A character in The Loud House
Preserving law and order has always been a tough job, but luckily for the students and teachers at Royal Woods Middle School, one person has always had it under control. I'm Lynn Loud, and this is my story.
[Nighttime at Lynn's Table. Lynn Sr., Lincoln, Luan, and Lynn are cleaning the kitchen. Lynn gasps and reads the clock that says 9:00]
[Kicks the bucket] "Woohoo! It's closing time!"
[dashes to the storage space with a mop and captures Nacho holding three cans of beans, but drops one] "Nacho! Get your own beans!" [Nacho runs out the restaurant, dropping another can and having only one] "YOU'LL FACE JUSTICE FOR YOUR CRIMES!"
Yes! Still got a family, but no Rusty in sight. Finally, my future is exactly how I wanted!
[walks into the driveway; infuriated about Shiloh] No one… [throws a trash can aside] is the GLOAT… [throws another one] around here, except ME! [sees a man walking his dog, having to have seen her tantrum, then screams angrily at him, causing him to run away in fear, carrying his dog; groans] I will not be bested by a 6-year-old! This isn't over!
Oh, too many meatball subs. [burps and sighs] Much better. Now, let's see. Where was I? [runs into her room and takes out her old mattress] So long, Sir Sagsalot! And hello realigned back. [walks back into her room, whistling]
Leni, quick! [enters the other room; panting] French Terry has just started to dye!
Oh, no, not French Terry! Wait, do I know French Terry? I know Terry from the mall, but--
[splashes water in her face] Pull yourself together! Don't you understand?! There has been a real place straight for crime of fashion before, and the culprit hit everyone in the house! [drags Leni downstairs to the living room and find the other people's own favorite family's laundry has been dyed orange, grabs an orange dress] Look at this French terry gown from the Little Miss Spa Day Pageant!
And my home jersey! For some reason, I like to play this game for tonight!
We've just had a dye-re situation on our hands, but I know who did it. [takes out a chores list and shows it to everyone]
[The list shows Lincoln's name on laundry duty and the family immediately turns to him]
AH! No! It wasn't me!
Says the other fellow in the colorful polo. TAKE HIM TO THE SLAMMER!
[as Lana drags him to cushion jail] I'm innocent! Leni, you're the clothing expert! You need to help me!
[trying to watch everything from the dining room; narrating] I don't know if I was feeling soft, or if it was becoming the other look in that poor sap's own eyes, but something about the other situation smelling fishy.
Thank you folks for coming. After much investigating, I've just figured out that Lincoln is innocent. It was Lynn! And Luan! And Mr. Coconuts!
[gasps] You can't prove nothing!
Of course I can! [flashback to Lincoln doing his laundry duty when his stomach rumbles and rushes upstairs, out of the basement] Lincoln left the laundry room between 12:00 and 12:30 while the whites were washing, and when he did, the trio made their move. [Lynn, Luan, and Mr. Coconuts enter the basement, smirking slyly] First, Luan tossed her yellow socks in the wash! But peach socks alone couldn't dye the laundry peach. That's when Lynn threw in her red jersey! [Luan adds her yellow socks in the wash and Lynn adds her red jersey and presses "start" to turn on the wash; the whites dye peach as the clothes mix] And while all of this was going on, Mr. C. was acting as a lookout.
[Back to present]
[not seeing the problem] That story don't seem to make a lint of sense!
Sure it does, and I've just had proof. [takes out coconut-scented detergent, and the other family gasps] When I interviewed Luan, I caught a whiff of something sweet. At first, I thought it was her coconut pie until I interviewed Lynn, whose jersey smelled exactly the same. Once I found the detergent, [pours some in the cap, and smells it] it all made sense.
[sniffs Lynn's jersey and Luan's socks] She's wright. They smell the same!
[Three people, realizing they're busted]
But why?! Why did you do it?!
Oh, Lincoln, isn't it obvious? [flashback to breakfast; voice-over] At breakfast, this morning, you totally snagged my gag! Hey, folks! What's a sheep's favorite fruit?
Baa-nana!
[Lana snorts milk out of her nose and onto Luan and Mr. Coconuts's faces, finding it so hilarious as Luan glares at them]
[voice-over] And I had a soak in it!
[voice-over to when she entered the kitchen and finds Lincoln eating her meatball sub, much to her anger] And then later, you ate my spicy meatball sub, which I was saving for my pre-game protein boost!
[voice-over] You stung us good, kid, so we came up with a plan for revenge.
[Three of them smirk deviously at themselves and join hands for their plan to get back at Lincoln; back to the present]
We're sorry. We just got back at Lincoln for framing him. It was an awful idea, but we'll just replace everyone's clothes. Promise!
Enough with the sob story. Lana, take them to the slammer!
Or, instead, we put them on laundry duty for the next month.
Works for me.
I'm on board with that.
And we'll just get Lincoln something, too. How's a limited edition David Steele comic sound? [playfully elbows him] Eh?
"Go get her, romeo."
"You so got this, little bro."
"Aw, our little Lincoln!"
"All grown up."
[Leni has a trash lid on her head, believing Lincoln's lie]
"All the bridesmaids should wear these hats at Lincoln's wedding. These are ALL the rage right now."
[Lincoln steps outside, marches up to the bully, and kisses her.]
"Awwwwww!!!"
[The bully punches him in the face.]
"Ooh!"
[as his sisters furiously rat out at him] Wait, wait, wait! Let me explain!
[enraged] You've got exactly three seconds before we pulverize you!
[Lynn cracks her knuckles, preparing to pulverize Lincoln and Lisa starts her timer]
There was this video contest at school and I really wanted to win!
[incredibly outraged] You showed my sleep face for some stupid CONTEST?!
I just wanted a trophy to put in the case like you guys!
[firmly] You think you deserve a trophy for that, bro?!
No. I don't deserve it. Look! I'll delete the video!
Too late, Lincoln. The damage has already been done.
You made me look like a fool!
You made me look like a freak.
You made me look like I fart! And for the record, it was these shoes! See? [tries to make farting noise but fails] Of course it's not working now.
[Lincoln's sisters walk upstairs to their rooms as Lincoln chases after them]
Lori, I'm sorry! Wait! Luna, let me explain!
Can't hear you, bro! [closes her door]
Leni, Lori, I'm sorry!
You literally disgust me!
Yeah! [bumps her head as Lori pulls her in]
Lola, Lana, please!
You're uninvited to my birthday party FOREVER!
[She slams the door, then Lana opens the door and he thinks she forgives him]
I wanna slam it, too! [slams the door]
Lisa! Lisa? [A note slides outside Lisa's door, and Lincoln reads it] "Vengeance shall be mine." [shudders and moves to the next door] Guys, come on! I'm your brother!
[Lynn growls and walks away]
I have no brother! I know I say that a lot, but this time I mean it. [slams door]
[after sadly walking home from school] I sure hope that worked. [opens the door, only to find that his sisters are still furious] It didn't work.
[sternly] Lincoln...
[remorsefully] I know I embarrassed you and I can't undo it, and I'm sorry, but the least I could do was embarrass myself right along with you, that way we'd all be even!
Even? You think this makes us even?
Well, I was trying to...
Yours was way worse!
[joyfully] Yeah, that video was hysterical!
[Lincoln's sisters surround him and ensure him that they forgive him]
So, we're good?
We're good...brother.
Sorry you didn't win the trophy.
But we really appreciate what you did and thought you deserved something. [hands him a tiny trophy]
Wow. Thanks, guys. [runs to the case and places the trophy in his spot] "Most Improved Brother." [to the viewers] I did it. My sisters no longer despise me, Cristina's switching classes, and I finally made the case.
[Another flatulent sound occurs and Lori's sisters look at her suspiciously]
It was my shoe!
Well, if that's the best seat, then I should get it. I'm the oldest.
You'd just barf all over it, dude! I should have it!
Beauty before age.
Yeah! So I should get it!
That seat belongs to me!
NO, I WANT IT!
You can yell all you want, but I'm already in the seat, and possession is 9/10 of the law.
You're gonna possess a bruise in a minute!
[The sisters glare at Lincoln, really angry]
GET HIM!
Maybe not so perfect. [puts it back and finds an individual one] Oh! Paradise for One. Just imagine... [imagines himself in a pool on a small island in the middle of the ocean] Now this is a pool I can really get into. [heads for the exit] Lincoln's little baby loves shortenin', short- [triggers the alarm] Oops. Gotta pay first.
[At the Loud House, the sisters are trying to cool off with the contents from the freezer. Lincoln tries to hide his pool kit.]
"Hey, Linc! Wanna chill with us?"
"CHILL! Good one, Leni!" [giggles]
"Good what?"
"Thanks, but I don't mind the heat." [The sisters are confused] "But, uh, you guys keep cool in here. Definitely no reason to go outside. I wouldn't even bother looking out there. Am I talking too much? I feel like I'm talking too much." [Leaves]
"He's clearing suffering the first symptoms of heat stroke. Now, pass the frozen succotash."
[Lynn tosses her the succotash. Lincoln sneaks in the backyard while the sisters are cooling off.]
"Scoot over. You're melting the broccoli."
"Well, stop breathing on the frozen carrots!"
"Hey, Lynn, can you grab that bag of peas? PEAS and thank you!" [giggles while her siblings groan]
[Breathing heavily] "Whew!"
[Lisa pours the serum anyway and the water evaporates, it turns into pink smoke; It's revealed that the older sisters have tinkled in the pool. They blush except Lisa and Lincoln.]
"Hmm... Unprecedented levels."
[Lincoln washes the pool and refills it while his sisters watch and the party continues; Luan and Leni are playing Marco Polo]
"MARCO!"
"MARCO!"
"No, Leni. I'm Marco. You're Polo."
"Really, who's Leni?"
[Lily is about to go skinny dipping again]
"Oh no no no no no!" [grabs her and puts her in a diaper.] "No fecal incidents in my pool! I'm watching you, Lily." [sees Lucy floating] "Lucy? I didn't know you liked to swim."
"I'm not swimming. I'm trying to see if I'm a witch. Am I floating?"
"Yes."
"Wicked."
[chases Lily] "Get back here!"
"You know what your soup needs? NOODLES!" [Bonks Lana with a pool noodle]
[Grabs one] "Bring it!"
"STOP SPLASHING ME!!!"
"Guys, no horseplay!"
"What about elephant play?" [blasts Lincoln with a jet of water while sounding like an elephant, which makes Lana, Lynn, and Lola laugh at Lincoln.]
[flies right into Bobby] "Huh? Bobby? What're you doing here?"
"Lori said there was an opening for a lifeguard at Casa Loud." [Blows whistle] "Everyone out! Senior swim!"
"What? There aren't any old people here!"
[The sisters and Bobby are hanging out front with the Delux swimming pool Lincoln originally planned to get. Luna is playing a steel drum. Lori is taking pictures of her darling lifeguard.]
"Oh, that's fierce, babe."
"En garde!"
[knocks Lynn in the water] "Have at thee! HA!"
"Just because I'm fabulous doesn't mean I can't have fun!" [slides down and swims] "La-la-la, la-la-la!"
[Lucy and Lily apply sunscreen on each other. Leni and Luan play Marco Polo again.]
"Okay, this time, instead of Marco Polo, why don't we just use our REAL names?"
"Okay! So I'm..." [looks at her brother, surprised] "Lincoln?"
"Boy, you really don't get this game at all, do ya?" [Notices what Leni meant] "Oh! Hey, Linc!"
[The sisters look happy to see him.]
[Aware of what's going on] "Hey, guys...what's all this?"
"Well, little bro, you had such a good idea in buying YOUR pool, we decided to-"
"-POOL our money to get this one!!!" [Giggles and everyone groans. Luan gets bonked by Lynn's noodle] "That's using your noodle!!" [Giggles some more] "Ow!"
"Aren't you gonna get in? There's TOTES room for one more!"
"You're gonna let me use your pool?" [The sisters are concerned] "Even though I kicked you out of mine?"
"Well, he was kind of a meanie."
"Not to mention selfish."
"And bossy."
"And he stole my whistle!"
"But that doesn't mean he can't use our pool."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Loud House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
The Loud House · 632 quotes
