wicked."

[chases Lily] "Get back here!"

"You know what your soup needs? NOODLES!" [Bonks Lana with a pool noodle]

[Grabs one] "Bring it!"

"STOP SPLASHING ME!!!"

"Guys, no horseplay!"

Luan

"What about elephant play?" [blasts Lincoln with a jet of water while sounding like an elephant, which makes Lana, Lynn, and Lola laugh at Lincoln.]

[flies right into Bobby] "Huh? Bobby? What're you doing here?"

Bobby

"Lori said there was an opening for a lifeguard at Casa Loud." [Blows whistle] "Everyone out! Senior swim!"

"What? There aren't any old people here!"

"More tea, Lady Lillington?" [Lily removes a tiara that Lola placed on her head]

She doesn't wanna have a dumb tea party. She wants to play with Izzy! [Puts Izzy on Lily's head. They then start to pull Lily by her arms, which discomforts her]

No, she doesn't!

Yes, she does!

No, she doesn't!

Yes, she does!

Luna

Dudes, give her back! We were in the middle of a jam sesh!

She was my specimen!

We were talking to Great-Grandma Harriet.

We were playing ball!

Luan

We were getting ready to take our show on the road!

Leni

We were gonna look at my magazines!

Lori

We were watching Dylan's date!

BT-dubs, Lori, Great-Grandma Harriet knows you re-gifted her brooch, and she is not happy about it. [Lori instantly looks regretful]

GIVE US BACK, LILY!

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!

Lori

I'll take that. [grabs Lily and runs]

Oh, no, you don't! [gets Lily back from Lori but crashes into Luan who switched Lily out with Mr. Coconuts]

Luan

Whoops. Sorry, Linc! Sorry, you loser! [laughs but loses Lily to Leni]

Leni

Ha! Na-na-na, na-na-na! [loses Lily to Lisa while she's gloating at Luan] LILY'S INVISIBLE!

[offscreen] Boo. [Lisa screams and she takes Lily from her] Boo.

Dang it...

Look! We all want Lily to be our mini-me, right? Well, there's only one way to settle this. We'll let Lily choose.

Wrong house! [closes the door but they somehow appear before him]

Where have you been?!

We were standing on the curb for over three hours!

Lori

The garbage guys literally tried to take Lana to the dump!

I'm really sorry. I had a busy day with the very wealthy Lord Tetherby and I just couldn't get away.

I cannot believe you have been hanging out with some random rich guy all day instead of taking your own sisters to the Burpin' Burger!

[repeating Tetherby's words] A man in a limo can't be seen in some rat hole named after a bodily function. It's just not done.

Lori

You're not a man in a limo. You're a kid who ate a bunch of mustard! As soon as your limo's gone, this little fantasy of yours is going to be over!

Oh, really? Is that why they're making me a member of their club tonight, hm? Now if you'll excuse me, I need to put on my formal wear.

What the?

Luna

He looks okay, but we better check him.

Leni

[checks Lincoln's temperature with a scanner] 986 degrees? He's good. Let him go.

Will someone please tell me what the heck is going on?!

Haven't you heard? This morning our house became infested with an acute, febrile, contagious virus. Or, as it's known on the street, the flu.

With 13 Louds packed into 1200 square feet, when someone gets sick, it spreads like the plague. We're not just talking flu, we're talking...a zombie apocalypse!

Merry Christmas, Mr. Grouse.

We all chipped in and got you something.

It's a bus ticket.

Luan

So you can go see your family for Christmas tomorrow.

Rita

And since you can't be with them tonight... [Rita and Lynn Sr. finally reveal their faces] ...we're bringing our family to you.

Lynn Sr.

How bout it, neighbor?

LOUDS! [in a warmer tone] You've made this the best Christmas ever. Thank you. I'd say you all landed permanent spots on Santa's nice list.

Even me?

Even you. [Lola hugs Mr. Grouse's leg]

Once again... [sobs]

Well, what are you waiting for? Everyone inside!

Leni

Ooh! When did we put a mirror in the living room?

Lori

That's not a mirror, that's me! Now go take your dress back!

Leni

What?! No! You take yours back!

That's it? You gotta be kidding me! Clyde and I wear the same shirt on picture day, and we didn't care.

It's a sister thing. You wouldn't understand.

Well let's go help them work it out So we can have our house back. [Lynn stops him with her hockey stick] Oof!

Negative. In this family, we have a sister fight protocol: butt out, and let them resolve it on their own.

Yeah? Well I have a protocol, too! Which is I don't like pooping in a bucket! [enters Lori and Leni's room] Hey guys. Now look, I know you've been having a little problem.

Lori

Lincoln...

But I think I can settle this.

Leni

Lincoln...

Leni, why don't you just return the dress? Lori once said blue makes you look washed out anyway.

Leni

Wait, what?!

Okay, okay. I'm just spitballing here. Lori, why don't you return the dress? Leni says taffeta makes you look like Aunt Ruth. And who wants that? Am I right?

Lori

Excuse me?!

So, what do you say? Ready to hug it out?

Lori

We already hugged it out! We were fine! But now that I know that she thinks I look like Aunt Ruth, we are definitely not fine!

Leni

You insulted my skin tone! Nothing's gonna make that right!

Ugh, nice job, Lincoln! We told you to stay out of it!

Based on rising decibel levels, I'm up in the threat level in the house from thunderstorm to hissing cats. Sisters, to your stations!

What's going on? What happened to the fighting?

Lori

Pfft. We're over that. We made up.

All of you?

Correct. Threat level is back to Field of Daisies.

Lynn Sr.

[offscreen] Oh, thank goodness!

I don't understand. How did you fix everything?

No, Lincoln. You fixed everything.

Me? How?

By leaving.

Luan

We told you, if you just butted out, we'd resolve it on our own.

But the dress?

Leni

I came up with the perfect solution: Lori gets to wear it on the days that end in Y, and I get to wear it the rest of the time.

And once they made up, the rest of us made up.

Heh. Well, I guess I've learned my lesson: Always respect the sister fight protocol.

Glad you're finally getting it.

Oh, I totally do, believe me. Next time when Lynn says she needs a windshield wiper when Lisa talks, or Lana says Lola snores like Pop-Pop, I am staying out of it.

You said what now, sporty?!

Oh, I snore, do I? How can you hear me over all your sleep-farting?!

Lynn Sr.

Phew. Can't wait to use the real toilet.

Lynn Sr.

Aah! Retreat! Retreat! [Runs back into his room]

Wait for me! [rushes to join them as the brawl shakes the whole house]

These are for later, Mr. Grouse. First, we need to get you trained so you'll fit into the world of IT.

Ah, you kids and your fancy abbreviations. In my day, we just said "It".

Okay, Mr. Grouse. Here's a laptop. Boot it up.

Will you settle for a penny loafer? [hits the laptop with a shoe]

No, no! Not like that! Like this. [turns it on]

Luan

Okay, now open a window.

Eh...alright. [opens a window in the house]

Luan

[laughs] Good one. But wrong. Like this. [opens a window on the laptop]

Now you need to empty the trash on your computer.

Eh, whatever you say. [empties a wastebasket all over the computer]

Yeah, I walked right into that one.

Luan

And the good news is that is nothing to worry about, we’re not a bad influence on Lily after all.

[putting their arms into the air to celebrate while Lucy is silent and putting her arms in the air] YAY!

[furiously] *BLEEP*!

Darcy

You looked sad. I wanted to make you feel better.

But why would you want to make me feel better?

Darcy

Because that's what friends do for each other.

[realizes] Because that's what friends do for each other. Would you excuse me for just one moment? [into her recorder] Research epiphany: I have discovered the point of having friends. Not to check off an academic requirement, or to impress a bunch of aliens, but because friends make your life better. Thank you, Darcy. [Gives Darcy half of the cookie] Care to join me?

Lori

(eating bean chips) Anyone want a low-cal bean chip?

Vomit.

Lori

They’re delicious, and supes high fiber.

Frrrt!

Yes, apparently.