Mr. Bolhofner quotes from The Loud House

Listen, change of plans. Coach Keck's stuck at the Gym Teacher's Convention, so I'll be in charge again next week. And that means more dodgeball! On Monday, you guys are playing the eighth graders.

Great news! That Viking team from Iceland I told you about just sailed in to play you in dodgeball.

(chuckles) You’re welcome.

Hook a right onto the ramp!

NO! Trial by fire! Freeway! Get in front of that school bus! Punch it! Here’s your chance! NOW!!

Blindfold test comes later. Keep your peepers open! SPEED UP!

Pedal to the metal! GO, GO, GO!

Sunglasses?!? YOU BROKE MY CAR!!!'

Action News Team! Thanks for the piece you heard about me. The teachers had no idea I once escaped a collapsing underwater cave, using my webbed feet. [takes off his shoe] And believe me, they were impressed.

What in the blue blazes, Loud?! This is your report on plate tectonics?!

Mr. Bolhofner, I can explain--

You enjoy two weeks to prepare for this! I can send you back to kindergarten! What were you thinking?! And somebody shut up that theremin music! This is lazy, irresponsible, rassafrassin'- [burbles]

That’s not the song!

I was jamming out, taking the accordion for a little walk.

Jamming is for hippies. Now, let's pick up where we left off. (The Doo Dads are huddled together, shivering in fear of their new bandmate’s behavior)

Lynn Sr

Uh.

(gulps)

The Doo Dads are Doo Dead. We are Raging Bolhofners! (The newly dubbed Raging Bolhofners start playing aggressive music)

WHAT?!

This is awful!

Who cut the power?

I did!

Why the heck would you do that? I was getting ready for my fourteen-minute solo. Lincoln: (inhales deeply): Mr. B, you’re fired.

[grabs and picks up Zach by the backpack after being tackled] You need two seconds to tell me what the blue blazes is going on!

Don't panic, but there's an alien inside of you, Mr. B. I can totally prove it! See [shows his detector] It's flashing, which means… [his detector is low on battery power] Low battery… [chuckles sheepishly] Let's just call this a whoopsie.

[drops him] A whoopsie?! We must call it… [yelling angrily in his face] TWO DAYS' DETENTION FOR TACKLING A TEACHER, GURDLE?! [storms off]

You okay, Zach?

Stella

We saw everything.

Uh, yeah. Well, at least it's only two days of detention. [his friends gasp] What? What's the big deal? I've had detention before.

Yeah, in elementary school. This is middle school! The other bullies are bigger, and so are their wedgies!

Yeah. Lynn once told me about a kid who went to detention, and the other kids gave him a wedgie very hard, it stunted his growth!

[shudders nervously] Oh, great. What am I gonna do?!

Don't worry, dawg. I'll be there to help you because I need to help you.

Let me get this straight. You set up this whole thing just to test us for an elective class you're teaching?

Yup.

[sits down on the floor] Uh, I think I need to lie down. [lies down]

Buckle up, you have ten more weeks of this. And I've got some doozies planned. [the Action News Team groan and pass out] Oh, uh, word of advice, don't eat the meatloaf tomorrow.