Lana quotes from The Loud House

Aw, man. I've been so selfish.

[finishes brushing Geo's teeth] Bitey, we need to brush. Nobody likes a rat with bad breath.

Flip

Lana Loud, have you seen my raccoon compadre, Nacho? [tries to hand her a missing poster with a printed photo of him and Nacho hugging]

Oh, no… I'm sorry, Flip. I haven't seen him around before or once or since.

Flip

[trying to tear up] He didn't come home tonight and I'm worried. [sniffs sadly] He ain't never been away from the Food and Fuel this long before or once or since. [hands her some of Nacho's favorite foods as the pets begin to feel guilty] I got a couple two-day-old-taquitos, 10% real beef jerky, an extra-syrupy Flippee, and some of them earlier… [sniffs] Nacho cheese if he turns up. They're his favorite.

Aw. Poor little guy. Don't worry, Flip. We'll just find him. I'll just help you look. [leaves with Flip as he is crying, sobbing, weeping, whimpering, wailing, bawling, sniveling, whining, mourning, moaning, grieving, sniffling, sorrowing, and lamenting loudly]

Leni

Thank you folks for coming. After much investigating, I've just figured out that Lincoln is innocent. It was Lynn! And Luan! And Mr. Coconuts!

[gasps] You can't prove nothing!

Leni

Of course I can! [flashback to Lincoln doing his laundry duty when his stomach rumbles and rushes upstairs, out of the basement] Lincoln left the laundry room between 12:00 and 12:30 while the whites were washing, and when he did, the trio made their move. [Lynn, Luan, and Mr. Coconuts enter the basement, smirking slyly] First, Luan tossed her yellow socks in the wash! But peach socks alone couldn't dye the laundry peach. That's when Lynn threw in her red jersey! [Luan adds her yellow socks in the wash and Lynn adds her red jersey and presses "start" to turn on the wash; the whites dye peach as the clothes mix] And while all of this was going on, Mr. C. was acting as a lookout.

[not seeing the problem] That story don't seem to make a lint of sense!

Leni

Sure it does, and I've just had proof. [takes out coconut-scented detergent, and the other family gasps] When I interviewed Luan, I caught a whiff of something sweet. At first, I thought it was her coconut pie until I interviewed Lynn, whose jersey smelled exactly the same. Once I found the detergent, [pours some in the cap, and smells it] it all made sense.

[sniffs Lynn's jersey and Luan's socks] She's wright. They smell the same!

But why?! Why did you do it?!

Luan

Oh, Lincoln, isn't it obvious? [flashback to breakfast; voice-over] At breakfast, this morning, you totally snagged my gag! Hey, folks! What's a sheep's favorite fruit?

Baa-nana!

[voice-over] And I had a soak in it!

[voice-over to when she entered the kitchen and finds Lincoln eating her meatball sub, much to her anger] And then later, you ate my spicy meatball sub, which I was saving for my pre-game protein boost!

[voice-over] You stung us good, kid, so we came up with a plan for revenge.

Luan

We're sorry. We just got back at Lincoln for framing him. It was an awful idea, but we'll just replace everyone's clothes. Promise!

Enough with the sob story. Lana, take them to the slammer!

Rita

Or, instead, we put them on laundry duty for the next month.

Lynn Sr.

Works for me.

I'm on board with that.

And we'll just get Lincoln something, too. How's a limited edition David Steele comic sound? [playfully elbows him] Eh?

"Go get her, romeo."

Lori

"You so got this, little bro."

"Aw, our little Lincoln!"

"All grown up."

Leni

"All the bridesmaids should wear these hats at Lincoln's wedding. These are ALL the rage right now."

"Awwwwww!!!"

"Ooh!"

[as his sisters furiously rat out at him] Wait, wait, wait! Let me explain!

Lori

[enraged] You've got exactly three seconds before we pulverize you!

There was this video contest at school and I really wanted to win!

[incredibly outraged] You showed my sleep face for some stupid CONTEST?!

I just wanted a trophy to put in the case like you guys!

Luna

[firmly] You think you deserve a trophy for that, bro?!

No. I don't deserve it. Look! I'll delete the video!

Too late, Lincoln. The damage has already been done.

You made me look like a fool!

You made me look like a freak.

Lori

You made me look like I fart! And for the record, it was these shoes! See? [tries to make farting noise but fails] Of course it's not working now.

Lori, I'm sorry! Wait! Luna, let me explain!

Luna

Can't hear you, bro! [closes her door]

Leni, Lori, I'm sorry!

Lori

You literally disgust me!

Leni

Yeah! [bumps her head as Lori pulls her in]

Lola, Lana, please!

You're uninvited to my birthday party FOREVER!

I wanna slam it, too! [slams the door]

Lisa! Lisa? [A note slides outside Lisa's door, and Lincoln reads it] "Vengeance shall be mine." [shudders and moves to the next door] Guys, come on! I'm your brother!

I have no brother! I know I say that a lot, but this time I mean it. [slams door]

Lori

Well, if that's the best seat, then I should get it. I'm the oldest.

Luna

You'd just barf all over it, dude! I should have it!

Beauty before age.

Yeah! So I should get it!

Luna

That seat belongs to me!

Leni

NO, I WANT IT!

You can yell all you want, but I'm already in the seat, and possession is 9/10 of the law.

You're gonna possess a bruise in a minute!

GET HIM!

In this house, we call her the Queen of...

Lori

NO! NO MUSIC! [unplugs Luna's axe] NO MUD PIES! [Trashes Lana's mud pie] NO-

Leni

Way! That's totes cray cray!

Lori

[grabs the phone] NO PHONE CALLS! AND NO VIDEO GAMES! [grabs Lincoln's game]

Lori

[whistle blows] At ease. Just kidding! NOBODY IS TO BE AT EASE IN MY PRESENCE! As you know, Mom and Dad left me in charge. That means you have to do as I say, whether you're tall, short, or covered in fur and can only understand the word "sit"! Now, here is our schedule for this evening. 6:00 to 7:00: Sitting on bed with arms folded. 7:00 to 7:30: Chow. 7:30 to 8:00: Thorough cleaning of mess hall. 8:00: Staring at wall until falling asleep. Everyone got that?

MA'AM, YES, MA'AM!

SIR, YES, SIR!

Lori

[glares at Lana] DISMISSED!

"Hmm... Unprecedented levels."

Luan

"MARCO!"

Leni

"MARCO!"

Luan

"No, Leni. I'm Marco. You're Polo."

Leni

"Really, who's Leni?"

"Oh no no no no no!" [grabs her and puts her in a diaper.] "No fecal incidents in my pool! I'm watching you, Lily." [sees Lucy floating] "Lucy? I didn't know you liked to swim."

"I'm not swimming. I'm trying to see if I'm a witch. Am I floating?"

"Yes."

"Wicked."

[chases Lily] "Get back here!"

"You know what your soup needs? NOODLES!" [Bonks Lana with a pool noodle]

[Grabs one] "Bring it!"

"STOP SPLASHING ME!!!"

"Guys, no horseplay!"

Luan

"What about elephant play?" [blasts Lincoln with a jet of water while sounding like an elephant, which makes Lana, Lynn, and Lola laugh at Lincoln.]

[flies right into Bobby] "Huh? Bobby? What're you doing here?"

Bobby

"Lori said there was an opening for a lifeguard at Casa Loud." [Blows whistle] "Everyone out! Senior swim!"

"What? There aren't any old people here!"

Lori

"Oh, that's fierce, babe."

"En garde!"

[knocks Lynn in the water] "Have at thee! HA!"

"Just because I'm fabulous doesn't mean I can't have fun!" [slides down and swims] "La-la-la, la-la-la!"

Luan

"Okay, this time, instead of Marco Polo, why don't we just use our REAL names?"

Leni

"Okay! So I'm..." [looks at her brother, surprised] "Lincoln?"

Luan

"Boy, you really don't get this game at all, do ya?" [Notices what Leni meant] "Oh! Hey, Linc!"

[Aware of what's going on] "Hey, guys...what's all this?"

Lori

"Well, little bro, you had such a good idea in buying YOUR pool, we decided to-"

Luan

"-POOL our money to get this one!!!" [Giggles and everyone groans. Luan gets bonked by Lynn's noodle] "That's using your noodle!!" [Giggles some more] "Ow!"

Leni

"Aren't you gonna get in? There's TOTES room for one more!"

"You're gonna let me use your pool?" [The sisters are concerned] "Even though I kicked you out of mine?"

"Well, he was kind of a meanie."

"Not to mention selfish."

Lori

"And bossy."

Bobby

"And he stole my whistle!"

Luan

"But that doesn't mean he can't use our pool."

"More tea, Lady Lillington?" [Lily removes a tiara that Lola placed on her head]

She doesn't wanna have a dumb tea party. She wants to play with Izzy! [Puts Izzy on Lily's head. They then start to pull Lily by her arms, which discomforts her]

No, she doesn't!

Yes, she does!

No, she doesn't!

Yes, she does!

Luna

Dudes, give her back! We were in the middle of a jam sesh!

She was my specimen!

We were talking to Great-Grandma Harriet.

We were playing ball!

Luan

We were getting ready to take our show on the road!

Leni

We were gonna look at my magazines!

Lori

We were watching Dylan's date!

BT-dubs, Lori, Great-Grandma Harriet knows you re-gifted her brooch, and she is not happy about it. [Lori instantly looks regretful]

GIVE US BACK, LILY!

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!

Lori

I'll take that. [grabs Lily and runs]

Oh, no, you don't! [gets Lily back from Lori but crashes into Luan who switched Lily out with Mr. Coconuts]

Luan

Whoops. Sorry, Linc! Sorry, you loser! [laughs but loses Lily to Leni]

Leni

Ha! Na-na-na, na-na-na! [loses Lily to Lisa while she's gloating at Luan] LILY'S INVISIBLE!

[offscreen] Boo. [Lisa screams and she takes Lily from her] Boo.

Dang it...

Look! We all want Lily to be our mini-me, right? Well, there's only one way to settle this. We'll let Lily choose.

Merry Christmas, Mr. Grouse.

We all chipped in and got you something.

It's a bus ticket.

Luan

So you can go see your family for Christmas tomorrow.

Rita

And since you can't be with them tonight... [Rita and Lynn Sr. finally reveal their faces] ...we're bringing our family to you.

Lynn Sr.

How bout it, neighbor?

LOUDS! [in a warmer tone] You've made this the best Christmas ever. Thank you. I'd say you all landed permanent spots on Santa's nice list.

Even me?

Even you. [Lola hugs Mr. Grouse's leg]

Once again... [sobs]

Well, what are you waiting for? Everyone inside!

What's going on? What happened to the fighting?

Lori

Pfft. We're over that. We made up.

All of you?

Correct. Threat level is back to Field of Daisies.

Lynn Sr.

[offscreen] Oh, thank goodness!

I don't understand. How did you fix everything?

No, Lincoln. You fixed everything.

Me? How?

By leaving.

Luan

We told you, if you just butted out, we'd resolve it on our own.

But the dress?

Leni

I came up with the perfect solution: Lori gets to wear it on the days that end in Y, and I get to wear it the rest of the time.

And once they made up, the rest of us made up.

Heh. Well, I guess I've learned my lesson: Always respect the sister fight protocol.

Glad you're finally getting it.

Oh, I totally do, believe me. Next time when Lynn says she needs a windshield wiper when Lisa talks, or Lana says Lola snores like Pop-Pop, I am staying out of it.

You said what now, sporty?!

Oh, I snore, do I? How can you hear me over all your sleep-farting?!

Lynn Sr.

Phew. Can't wait to use the real toilet.

Lynn Sr.

Aah! Retreat! Retreat! [Runs back into his room]

Wait for me! [rushes to join them as the brawl shakes the whole house]

You had a tea party? How'd you mess that up?

And you had a campsite? How could that go wrong?

I thought you might have the same challenge as me and you'd never be able to do it and I didn't wanna be a Bluebell without you! Really? Aw! [hug each other]

Sorry for being so hard on you today.

Me too. We're just good at different stuff.

Bluebells or not Bluebells, I don't care. As long as we're together.

Luan

And the good news is that is nothing to worry about, we’re not a bad influence on Lily after all.

[putting their arms into the air to celebrate while Lucy is silent and putting her arms in the air] YAY!

[furiously] *BLEEP*!