A character in The Loud House
This poem goes out to the person who got me here, my big sister Luan.
Dreams burnt to ash, hope tangled like laces,
Till love swept in, with puns and funny faces.
Where my path will lead, I can't be sure,
But if ever I'm lost, I'll look up to her.
[Luan smiles, touched]
Funeral.
For the two days he was on this earth, Stewart was a beloved goldfish. He will be missed.
Please, do the honor of the final flush. [The white quint flushes the toilet. Everyone hangs their heads, but the toilet overflows in water] Oh, no. Not again. Somebody quick, hand me the plunger.
[places her hand on Lincoln's shoulder, which startles him] Even in the afterline. [Lincoln chuckles sheepishly]
[sulking] And thus the nightmare begins.
Sigh.
[as his sisters furiously rat out at him] Wait, wait, wait! Let me explain!
[enraged] You've got exactly three seconds before we pulverize you!
[Lynn cracks her knuckles, preparing to pulverize Lincoln and Lisa starts her timer]
There was this video contest at school and I really wanted to win!
[incredibly outraged] You showed my sleep face for some stupid CONTEST?!
I just wanted a trophy to put in the case like you guys!
[firmly] You think you deserve a trophy for that, bro?!
No. I don't deserve it. Look! I'll delete the video!
Too late, Lincoln. The damage has already been done.
You made me look like a fool!
You made me look like a freak.
You made me look like I fart! And for the record, it was these shoes! See? [tries to make farting noise but fails] Of course it's not working now.
[Lincoln's sisters walk upstairs to their rooms as Lincoln chases after them]
Lori, I'm sorry! Wait! Luna, let me explain!
Can't hear you, bro! [closes her door]
Leni, Lori, I'm sorry!
You literally disgust me!
Yeah! [bumps her head as Lori pulls her in]
Lola, Lana, please!
You're uninvited to my birthday party FOREVER!
[She slams the door, then Lana opens the door and he thinks she forgives him]
I wanna slam it, too! [slams the door]
Lisa! Lisa? [A note slides outside Lisa's door, and Lincoln reads it] "Vengeance shall be mine." [shudders and moves to the next door] Guys, come on! I'm your brother!
[Lynn growls and walks away]
I have no brother! I know I say that a lot, but this time I mean it. [slams door]
[after sadly walking home from school] I sure hope that worked. [opens the door, only to find that his sisters are still furious] It didn't work.
[sternly] Lincoln...
[remorsefully] I know I embarrassed you and I can't undo it, and I'm sorry, but the least I could do was embarrass myself right along with you, that way we'd all be even!
Even? You think this makes us even?
Well, I was trying to...
Yours was way worse!
[joyfully] Yeah, that video was hysterical!
[Lincoln's sisters surround him and ensure him that they forgive him]
So, we're good?
We're good...brother.
Sorry you didn't win the trophy.
But we really appreciate what you did and thought you deserved something. [hands him a tiny trophy]
Wow. Thanks, guys. [runs to the case and places the trophy in his spot] "Most Improved Brother." [to the viewers] I did it. My sisters no longer despise me, Cristina's switching classes, and I finally made the case.
[Another flatulent sound occurs and Lori's sisters look at her suspiciously]
It was my shoe!
[Lisa pours the serum anyway and the water evaporates, it turns into pink smoke; It's revealed that the older sisters have tinkled in the pool. They blush except Lisa and Lincoln.]
"Hmm... Unprecedented levels."
[Lincoln washes the pool and refills it while his sisters watch and the party continues; Luan and Leni are playing Marco Polo]
"MARCO!"
"MARCO!"
"No, Leni. I'm Marco. You're Polo."
"Really, who's Leni?"
[Lily is about to go skinny dipping again]
"Oh no no no no no!" [grabs her and puts her in a diaper.] "No fecal incidents in my pool! I'm watching you, Lily." [sees Lucy floating] "Lucy? I didn't know you liked to swim."
"I'm not swimming. I'm trying to see if I'm a witch. Am I floating?"
"Yes."
"Wicked."
[chases Lily] "Get back here!"
"You know what your soup needs? NOODLES!" [Bonks Lana with a pool noodle]
[Grabs one] "Bring it!"
"STOP SPLASHING ME!!!"
"Guys, no horseplay!"
"What about elephant play?" [blasts Lincoln with a jet of water while sounding like an elephant, which makes Lana, Lynn, and Lola laugh at Lincoln.]
[flies right into Bobby] "Huh? Bobby? What're you doing here?"
"Lori said there was an opening for a lifeguard at Casa Loud." [Blows whistle] "Everyone out! Senior swim!"
"What? There aren't any old people here!"
[The sisters and Bobby are hanging out front with the Delux swimming pool Lincoln originally planned to get. Luna is playing a steel drum. Lori is taking pictures of her darling lifeguard.]
"Oh, that's fierce, babe."
"En garde!"
[knocks Lynn in the water] "Have at thee! HA!"
"Just because I'm fabulous doesn't mean I can't have fun!" [slides down and swims] "La-la-la, la-la-la!"
[Lucy and Lily apply sunscreen on each other. Leni and Luan play Marco Polo again.]
"Okay, this time, instead of Marco Polo, why don't we just use our REAL names?"
"Okay! So I'm..." [looks at her brother, surprised] "Lincoln?"
"Boy, you really don't get this game at all, do ya?" [Notices what Leni meant] "Oh! Hey, Linc!"
[The sisters look happy to see him.]
[Aware of what's going on] "Hey, guys...what's all this?"
"Well, little bro, you had such a good idea in buying YOUR pool, we decided to-"
"-POOL our money to get this one!!!" [Giggles and everyone groans. Luan gets bonked by Lynn's noodle] "That's using your noodle!!" [Giggles some more] "Ow!"
"Aren't you gonna get in? There's TOTES room for one more!"
"You're gonna let me use your pool?" [The sisters are concerned] "Even though I kicked you out of mine?"
"Well, he was kind of a meanie."
"Not to mention selfish."
"And bossy."
"And he stole my whistle!"
"But that doesn't mean he can't use our pool."
[Lily is having a tea party with Lola and Lana]
"More tea, Lady Lillington?" [Lily removes a tiara that Lola placed on her head]
She doesn't wanna have a dumb tea party. She wants to play with Izzy! [Puts Izzy on Lily's head. They then start to pull Lily by her arms, which discomforts her]
No, she doesn't!
Yes, she does!
No, she doesn't!
Yes, she does!
Dudes, give her back! We were in the middle of a jam sesh!
She was my specimen!
We were talking to Great-Grandma Harriet.
We were playing ball!
We were getting ready to take our show on the road!
We were gonna look at my magazines!
We were watching Dylan's date!
BT-dubs, Lori, Great-Grandma Harriet knows you re-gifted her brooch, and she is not happy about it. [Lori instantly looks regretful]
GIVE US BACK, LILY!
[The other girls fight over Lily until Lincoln comes in and grabs her]
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!
[Lincoln tries to escape with Lily, but Lori stops him dead in his tracks]
I'll take that. [grabs Lily and runs]
Oh, no, you don't! [gets Lily back from Lori but crashes into Luan who switched Lily out with Mr. Coconuts]
Whoops. Sorry, Linc! Sorry, you loser! [laughs but loses Lily to Leni]
Ha! Na-na-na, na-na-na! [loses Lily to Lisa while she's gloating at Luan] LILY'S INVISIBLE!
[offscreen] Boo. [Lisa screams and she takes Lily from her] Boo.
[Leni runs off screaming; Lisa gets Lily back from Lucy only for Leni to intercept her; Luan tosses a banana peel on the floor causing Leni to slip and drop Lily and Lincoln catches her; Lynn intercepts Lily; Lola comes driving in her princess car and runs over Lynn and takes Lily from her; Lana tosses her jacks on the floor and causes Lola to have a tire blow out; in slow motion, Lola goes crashing and Lana grabs Lily only for the other girls to catch up to her by blocking her path]
Dang it...
[They all start having another brawl until Lincoln whistles out to them and they stop]
Look! We all want Lily to be our mini-me, right? Well, there's only one way to settle this. We'll let Lily choose.
Lucy, wait. We're sorry we pushed you so hard.
Sorry.
We got a little too excited when you said you wanted to be normal and regular, like us. But you're not those things. You're Lucy Loud. You're perfect just the way you are. And we love you.
Sigh. There's no need to apologize. I know you were just trying to help, and I thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sit in the dark. That always cheers me up.
Ooh! When did we put a mirror in the living room?
That's not a mirror, that's me! Now go take your dress back!
What?! No! You take yours back!
[End flashback]
That's it? You gotta be kidding me! Clyde and I wear the same shirt on picture day, and we didn't care.
It's a sister thing. You wouldn't understand.
Well let's go help them work it out So we can have our house back. [Lynn stops him with her hockey stick] Oof!
Negative. In this family, we have a sister fight protocol: butt out, and let them resolve it on their own.
Yeah? Well I have a protocol, too! Which is I don't like pooping in a bucket! [enters Lori and Leni's room] Hey guys. Now look, I know you've been having a little problem.
Lincoln...
But I think I can settle this.
Lincoln...
Leni, why don't you just return the dress? Lori once said blue makes you look washed out anyway.
Wait, what?!
Okay, okay. I'm just spitballing here. Lori, why don't you return the dress? Leni says taffeta makes you look like Aunt Ruth. And who wants that? Am I right?
Excuse me?!
So, what do you say? Ready to hug it out?
We already hugged it out! We were fine! But now that I know that she thinks I look like Aunt Ruth, we are definitely not fine!
You insulted my skin tone! Nothing's gonna make that right!
[Leni and Lori fight as Lincoln leaves, only to be scared by his sisters]
Ugh, nice job, Lincoln! We told you to stay out of it!
Based on rising decibel levels, I'm up in the threat level in the house from thunderstorm to hissing cats. Sisters, to your stations!
What's with Lola? Why isn't she getting ready for school?
It's pageant season.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Loud House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
The Loud House · 632 quotes
